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I was a crap Mum today!

(16 Posts)
Treesandbees Thu 12-Nov-15 19:15:06

I have a 3.5mo DD and a 2.3yo DS. Today was a bad day. I ended up shouting at everyone (including the baby and dog) and damaging the kitchen worktop in frustration. My DD is very unsettled at the moment. Suspected lactose intolerance/cows milk allergy and having a nightmare getting her to accept the special prescribed formula (lots of screaming). This means she's hungry and won't sleep. So we're in this awful cycle of snack/cat nap/misery. My DS had reflux so I just feel like I'm going through this hell again. I got to 5pm and lost it as the toddler was playing up and she was screaming. I just feel ashamed and a bad Mum for loosing it.

scarednoob Thu 12-Nov-15 20:03:18

You're not a bad mum. You're a real human who is exhausted.

You're doing a great job.

DixieNormas Thu 12-Nov-15 20:06:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lornathewizzard Fri 13-Nov-15 10:57:46

I lost my temper yesterday and I've only got 1 and no reflux etc! Sometimes we just crack. It does not make you a bad parent. Hope today is better for you.

Summerdaydreams1 Fri 13-Nov-15 13:49:51

You are not a bad mum. Do not feel ashamed. Every parent has these moments though many will not admitt it !!
Tomorrow is another day. Do you have any family or friends who could give you a break for an hour or so?
Two young children are tough, especially one with reflux. Be kind to yourself.

Crazypetlady Fri 13-Nov-15 15:24:27

The baby won't remember and the toddler will soon forget. We all have moments look after yourself.

Raeray Fri 13-Nov-15 15:39:52

You are not a bad mum just a stressed one and I don't think a little shout every so often does anyone any harm.
Hope today is an easier one for you.
One idea for your daughters milk is a drop of vanilla extract - it can take away the slight bitterness and encourage them to take it.
thanks and brew for you

Scattymum101 Sat 14-Nov-15 18:58:06

We had a hellish time with dd2 with reflux and suspected cmpa and she would not eat. Every feed was a battle of trying to get her to take the milk while she screamed and bucked and sobbed as she was so hungry but had such negative associations with feeding even when we managed to find the right combination of milk and meds for her. It was awful. Dd1 ended up being ignored and I tried to hide how badly I was coping.
You are NOT a bad mum but please let someone know you're finding it tough! It took me til 8 months post baby before being diagnosed with pnd which I think was largely due to struggling to bond with dd because feeding issues.
Be kind to yourself. It's so hard what you're going through and you won't even realise how hard until it starts to get easier xx

Rinceoir Sat 14-Nov-15 19:35:46

I only have one (18month old) and I lost my temper with her last night when she was playing up at bedtime. I worked 4 nights last week and her nursery was closed yesterday so I had no sleep at all and was exhausted. Felt terrible afterwards of course.

Treesandbees Sat 14-Nov-15 20:24:11

Thank you everyone. It's reassuring I'm not alone. The reflux is really getting me down and hope we can find a way to get through it! X

Scattymum101 Sat 14-Nov-15 23:51:41

Things are much better with my dd2 now. We hit a real turning point around 20 weeks and now she's taking her milk fairly well and slowly getting the hang of solids (she's 9 months). She's quite a demanding little thing in general but now she can move about herself and crawl and cruise she's much more content.
It will get easier but don't be too hard on yourself when it's not x

Playitagainsam Sun 15-Nov-15 18:19:37

I feel your pain. We have a 3.5 yo and a 5 month old, the baby has had lots of feeding/screaming issues which we never really figured out and I lost my rag on numerous occasions. Just wondering, have you thought about Goats Milk formula? I was told about it, it is great for refluxy/cows milk protein intolerant babies and is way nicer for them than the prescription stuff which is hideous. It's called Nannycare and you can get it in Waitrose/Ocado or Amazon and some other places. Twice the price of Aptamil but well worth a go, my baby loves it.

Treesandbees Sun 15-Nov-15 19:51:07

Thanks Play. I hadn't heard of that but when I looked it up this article came up from the FSA: www.food.gov.uk/news-updates/news/2014/6003/goats-milk

So incase she does have CMPA then I'm not going to risk it despite it sounding good!

Playitagainsam Sun 15-Nov-15 21:18:29

Ah bugger, sorry, scrap that inaccurate advice!!

BeverlyGoldberg Sun 15-Nov-15 21:25:43

You're not alone and you're not a bad mum. A bad mum wouldn't have felt bad about it. Being a mum is exhausting at the best of times flowers

thatsn0tmyname Sun 15-Nov-15 21:30:38

Been there. It's rubbish, but tomorrow is another day. X

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