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Baby has no routine because day still seems to revolve around toddlers schedule.

(18 Posts)
weeblueberry Tue 29-Sep-15 13:12:02

I feel bad because 6mo doesn't really seem to follow a schedule when we were (and still are to some extent) really rigid with DD1s. She just sleeps when she's tired and I feed her when she is hungry. As a result some days she doesn't sleep much and evenings are pretty erratic.

Am I the only one who also has a toddler who's finding it hard to get the baby into a routine? For example I'm not sure how I could do the whole 'calm baby in bedroom for established nap from awake' when the toddler still demands so much of my attention?

Twowrongsdontmakearight Tue 29-Sep-15 13:17:00

I had the same problem. Often poor DD was having a lovely sleep but I had to get her up to pick up DS from school. She had to hang around at his swimming lessons etc too as she got older.

That's life unfortunately. If it helps they both seem to have grown up fine!

PotteringAlong Tue 29-Sep-15 13:18:30

I never managed it. Ds2 is now 1 and has never had a nap in his cot!

PotteringAlong Tue 29-Sep-15 13:19:02

He's also going to hang around at a swimming lesson this afternoon!

slightlyconfused85 Tue 29-Sep-15 16:20:26

I've got a 10 week old Ds and although he's a little young for a routine he has no hope. Everytime he falls asleep for a nap I have to hoik him out to get Dd from pre school or take her somewhere. He's often so exhausted by the evening that he wants to nap about 6pm but toddler Dd is so desperate for him to come in the bath with her that he has to do that and wait half an hour when he crashed out for the night. Not too worried I'm sure lots of subsequent babies have to fit in!

Lilipot15 Tue 29-Sep-15 19:13:08

I'm in the same boat except baby not great at sleeping unless walking or driving and gets so overtired by the evening. It's really hard.
I'm sorry I have no answers, have posted my own thread for advice about baby's sleep!
Good to know I'm not the only one though.
I can't actually remember if we were in a routine with DD1s naps but I do remember timing walks or drives to groups for naps. Fine when it's just you and a baby, not so much now!

weeblueberry Tue 29-Sep-15 19:34:25

It does make me feel better to know I'm not alone. Thank you for the sympathy. smile

Pico2 Tue 29-Sep-15 19:40:13

I think that's normal for a second child. There are some benefits of being a first child - one being that the world revolves around you. There are benefits of being a second child - particularly the fun of having an older sibling.

MadgeMak Tue 29-Sep-15 19:48:00

My second took all his daytime naps in the sling for the first six months of his life, that way we could carry on as normal. We only stopped as he started to become nosy and resisted sleep when out and about, at which time the iPad was used heavily by my eldest to keep her busy whilst I got the baby to have a proper sleep on at least one of his naps per day. Not ideal and sometimes the eldest suffered for it, but likewise if baby had had a decent nap already then I chose to prioritise the eldest and go to soft play or whatever even it it meant the baby wouldn't have a decent second nap. You just have to juggle their needs and prioritise one over the other sometimes.

BikeRunSki Tue 29-Sep-15 19:48:21

I found the same. dS (dc1) is still a stickler for routine at 7, and dd(4) is a lot more flexible.

My NDN has a 2 yo and an older ds at school with DS. I am always happy to pick up her dS with mine if she asks, while her 2 yo naps. Those days are still fresh in my mind!

Scotinoz Tue 29-Sep-15 23:25:01

I've got a 22 and 5mth old, and the baby's routine is a bit 'flexible'. She's just had to fit in with the toddler.

They're both up at 6, so I get them fed&dressed and the baby has a nap around half 8 while I have a shower/do housework. It's sometimes a proper nap and sometimes 20minutes. We're out the door at half 9 each morning for whatever activity so the baby will nap again in the pram or car. Again it's sometimes only 20minutes.

I've got them both sleeping at lunchtime (bit of a fluke I think!) so the toddler has a couple of hours at half 12, and the baby will most days have a really good few hours. We just hang around the house of an afternoon so it works quite well.

If the baby has had a decent afternoon sleep then she just about stretches until 7pm bedtime. If not, we have a walk round the block about 4 so the toddler gets some fresh air and the baby gets another nap.

It works for us, kind of, but there are days it goes horribly tits up!

FixItUpChappie Tue 29-Sep-15 23:48:35

I let go of all that routine stuff with my second and went with the flow. I would just go to playgroup or play date with baby in a sling and when he was tired he'd sleep. When he was hungry I'd feed him. I'd drive around in the car a bit if need be to make sure he got enough sleep here and there. Made life easier and my second is a much, much better sleeper and much more flexible than my first TBH.

Brugmansia Wed 30-Sep-15 00:04:29

I just have one so can't comment on the juggling aspect. What I would suggest you think about is whwther the lack of routine is a problem. Routines aren't necessary. Some babies suit them and some parents cope better with them. Your post doesn't indicate the lack of routine is causing any problems. If it that isn't the case think about what the problems are and what changes may solve them.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Wed 30-Sep-15 08:46:30

There really isn't much you can do. By the third the poor boy stood no chance with all the activities and school runs and pre school run etc!

The only thing I would say is that, if you have a young toddler who still naps, you can try and arrange that the baby is settled for a nap in that period (I used to have a nap with DD2 after I'd put DD1 down). Also, you can put the big one to bed first and then do the bedtime routine with the baby.

But none of mine have had 'from a book' routines. Just patterns they drifted in and out of at various ages. [smiles]

BoboChic Wed 30-Sep-15 08:49:26

You have to create your baby's routine around the very real constraints of the rest of your family. This might mean your baby going oy bed late and getting up late shockwink

NotSoFancyNancy Wed 30-Sep-15 08:53:17

Dd2 never really had a routine but slotted in nicely and napped when necessary in buggy/sling/ car seat/ arms. So much easier and relaxed and at 2yo now a fab sleeper and very laid back.
If dd1 did not have her 2hr lunch time nap she was an absolute nightmare!
God knows what will happen with dc3 in a few months.

NickyEds Wed 30-Sep-15 11:40:42

I've got a 21 month old and a 10 week old. Toddlers routine is pretty set in stone. Baby just naps as and when. Feeds on demand. She can be unsettled by the evening but I don't see what I can do without becoming a total slave to two routines and never leave the house!Imagine if dd is like ds was and had 3 naps a day, 8.30ish, 11.30ish and 3.30ish- ds sleeps from 1-3 so I'd literally never get out if they both had them all in their cots. If dd really needs to sleep the I put her in the sling and take ds for a walk but most of the time during the day she sleeps in the bouncy chair at home.

imwithspud Wed 30-Sep-15 13:30:54

I have a nearly 3 year old and a 4 month old. I agree with the others in that you do have to juggle a bit. It was fine when the baby was really tiny as she would just sleep all the time wherever she was, gets a bit trickier as the baby Gets older though. Dd1 is at pre school 3 mornings a week so on those days dd2 often doesn't get her first nap of the day until gone 9:30, I have also had to rely on CBeebies or Netflix to keep dd1 entertained whilst I'm settling dd2 off for a nap. Then there are times when dd1 has to wait because the baby needs a feed and vice versa if dd1 needs lunch. It's just one of those things. Tiring but I'm looking forward to when dd2 is a bit older and is a bit more independent/doesn't feed and nap as much. I have however managed to get them both to bed at around the same time, just takes some tag teaming by me and dp. He usually puts the toddler to bed and I sort the baby out.

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