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My baby hates me

(6 Posts)
Win15 Thu 29-Oct-15 19:02:14

Just that really...my baby is nearly 8 months but always wants to be with her Dad. It's so bad that most of the time if both myself and partner are around and she is with me, she will scream and scream until she is with her Dad. I've looked after her every day since she was born with no help as no relatives up here so she spends most her time with me, it's really getting me down that she doesn't want to be with me. I've been in hospital for a day and a night yesterday for a procedure and since I've got back she's even more distant.

comeagainforbigfudge Thu 29-Oct-15 19:41:51

I'm pretty sure she doesn't.

flowers for you though. It's hard this baby lark isn't it? My dd is 5 months and gets right grumpy/cries/won't settle not long before my OH gets home. Then she's all big smiles for him isn't she?! Pfft!!

Get yourself some wine and pat yourself on the back for all the hard work you've done so far.

Booboostwo Thu 29-Oct-15 19:47:06

I didn't want to read and run but I am not sure I have anything helpful to say, but here it goes anyway.

Babies go through phases, she does not hate you. She may be more settled with her dad because he is more chilled, or he smells different or who knows. Negative thoughts can make this into more of a problem than it is as your views of your baby's attitude to you may become a self fulfilling prophecy.

If you don't mind my asking how was your birth? Do you feel you bonded with your baby at first? Is it possible that you may be suffering from post-natal depression which is clouding your views? My friend had a very traumatic birth which affected her deeply and led her to think similar things about her DS. She constantly commented on how DS preferred his dad well into his toddler years when he could understand a lot of her feelings and he reacted to them by being even more attached to his dad. My friend benefited a lot from counselling, is this something you might consider?

mamalovebird Thu 29-Oct-15 19:55:53

It'a a thankless task sometimes isn't it?!
My dd was like this for months around the same age, she would only settle at night with Dh, so much so we got a sofabed in her room and he co-slept with her for about 6 months.
She is now 2.9 and will not entertain Dh much at the moment, it's mummy mummy mummy over everything, but she has phases of this.

I'm sure she doesn't hate you. Let them bond and crack on with what you want/need to get done safe in the knowledge she's happily playing with her daddy.

DrewsWife Thu 29-Oct-15 20:15:19

I know you may think she hates you. But I promise she doesn't. She can sense your stress levels.

Let daddy take over for a while and go out for the afternoon. Book a spa treatment. (Don't flame me! I'm a new mum too and I love a good massage).

Local college will provide them cheaper than high street.

Do something for you. Go for coffee with a book.

When you come back. She will be desperate to know what you were up to.

Spend time singing songs with actions.

But don't think for a second she doesn't adore you x

Honeymonster01 Sat 31-Oct-15 21:16:32

I have moments of feeling like this too and it feels rubbish. I think being the main carer and the one that's there all the time can mean that they take you for granted and just expect you to be there without question whereas Dad has the novelty factor. Don't be disheartened. When feeling like this I try and tell myself that I am raising a confident wee one and that its a good thing that he is happy to be with others.

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