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Birthday party rsvp etiquette......what's right/wrong?

(8 Posts)
Keepcalmanddrinktea Sat 14-Nov-15 11:06:43

Hi, neither OH or I know as we were both raised abroad and came back to the UK as young adults, what is the etiquette to a rsvp for a child birthday party invite if you are actually not intending to send your child? I am waiting for 2 mums (little class) to reply....2 others who could not actually come have replied and kindly apologised but these 2....I sent them a brief note just saying I hope the email got to them and was hoping their LO could come but ok if not just let me know (I am actually having made personalised goodies bags hence needing to know 3 weeks before) response again...for me that's just rude! But maybe I am lost here on a cultural issue and that's totally acceptable and not replying simply means we are not coming???
Thanks for replies, I just do not want to think someone is rude when in fact that's ok to do so (I would still personally say sorry cannot come)

Jinglebells99 Sat 14-Nov-15 11:12:19

It sounds rude, but maybe they haven't got your email. Can't you ask them in person?

Keepcalmanddrinktea Sat 14-Nov-15 11:16:32

Good point, I use the same email address the school uses for communications and we mums to circulate info/ possible but unlikely, I do not ever bump into them so may put a little note on their little ones' peg at school...strange 18 received it and 2 not with same mailing list used by others...z

merlottime Sat 14-Nov-15 11:24:21

Maybe they aren't in a position to confirm that far in advance so are hanging on until they know if they are available?

Keepcalmanddrinktea Sat 14-Nov-15 11:31:51

That's what we thought but rsvp is tomorrow and wveryone is giving 3 weeks space to sort out last bits like cake ordering and further not unusual from other parties in the dd likes very much the children involved so has been asking...and I cannot say that's probably what is annoying me the most...Given the young age cannot ask her to invite the little friends directly anyway, little problems in today circumstances! Thanks for the replies

sleepyhead Sat 14-Nov-15 11:43:58

Etiquette is to reply asap, let the host know if there's a reason you need more time to know if your dc will be able to come (while acknowledging host may not be able to wait for you).

Reality is usually at least one who rocks up on the day with an attitude of "never apologise, never explain". Or conversely is a no show (but won't bother to tell you).

Your blood pressure will thank you if you can just roll with it.

Keepcalmanddrinktea Sat 14-Nov-15 11:50:51

Lol! Thanks Sleepyhead....I just do not get...why to be rude when can be nice, why to wait if you know, and say if you can't, it would not bother me the slightest if it weren't for the asking of my dd....thankfully most of the other mums are like me! We are new to this school but dd very popular, maybe they are just shy or think who are you and what do you want? But these are children parties we go to everyone if get an invite, for politeness and my dd has usually a great time whether she know everyone or just one or two! That's enough for me, and usually I always get to chat to few nice strangers and that's also fine! Bah! But thanks for explaining the funny so true!

ffffffedup Sat 14-Nov-15 17:18:07

Unfortunately some patents are just rude and don't reply either way so you've either got to assume they are coming and potentially waste your money on party places (if going to a soft play) & party bags if they don't turn up or assume theyre not coming and don't book then on to the party and hope that they don't turn up.
Sometimes a simple yes or no is to difficult for some people

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