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Normal new mum anxiety or something more?(11 Posts)
I'm not sure if this is an issue r not. So as not to drip feed.....
It started when i was pregnant. By the time i was 7 months I kept having thoughts - Particularly walking along the street/through town etc 'what if someone punches me in the stomach! Or stabs me?' I rationalised this at the time by thinking i was feeling protective over the bump.
Now ds is 16wks I am getting 'what if i bang his head?' (not a little band, a really bad one' or drop him. I was walking this morning and oddly the traffic doesnt bother me but going across a briddge, theriver was high and the tide coming in so quite fast flowing. A man was walking towards us and I was suddenly worried he would pick the baby out of the pram and throw him in. Its sounds ridiculous and I know it is even as the thought happens.
Generally i feel ok. Had quite an upsetting/traumatic incident a couple of months before ds arrived but time is healing that and yesterday managed to talk aboit it, and be at the place it happened without getting upset
What do you think? Not sure if this is normal or not.
I'm not sure if it's normal or not but I get the bridge thing. I had a nightmare when ds was very small about someone throwing him off a bridge (over a road not a river)near me and my heart beats faster when I cross it now. As you say, even as I think it I know I'm being unreasonable but sometimes a thought can't be un-thunk! I very much think it depends on how it affects your life. Are you altering your behaviour to accomodate your anxieties? Are your fears stopping you enjoying your baby? I if so then it might be worth a trip to the gp? I do think however being a mother takes your worry-radar to a whole new setting, which is normal but if, like me you have a propensity to worrying or pre existing anxiety I definitely think it can make it much worse.
It doesn't sound that abnormal to me. I had mad thoughts due to the sleep deprivation of late pregnancy and early post-natal months combined with the huge responsibility of keeping a new little person alive and well.
Nevertheless, it struck me that you said you had a traumatic incident nearly 6 months ago but have only yesterday managed to talk about it. That's not normal. I think you would be wise to seek help to deal with that issue.
I had those intrusive thoughts too when my daughter was born and they went away when she was about six months I think. I used to constantly envisage her having her arms broken by men, or me dropping a knife on her neck, or me dropping her down the stairs and her dying. They were fucking horrendous and I think it was my hormones overreacting.
However even if it's normal, doesn't make it okay. I wish I could have confided in someone but I wasn't brave enough. Find someone you trust, and tell them. They do go away I promise. X
Thank you for your replies. I was worried tbh about what response i would get.
run I didn't make it clear, I have talked about this incident a LOT and have to go to the place daily. What i meant is, I was at the place, dealing with stuff and talking about it and didn't get upset which is good progress.
Brightonmum thank you, it does help to know others have been through similar.
It isn't affecting my enjoyment of having DS at all and I am not altering what I do in anyway so thatch plus I guess.
I thank yesterday bridge incident just made me think ' This is crazy' and wonder if it was normal or not. I don't suppose its 'normal' as such but not uncommon it seems.
I remember being overly concerned that id drop DD and her head would smash like an egg
I don't think like that now
I remember when my DD was about 3 weeks old, DP had gone back to work and she was asleep in her Moses basket in the bedroom. I was in the kitchen (we're only in a flat) washing up and I convinced myself there was someone in the flat and would take her. I knew I was being irrational and that there was no way anyone could get in but it was terrifying and i kept going in to check and even rang DP to tell him how ridiculous I was being. I now suspect hormones.
I also still panic at night about her not waking up. She's nearly 2.
lovelilies yes that's the thing, its not a usual 'i might drop the baby' worry is it? Like my 'i might bang his head' its quite a graphic image of what would happen.
Really graphic. I can vividly remember it. Same happened with DS but to a lesser extent (not as often), but even now I can picture the images I had in my mind.
I lived near a canal and had the same feeling on the nearby bridge with ny newborn. Think its normal . They feel more secure after a few months and less vulnerable. I'm sure nature is ensuring you are full on alert !
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