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Did you have doubts about having DC2?

(3 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Sat 10-Oct-15 23:22:29

This might seem a bit garbled but that's how my brain feels over the issue of having a 2nd DC.

Me and DH are 33 and our DS1 has just turned 18 months.

Due to health problems I have there were potential risks with the pregnancy (mainly to my health) but everything was fine. We pretty much agreed once we got pregnant that due to the health complications if we had a healthy baby by the end of it all and I also came out unscathed then we'd count our blessings and just have the one child.

However, when DS was about a year I started to toy with the idea of having a 2nd baby but DH was sure he didn't want another. We'd light heartedly discuss it and he would light heartedly say he didn't want another baby and gave some reasons why and I never really pushed it.

We did reach a point though where I knew if I really kept on at him then he'd agree to it in order to make me happy but I obviously didn't want another baby unless he 100% wanted it too.

Over the last week however I have strongly felt inside me that I really, genuinely do want another baby and that it's something I want to start working on sooner rather than later. I am scared about the prospect of it, my health, the sleepless nights, the financial aspects etc but I'm hoping that's a normal way to feel?

I poured my heart out to my DH the other night about how I feel and he was open to discussing the issue and that when we have more time (we were expecting visitors) then we would sit down and talk about it further in terms of practicalities.

The problem is that I keep having fleeting feelings of, "Am I mad to have another?" I keep thinking about all the potential negative aspects of it and I feel a bit overwhelmed by it all and get nervous about the prospect, but at the same time I'm desperate to have another.

It worries me that I'm not 100% sure about the idea of another and that I have worries and doubts. But is that a reason to not have another? Should the 10% of me that has these fears and worry override the 90% of me that genuinely wants another baby?

I just don't know.

How do you know when is the right time? Is there a right time?

Please reassure me that some doubts are ok when it comes to TTC and that it isn't always an easy and perfect decision to make.....

knittingbee Sat 10-Oct-15 23:50:21

I had serious second thoughts about whether I'd done the right thing as soon as I saw the blue line. I was 37. I had a rough pregnancy with DC1. My job position was precarious. If I had another, I was set on another boy.

DC2 is the light of my life. She's the happiest baby, so loving, I had a fabulous pregnancy and everything has been smoother this time around.

I don't think you'd regret having a second, but I don't know how risky it would be to your health. Only you can make the call on whether it's worth it for you.

phoolani Sun 11-Oct-15 00:12:19

Both me and dp were ambivalent at best about a second, hence the 3.5 years between our two dc. But it just overtook me all at once; I wanted another despite being able to give you twenty reasons off the top of my head why it was a bad idea and only one reason it was a good idea - 'I want another one'. Dp was still ambivalent, but was happy to go with it. It was a good decision.

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