post natal anxiety/depression and returning to work

[ffffffedup]

Ds3 is 8.5m he's a dream baby so happy and pleasant sleeps well etc no issues at all with him. Since his birth I've suffered with depression and anxiety I've been on regular contact with GP and HV who have been a massive support I'm also ok 30mg citalopram. I have some good and some bad days which is a vast improvement from every day being a bad day.
Anyway I'm due to return to work in 2 weeks time and I'm not sure I'm ready at all I've had sleepless nights dreading it. No issues with leaving baby as he'd be with Grandparents who regularly have him when I do other things with dc1&2. Has anyone gone back and regretted it? Or gone back and it's helped? Getting to the end of the day seems a struggle as it is without having to throw a job in the mix. I do 4 short days and can't reduce that even further. I should add my dh works away Mon - Fri so although grandparents help out everything is on my shoulders.

[Scattymum101]

So sorry you're feeling this way. I've been diagnosed with PND after baby no 2 who is 9 months now. Due to go back to work after Xmas and already horribly anxious about it.

[ffffffedup]

It's awful isn't it scatty are you going to go back or get signed off?
I'm going to see my GP Wednesday I've no doubt that she will sign me off but then I get anxious I'm just putting off the inevitable and I can't stay off forever. Am I ever going to feel able to cope or is this just how life is from now on?

[Itsallaboutme3]

Hi, i was exactly the same as you this time last year. I went back part time and i found going back to work really helped with my anxiety and pnd - i think getting out of the house, in to more of a routine when back at work and also just speaking to colleagues and meeting new people really helped. Good luck x

[Scattymum101]

I had a horrible experience going back last time due to new boss and new regime and being totally out of the loop. I'm hoping it will be easier this time.
I don't really want to be signed off as I feel I'd be starting back on a negative. I want to try and go in strong and find a way of managing and if I can't then I'll reassess things.
Last time I had to put dd in full time nursery too which made me feel awful. This time they'll both be with my mum.
I dropped to four days last time and going back four days again this time.
I'm doing a KIT day tomorrow and hoping it will help but people are so negative I'm worried it will drag me down x

[LindsayS79]

I found going back to work helped my PND immensely. I was worried it would make me worse but I actually got better. I felt like 'me' again.
If your job itself isn't good, could you apply for another part time one? Or is there anything you can apply for internally?