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Help need advice, please read to see how I can deal with this

(2 Posts)
sheenag74 Sun 08-Nov-15 10:30:41

I am looking for some advice?...My son is 5 and a lot of the people I have as friends have older children and they all get on fine with my son alone but once there is 2 or more they gang up on him, he is never allowed on there ''team'' it will be all of them against him, they run away from him, say he can't play with them/walk with them and complain about him.
yes it is probably upsetting me more than him t see him being treated like that and I try and only spend short periods with them but as I have no family or visitors they are the only people I know when I go to events which are the worse as there is more than 1 child, I don't know what to do, had to say it to them and they don't see a lot of what I see as I still watch my son as he's just gone 5 at 7/8 they don't watch what there children are doing.
what do I do, my son still wants to see these boys and I would like to enjoy the only social life I have as have no babysitter so am always with my son...please help

Berthatydfil Sun 08-Nov-15 11:17:36

Unfortunately to some extent that is what children are like. I've got 3 dc with a 2 year and a 2 1/2 year gap and if I ever had dc friends over the youngest would get excluded. A 2 or 3 year age gap is huge when they are under 10 and realistically it's only now they are teens that it's getting better.
It's s tricky one to manage but when it was just my dc I could tell the elder not to be unkind to which ever younger one and tell the younger one to leave older ones alone / distract etc. Also same sex dc will play together so if your dc is the only one if the other gender then they may tend to feel left out.
Obviously it's easier when it's my own dc.
Things you can do is encourage them to play games your dc can take part in, monitor but don't helicopter and intervene by either nicely encouraging older dc/ren to include or distract.
It's also less likely to happen in smaller groups or where the age gap is less. So can you see more of those Dec.
You could try mentioning it to your friends and but they may see it as you criticising their dc.

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