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Give it to me straight please...!

(20 Posts)
Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 21:27:46

So DS has just turned 1, and I'm starting to put my mind to thinking of trying for another.

I have no intention of starting straight away, but I have recently visited friends with new babies and experienced a tiny fraction of how difficult it could be with 2!

So please, tell me the good, the bad and the ugly of having more than 1...!

I should add that DS 'woke up' to the world very early and I struggled to get him to sleep which led to him being over tired and screaming for hours on end, I really struggled and I found it so, so hard it really puts me off having another!

yeOldeTrout Sun 25-Oct-15 21:35:27

Smirk, chortle, sigh, gurgle, hahahahahahahahahahaha
One is fine. You're doing great with one, aren't you?

Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 21:39:25

Oh god, that bad?! I feared as much.

Honestly, I find DS really, really hard, and I only want another as I've always envisaged -3- 2 so it's a means to an end (what end I know not)

Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 21:39:41

Strike through fail...

yeOldeTrout Sun 25-Oct-15 21:43:09

In some ways 2 is easier. They keep each other occupied. It's very unlikely your 2nd will be harder than the first baby (in first yr, at least).

But you will be outnumbered most the time which is very noticeable once they are both mobile. That alone is a seismic shift.

afreshstartplease Sun 25-Oct-15 21:44:49

My second was harder than my third!

In the pregnancy
During his birth
During his first year

afreshstartplease Sun 25-Oct-15 21:45:04

First not third damn it

Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 21:46:20

I've always thought I'd like to get DS to 2 before we tried for another, just so I could size him up outside of the first year, but I'm starting to worry about age gaps etc now.

DS is walking so I'm getting more and more of an insight into the chaos he will cause.

RattleAndRoll Sun 25-Oct-15 21:46:32

Watching with interest.
Ds is 14months and wondering wether to start trying soon, wait til he's two or wait longer.

BeStrongAndCourageous Sun 25-Oct-15 21:47:30

You what though, it depends a lot on the baby. My first was dreadfully difficult, but her brother was a different child altogether - placid, cheerful, slept as if he'd read all the baby books about when he should!

It's harder now he's older and more active and demanding generally, but by now we're in the swing of it so it's manageable. And they're so sweet together, it's lovely to see. DD was "watering" DS in the bath tonight "to make him grow", and when I got him out first to get ready for bed, he blew her kisses.

Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 21:48:26

Fresh did you consider your first hard work??

I'm interested as I think DS has been very hard as he is full on and very demanding already (always has been high maintenance with glimpses of being easy if he wanted to be!)

BeStrongAndCourageous Sun 25-Oct-15 21:48:51

There's almost exactly 2 and a half years between my two - less a week.

Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 21:50:05

Yes Be it is entirely down to the baby. I'm just shit scared that I'd get a worse little pup that would make me think DS was a breeze!

FATEdestiny Sun 25-Oct-15 21:54:09

There will be a number of parenting lessons you will have learnt with DC1 that you probably wont repeat. This will make your life easier. Second and subsequent children are usually easier because of this. First Borns are often hardest work because you are on that steep learning curve of parenthood.

You wont go into parenting your second born with the same 'everything will be wonderful' rose tinted glasses you had with your first. The realities of the hard work involved in the first year will be expected, so you cope better with the 'little wins' and have more realistic expectations.

RNBrie Sun 25-Oct-15 21:54:49

I found having my first child a massive shock to the system. We had feeding problems, reflux, sleep issues... The second one came along when dc1 was 2.5 and it's been the best thing we could have done. I've really loved having two, I enjoyed mat leave a lot more second time around cause it was much more fun hanging out with dc1, I found the baby bit quite dull.

I was pretty firm with a routine so I know what is what most days and the two of them potter around together nicely (for now).

I wouldn't worry grin

plannedshock Sun 25-Oct-15 21:57:30

There's 2 yrs between my two, in for a penny and all that, I just thought if I'm doing the baby thing I'm going to crack on, hard work, feel guilty all the time about giving attention equally but my first has loved it. It's not too bad really!!! (Both of mine didn't sleep, want to be held all day and screamed a lot but I'm coming out the other side!)

Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 21:58:40

Thank you Fate, I think you are right.

I don't want to miss any of DS by having another too soon, and yet I don't want to claw my way too far out of the baby stage to feel like it's the 1st all over again!!

I seem to constantly bump into people with lovely placid children who sleep like a dream and act amazingly that I wonder a) how do I get one of those and 2) is it me who thinks DS is difficult and so, will every child be difficult, or is he actually difficult!!!

Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 21:59:50

Sorry epic cross posting that's making things sound promising!

afreshstartplease Sun 25-Oct-15 22:05:10

First was a walk in the park

Luckystar1 Sun 25-Oct-15 22:05:59

Ah well I'm pleased to hear that (from a comparative basis!)

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