Can therapy change your parenting?

[glowfrog]

Posted this on relationships but maybe this is a better place...

Hello all

I'm wondering whether to get some therapy to deal with my issues.

I have 3/nearly 4 year-old DD1 and a 7-month old DD2. I'm exhausted at the moment and pretty hormonal from breastfeeding BUT I don't think it completely explains or "excuses" my outbursts of anger towards my DD1.

It's not actually that I lose my temper but rather than I'm sometimes mean and petty when I do. I hate myself so much afterwards. I don't want to be like this. I remember my dad being like this sometimes - quite sarcastic towards me and my siblings - and I hated it. Whether it's nature or nurture, I want to be different.

Would therapy help? Has it helped anyone here?

[KatyN]

I think it would definitely help. That's all really.

Yes!

[Haggisfish]

I didn't find therapy helped but becomjng a teacher and learning about how to talk to children helped hugely. I read how to talk to children so they will listen or something and that helped. I think self awareness is half the battle tbh-now you need to develop an alternative response to your default one.

[ReluctantCamper]

I sometimes hated the way I talked to DS1 after Ds2 was born. I remember how patient I was when I was getting enough sleep. Not any more!

A friend of mine went on a parenting course and was noticeably more patient with her DC afterwards. I was filled with admiration.

Therapy/courses/books can all change what you do if you embrace them, definitely.

[Happyminimalist]

Read! Look on amazon for some well rated parenting books. Reflection is key to changing.

[glowfrog]

Thanks, all. I'm reading an excellent book called Toddler Discipline Without Shame but I think I need something help to help with this side of me.

Being so frazzled doesn't help for sure - counting to 10 to calm down can't happen when I often find myself just going from 0 to Hulk-rage in an instant.

I'm trying to pre-empt situations that might trigger this response from and I think I need more of that. Even if it's just telling myself "she is tired and this is why she is doing xyz, what can we do to help her?"

[Atenco]

Well a friend of mine who was severely physically abused by her mother found that therapy helped her a lot with being a mother. Her son is an adult now and an absolute dote