Absolutely sick to death of the destructive nature of both my boys.(14 Posts)
I'm not precious but why do kids have to wreck every possession I have?
There are big dents in the plastering, I have a burn in my 2 month old bedroom carpet where ds 1decided that drying out his trainers with my hairdryer would be a good idea, my tv screen has marks all over it from a kitchen spatula being smashed against it.
I just discovered a lump knocked out of my kitchen cabinet from a scooter being spun round apparently.
Plans to redecorate are not t next year, so they will do their worst till then.
My (once) lovely house, is a shadow if it's former glory.
Kids, no one tells you that bit do they, they wreck your house as soon as they can move...
I know, STOP MOANING, get on with it.
As much as you hate things being broken or damaged, you have to remember that wear and tear happens. None of these things were done deliberately.
Your DS1 thought he was solving a problem by blow drying his wet trainers. He didn't burn the carpet on purpose.
My tv screen has hand prints and wax crayon marks on it, it's probably been hit with a kitchen spatula too. Children do this type of thing, because they're trying to see what will happen if they do x,y or z not because they are naughty.
Did your DS deliberately spin the scooter into the kitchen cabinet? Or was it an accident? Is he usually allowed to scooter indoors or was it raining and he wanted to play inside with it?
My DC have wrecked loads of furniture unintentionally, and me complaining or shouting has not repaired the damage, but made us all feel awful. Sofa springs have broken because they were leaping aboard pirate ships and antique nests of tables have needed to be re-glued when used to row across the Atlantic etc.
You have to let go of the possessiveness of it only being your house, they live there too. Move ornaments to higher shelves or put important things in locked cupboards. I've learnt this the hard way.
It sucks doesn't it. My 7yo dd has broken or damaged almost everything in the house, every wall is drawn on, tv was pulled over, floors are chipped and she's even damaged the bath. The only thing she hasn't done yet is broken a window, and that's because I virtually rugby tackled her when she tried to throw a broken brick at one once. (Her big brother was never as destructive).
I'm so sick of it. I've decided to declutter ruthlessly. Even if the house is a wreck at least it might be tidy .
I feel your pain. Unfortunately, DS1 has been on a destructive streak since he learnt to use his hands - and he's 18 now.
DH calls it being "heavy handed", and DS1 does have Aspergers which contributes to the clumsiness to some degree, but part of it is definitely a case of just not being careful enough!
My house is tidy & clean but certainly in need of a plasterer, new internal doors & redecoration!
My mum was always shouting "For fucksake, I can never have anything nice, can I?"
I never really understood what she was talking about until my son came along! He is breaking something atleast once every 2 days. He's broken my camera, lost some of my earrings, smashed my favourite photo frames, and absolutely ruined his brand new carpet that I've had to rip up! I haven't had anything on window sills or low places since I've lived on my own.
I think all kids are a pain in the arse! They all wreck things. None of them appreciate anything. Until they have kids of their own that is! My DP has said since being with me, he respects his mum even more (he isn't baby daddy) so I think that kind of says something.
I got more annoyed at the things he broke by throwing them. He did it all the time when he was younger. On purpose.
But there are times when you have to laugh at the ridiculous crap they've done, though!
We had rules that stopped our two DSs destroying our house.
No bikes, scooters, footballs or any kind of outside toy inside the house - ever!
No crayons or paint anywhere except kitchen table - ever!
Toys not allowed outside playroom - ever!
No touching anything electrical - ever!
I have 2 boys and they have damaged very little (oldest is 9 now). A scooter would not get over the threshold to be honest. Sometimes a ball does - i won't have hard footballs but they are allowed the cheap plastic ones.
Are they old enough to know the price of things? I've just had expensive glass doors to the garden put in and the children have been told that they are the most precious thing after them. They know the cost of replacing things and that they don't how have enough money to buy a new one and they know about looking after things. If they are old enough to understand, they are old enough to take responsibility imo.
Mine are still very bosterious - I find them jumping off the top bunk into a sea of cushions - assault courses and tents are often set up in the lounge, football played in the hall - they just don't break or damage much as they know they would be in very very deep trouble!
theregoes we don't really have birthday cards up because they're knocked flying within an hour. My mantlepiece is devoid of pics, knick knacks and flowers.
Toys not allowed outside playroom - ever!
I really don't like kids being told that their possessions aren't allowed in most the house. Unless the same rule applies to every other person in the house and their stuff.
I take my boys out for long walks in the woods so they can bash things there instead. Best solution I've found.
i think that the bumps and knocks are what makes a house a home,ds using a knife carved the doorframe measuring his and his brothers height ,its been painted over but i see the marks and smile and remember the telling off they got,similarly ds2 wrote his name on the wooden bunk bed then swore it wasnt him whod done it,i miss making that bed and putting stuff there to hide it.....theres stll a mark on my kitchen cupboard doorfrom a wayward scooter when the kitchen had only just been fitted ,ds3 (hes 15) as broke some of the glass off my be,he did it with nun chucks,theres still a knob missing off my brass bed from about 15 years ago when ds1 used to play bedknobs and broomsticks in it!
theres bigger things to worry about ...now my dc are older coming home to a spotlessly clean living room and a clear kitchen table only reminds me that those days have gone.
We have firm rules about what is allowed and what isn't. Pens and pencils only in the dining room or in their rooms. No pens were allowed until they were 6 only pencils. Scooters and balls are outside toys and not allowed in the house. Accidents happen and this can't be helped but they do not touch the TV screen it doesn't need to be touched it is to watch. No jumping on furniture or in the house. We are quite an active family so are always out and about so we don't spend hours on end in the house. I think if kids are running around and jumping and things are getting broken, they need to get outside to burn some of that energy off!!!! If mine start getting restless the back door is open and they are outside or we get the scooters and go down the park even in the pouring rain!!!
It is inevitable unless you are a complete control freak that the house is going to get bashed up and battered and some days it really gets to me as well, other days I try to remember that if I lived in a show home it would not be a home, it would be a house devoid of all noise, life and love, doesn't that sound like bliss!! )
I have given up to a certain degree, but three things worked wonders for us and might help after your house is decorated:
A Clear gloss like paint after it is finished ask your local DIy place for details, which mean you can wipe clean all sticky mitts. It won't stop the plaster being ripped into shreds with scooters but will help with every day marks.
Flash eraser (from any supermaket) my new best friend ~ works everywhere except for the scorch marks on the carpet.
Mood lighting helps you overlook lots in the evening, I now have dimmers everywhere!
One room in the house that is your quiet room, and is immaculate. It gives you a place to hide as carnage prevails!
PS It is not a boy thing, we have two girls and they are just the same, you can just add spilt nail vanish on the carpet to the list of damages!!
PPS I now have a sign which I love, in pride of place:
" excuse the mess, the children are just making memories!"
I also echo what others say. Boys also need to get out and run off steam.
Boys cooped up in a house or classroom cannot settle down to learn or play constructively if their bodies are fizzing with energy.
My house is just about to get really refurbished... it's got its advantages in that any knocks to the hideous 1970s beige melamine kitchen would probably improve the aesthetic and the only wall that's got crayoned on so far is getting knocked down next month!
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