dropping the bedtime bottle (and other issues)

[cornishglos]

Hello,
I have a gorgeous 21 month old son, and am expecting another baby in a month. I have always been fairly laid back about parenting, sticking with instinct and not stressing too much. I've loved every minute to be honest.
But now I'm aware that there are a few things that have to change for the new arrival, and I'm just starting to doubt myself and need your advice.

The bedtime bottle. At 21 months he still has this. Over the past week we've tried to switch to a cup. He was fine with it for a few days, but is now taking AGES to settle, and tonight asked for a 'big milk'. Should I stick with changing it, as I worry about his reliance on a bottle at his age? Or am I pushing him before he's ready?

He also settles at night much more easily for me than for his dad. His dad wants to take over so that I'll be freer when the baby arrives, but it isn't really working, and I usually end up going in.

Which leads me to... he is never left to sleep on his own. We always stay with him until he drops off. I can't see how we change this as he's in a bed and will just get out if we leave the room.

I want to get things right for him (and us) before the baby arrives, but am worried about pushing him to grow up too fast. He's such a good boy and such a joy, but bedtimes are becoming a struggle... do I go for an easy life or power on?

Any advice/ thoughts appreciated. Thanks

[ffffffedup]

My thoughts are leave things as they are for now a new baby in the house is enough change to be getting on with. There's plenty of time to take the bottle away don't make more issues for yourself at this stage during your pregnancy.
Could you continue to put your ds to bed as you do normally and Dad has baby during this time? If it's quicker and easier for you to do it then why not let Dad have some bond time with the baby.

[cornishglos]

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I am probably making unnecessary stress for us all, but it takes someone from outside it to point it out.

[Fugghetaboutit]

My ds is nearly 3 and still has milk in bottle to help him settle. I'm due in January and hoping to leave new baby with H while I do bedtime with ds as pp said above. If that doesn't work out we'll all get in my bed probably!

[Fugghetaboutit]

Just seen your ds is 21 months - still very young and need that comfort so don't worry too much.

[FATEdestiny]

Being able to fall asleep alone at nearly 2 years old is not growing up too fast. It really isn't.

It if fine if you want to continue staying with him while he falls asleep, if you don't want to have that battle. But it would not be him growing up too fast to be able to go to sleep independently at his age (or indeed for the last year).

Regarding the bedtime bottle, instead of dropping the bottle could you change the timing? Have the bottle downstairs at the beginning of bedtime wind-down even before PJs are on and so on. Changing it to a 'drink of milk' rather than a sleep association may make the eventual change to dropping it easier.

[cornishglos]

Yes, that crossed my mind FATE. Might try having the milk before the bath. Then we can brush teeth in the bath rather than in bed when he's tired and resistant.

[ODog]

Following as this sounds like my DS. He is a bit younger right now but will be 23mo when new baby arrives.

I currently plan to keep things as they are while they are working and leave baby with DH while doing bedtime/get DH to do more bedtimes when he is around. My concern is when DH is home late. Hoping that I can lay in bed with him whilst BF the baby to keep it quiet.

[ridinghighinapril]

A bottle at 21months is completely normal. I know plenty who were still having it at 4y! Importantly, it is best they drink their milk then brush teeth and go to bed, rather than go to bed with a bottle. The latter can result in them falling asleep with milk pooling around their teeth leading to caries, gum disease etc, which will affect not just their milk teeth but their adult teeth, too.

FWIW, my DD stopped at 3.5y i.e when she started preschool, as I told her children who go to school don't use bottles and she was completely fine with that.
DS, aged 2.5y, is starting to drop his bottle - this has happened naturally, coinciding with him dropping his nap and therefore, going to bed much earlier so not having the void between dinner and bedtime to build up an appetite for milk.

As for the bedtime routine, there is no right answer other than whatever works for you all and that will change as he and his sibling grow.

[cornishglos]

Thank you all very much. Very reassuring. We've relaxed a little. The bottle is back, as is a calmer bedtime! Will wait and adjust as necessary when babe is here.