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Foster Order / Kinship Order - What do I do?

(4 Posts)
paperchase0verdone Sat 31-Oct-15 13:14:40

I had a very shady past that I am not proud off. Done things and been places that I shouldn't have and 10 months ago was Diagnosed with BPD & BiPolar as I had a bit of a break down. After help, meds and me waking up to what was wrong - I changed.
I am not the same person I was 10 months ago. I now hold down a full time job, have a close family unit, manage a household and get through each day with out crying (all of the above was always impossible before my Diagnosis)
So my sisters DP's daughter was a bit out of control, lets say, for them so it worked around me and my DP taking the DD on. Which seemed fine. We knew her for around 2 years so wasn't strangers. She had been to ours for 2 week holiday about a month before her coming to live.
Now we were just going to go for a Kinship as no one knew how long she would be with us. It was just a case of her coming to us in a new environment, away from the groups/gangs etc and re-build her life, her bond etc with her dad.
So we sorted out her new school and thought everything was fine except the new school decided that SS would be the best people to call. They visited and everything seemed fine. Until the second visit in which they kept pressing this Private Foster Carer Form. They want us to open up everything about our lives to them including Criminal and Doctors. Don't get me wrong we are happy to do it but we know this will fail our Assessment. We know that they will dig & dig and when it turns out we have done this & that (which I don't dispute but it's still in my records) Then what will happen when it fails? Will she be taken? Will my children be at risk because they deem us unfit for one? We haven't filled in the forms yet (SS is coming Monday)
There is also something about this SW that seems a bit off. Like he paints a pretty picture but there is something underlying there. He said Foster Carers do NOT get any money at all for their Foster Children now. But yet what I have read states otherwise? He said that it is only the past 5 years for Criminal Record but on forms say Life?
If we pull out of the Foster then will they question why? Dad is saying now about taking her back, trying to make things work there for them all but will SS be on hot fire as to why we have pulled the plug?

paperchase0verdone Sat 31-Oct-15 13:17:23

Just want to point out as well I haven't been in any sort of 'trouble' for nearly 8 years now. I turned my life around massively which I'm proud of for that alone!

Crazylou Sat 31-Oct-15 14:20:25

I understand what you are going through, my sister had a breakdown few years ago and ended up doing some wrong things, she also has been diagnosed with BDP she's got two kids which the social workers took them away from her as they said she's unfit due to BDP one stays with their dad, the other is with a family member in kinship care, my sister is desperate to get her kids back but they just keep saying she's unfit, shes doing her best to get back to normal, I do not trust SW so please be careful, they won't even let my mother see her grandchild in care or phone calls or allow my sister to call her own son. She's not a crimal but SW have labeled her as unfit

amarmai Sun 01-Nov-15 22:16:43

i do not have any sw experience, but it sounds far too risky to fill in those forms. Since dad is willing to take her back, is it possible to say that for the reason? Hopefully a sw will come on and give you real advice.

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