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Another baby?

(11 Posts)
Siennasun Sat 26-Sep-15 17:01:19

DS is nearly 3. It was always my plan to have an only child and I love our life as it is.
But I'm over 35 now and wandering if we should have another before it's too late.
I don't think DS will miss out by being an only - he is around other children all the time, he's very happy and sociable.
I'm not an especially anxious person in general, but I'm worried all the time about something happening to him. I don't want to be an over protective parent and stifle him....I don't want to leave it too late then regret not having another child.
Has anyone else felt like this? What did you do?

Sparklingbrook Sat 26-Sep-15 17:02:39

How does your DH/partner feel?

Siennasun Sat 26-Sep-15 17:12:14

He was keen to have another at the start of the year but I was sure I didn't want another. I think he'd quite like another still but was worried it could be twins - I'm worried by that too tbh.

Sparklingbrook Sat 26-Sep-15 17:16:23

Yes, there's always that danger I guess. Much relief here when DC2 wasn't twins. Not much you can do about that though.
I also think that 35 isn't old at all for having a second so you don't need to rush the decision.

Siennasun Sat 26-Sep-15 17:41:14

I agree 35 isn't too old for most people but I'm nearly 36 and It took over 2 years to conceive may be too late really is now or never.
Also, everything is so easy with 1 DC. Having a baby and a toddler looks like hard work. confused

Sparklingbrook Sat 26-Sep-15 17:44:58

Ah ok, so you feel time is of the essence I get that.

DS will most likely be 4 by the time a baby arrives which may be easier than toddler IYKWIM. I had a gap of 2 1/2 years and it was actually ok, DS1 was going to pre-school etc.

juneau Sat 26-Sep-15 17:46:09

Baby + toddler is hard work, but if your DS is almost three then you won't have that combo - he'll be nearly four (or older) that's not too bad at all. I have a 3.5 year gap between mine and DS1 was great when his brother was born - he was old enough to grab a nappy for me, or a burp cloth or whatever, he was potty trained, at nursery a couple of days a week and by the time I needed the push chair for DS2 he was old enough to walk. Oh and I was 37 when DS2 was born. It was fine. If you want two, go for it, but if you don't, don't.

Siennasun Sat 26-Sep-15 19:23:14

thats true 3.5/4yo plus baby would be much easier. DS loves babies so he'd probably be really helpful too...Thanks for your replies. Still no idea what to do tho confused

GreenRug Sat 26-Sep-15 19:29:43

It's impossible isn't it? I think the fact you're questioning your original decision to have an only child says something. And as sad as it is, the older we get, the harder it can be to conceive. In some ways maybe you're in a good position insofar as you've reconciled having only one child and are happy that way, so if you did decide to at least try for number 2, it might be easier to deal with should you struggle to conceive?

Fwiw, I agree with pps. I have 3 dc, 2 years between each, and the eldest is a great help to the baby as he's 4 years older (the middle dc decidedly less so grin )

Ahardmanisgoodtofind Sat 26-Sep-15 19:35:10

I never wanted any.had ds and was DETERMINED he'd be an only. Then we started questioning that decision the same way you are.we decided to leave it up to fate.we gave ourselves 4 months of no contraception.if it happened yeahy if not then that was perfectly fine too.
Dd is now ten weeks old and it was the best non decision we ever made, and ds ADORES her and is actually quite helpful.

Siennasun Sat 26-Sep-15 20:51:28

It really is impossible - i think you are right I will leave it up to fate and if it doesn't happen it wasn't meant to be.

Ahardmanisgood Congratulations on your new baby. Glad you made the right non-decision grin

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