Neurotic mum alert : Wonder weeks

[Penguin13]

Ftm of DD 10.5 months. DD recently went though leap 7 according to the wonder weeks app. I know she wouldn't be expected to suddenly acquire all the new skills or abilities at once but according to the list of what she 'should' be able to do after this leap she can't do ANY of the things in the list and for many of them it seems a quantum leap from where she is now. Unfortunately I can't seem to copy and paste from the list but it includes things like :-

Answer simple questions - if you ask 'how big are you?' For example they may raise their hands.

Attempting to put on a sock but not succeeding.

Putting stacking rings together.

Etc.

Am I worrying needlessly? I know all babies are different it just seems like my baby is nowhere near doing any of that stuff and I'm worried I haven't talked or played with her enough or taken her to enough groups or something

[tiktok]

Eh? How would taking her to groups teach her about socks?! :)

She will do the how big are you if you have shown her to do it a few million times, and if you do it with her. At 10 mths you can prob teach her to do it in a week or so. Stacking rings, ditto.

Your dd prob does a lot of things not on the list. It's just a few examples of what babies that age may do. She prob does other things.

Your Hv will be able to help reassure you. Hope you can stop feeling anxious.

[Penguin13]

Well my DH as much as just told me I'm a crap mum for worrying about it. Actual words 'you don't want to end up like x friend of ours who wants to move to another country to get away from her parents who are always disappointed in her'

Thanks for your reply Tiktok you make a good point that most of the things on the list I have never done with DD (although I wonder if I should have been now....) I guess the thing about the groups I was thinking of things like baby sensory etc which are supposed to support their development. I did go to a couple of classes but ended up being fairly stuck at home whilst trying to sort out DD's sleep as she still doesn't sleep through at 10 mo.

I suspect lack of sleep/overall tiredness is contributing to my anxiety and low mood at the moment. 11 months (including last month of being pg) is a long time to have not had one full night of sleep buy that's a whole other thread.

[Penguin13]

But not buy obvs. Darned fat fingers.

[Llareggub]

You are probably better off deleting the app and just enjoying what your baby can do. It seems so important at the time but I can't honestly remember now when DS1 started clapping or whatever.

Best advice I ever had on mumsnet was that the baby development books were best used to prop up the end of the cot when my son had a cold. You can't do that with an app but you can delete it.

[winchester1]

My 9.5 month old is no where near any of that - socks her brother is only just attempting at two yrs.
Don't worry about it,

[Penguin13]

Thanks everyone. Think I just needed to hear that I was being ridiculous. Love the advice on propping up the cot with the baby books

[missmargot]

I loved the Wonder Weeks but my biggest criticism of it was how unrealistic the 'what your baby can now do' section is, especially the examples from other parents. There is a mother in there whose child was potty trained at 14 months and that is held up as an example of typical development when it clearly isn't.

Please don't stress about it, but if you are really worried then give your HV a call.

[wherehavealltheflowersgone]

My 3 year old can't put her socks on.
Delete the app - it won't help you cope with the lack of sleep any better!

[PisforPeter]

My 3.5 yr old can't put socks on & is a very bright child!! Just delete the app & enjoy your baby without the burden of goals & expectations

[LittleBigWalker]

I'm fairly certain Marie Curie, Rosalind Franklin, Einstein and Isambard Kingdom Brunel's respective parents didn't make it to many baby sensory classes, but they seemed to turn out okay .

If it's any comfort, my 11 month old doesn't really do any of those things either. And as he's number 2 he's spent a fair portion of his life watching CBeebies to boot. I started to feel a bit guilty/worried, but then fairly quickly realised I don't even have the energy for that .

[Imeg]

I had the wonder weeks app and also found mine could never do most of the things on the list. He's 19months now and nursery, hvs and other hcps have no concerns about his development so I think the lists are just a bit advanced for the ages (maybe more a list of 'some children might be able to do this' than 'your child should be doing this').

[ragged]

I thought 10.5 month olds were just barely beyond the stage of trying to eat socks. Mine were

Step away from the Leap-thingy.

[Bolshybookworm]

Ditch the app. My 20 month old is doing those things now, but certainly wasn't at 10 months (she was also mainly eating her socks at that age!). I have never been to a baby sensory class as its my idea of hell (I'm a bit antisocial ) and my kids seem to have survived. You sound like a loving, caring mum, which is all your child really needs. Baby classes are more for mums than for be babies TBH. They're fun sanity savers but I very much doubt they contribute anything to an average child's development.

Chuck the app and just enjoy watching your baby develop- 12-24 months is such a fascinating age. I may be alone in this but I love toddlers!

[BertrandRussell]

One sentence leapt out at me "ended up being fairly stuck at home whilst trying to sort out DD's sleep as she still doesn't sleep through at 10 mo."
Loads and loads of babies don't sleep through at 10 months. PLEASE don't be stuck at home "trying to sort it out" Get out and about. Do stuff with her. Have fun. Go to a baby group if you like and drink tea and biscuits while your baby has a play with some different toys. Look at other babies and realize how much cuter and cleverer and prettier your's is than everyone else's. They don't need to actively "grown up". They do it automatically. Often when you're not looking!

[Bolshybookworm]

The baby/toddler groups where you sit and drink tea whilst the kids entertain themselves are much more my thing They're brilliant for when you need to get out of the house but are too tired for anything that involves effort.

[ragged]

Another toddler group addict here, back in the day. Where I found my daily sanity.

[polkadotdelight]

13 month ds doesnt do that either. Dont look at stuff like that and dont compare with other babies (and ds doesnt sleep through either!).

[Penguin13]

Thanks all for your kind responses and for not just telling me to get a life!

I have been meaning to try to get along to a baby and toddler group. It's tricky as I only passed my driving test when heavily pregnant and hate driving so have tended to avoid groups where I would have to drive but live in a village so the offerings within walking distance are few I definitely did not have a mini panic attack today trying to park in a busy car park. Nope not me I have to force myself to practice though or there was no point passing.

[LaceyLee]

Hi penguin, my 10 month old doesn't do those things either. She likes taking her socks off and she did put one ring back on the stacking thing the other day but I think that was a fluke. I looked at that wonder weeks thing but it didn't really seem to correspond with my dd early on. She never seemed to sleep well, irrespective of wonder weeks or not wonder weeks! She also doesn't sleep through now, I think that's fairly normal, as long as she's not still waking hourly or anything? I'm back at work now so no baby groups for us but she's starting nursery soon. I'm thinking that copying the older children will be a good way to learn. Agree with you about the lack of sleep, I hope you're getting some good nights by now and agree with pp's that it isn't worth desperately trying to get her to nap at home etc, imo getting on with your day is better, your dd will become adaptable and able to sleep in buggy or car, or round parents and not just in her own cot at precise times of the day

[shebird]

Putting socks on is a very useful skill but putting them in the laundry basket now there's a real skill

[ilikebaking]

Out of interest,why haven't you had a full nights sleep in 11 months?
You have a DH, why isn't he up in the night?

(Please don't come back with the "oh well she only settles for me..." line)

[Penguin13]

Thanks for your input Lacey. I wish I knew more people in RL who had DCs who didn't sleep through at 10 mo. Everyone I know apart from one girl in my antenatal group seemed to have cracked it by about 6 months!

[ilikebaking]

That list sounds more like a 14 month old- not a 10 month old!!

[Penguin13]

Sorry Ilike cross post as I started my previous post before dinner then posted it after.

Very good question re sleep. DD is ebf but sometimes I have expressed so that DH was able to take the first wake and I could get a chunk of sleep - still not the same as a full night of sleep though! DH does do any night settling when DD doesn't need a feed (though through baf habits it is only relatively recent that she would settle without feeding) and through the help of a sleep consultant over the last month we are now down to pretty much one wake/feed per night which is a huge improvement. Weirdly now we are on the final straight it seems to have hit me more

[Penguin13]

Clearly I meant 'bad' not 'baf' habits!