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6 week old baby fell off the sofa. I'm devastated

(96 Posts)
wtfih Thu 17-Sep-15 10:42:43

Last night I fell asleep while breastfeeding my baby. I felt like I was dozing off then heard a thud and baby crying. Woke up in shock to see her tummy down on the carpet.
I can't shake off the shock I've been through and can't stop crying. I don't know know what to do anymore.
She stopped crying when I put her on my breast. Since then (8 hours ago) she's been fed a few times. She smiled, responded to our voices, kicked her little hands and legs, followed us around with her eyes. She's been sleeping for most of the time but she normally does every morning.
I can't see any bruises and can't feel any bumps on her head. She's been posetting after feeds but she does that usually. When they say go in if they vomit they mean actual vomiting, right?
She has been sleeping in my arms since birth, she was low weight so I feed her on demand. I can't stand seeing her cry and every time I try to put her down she cries a lot that's why I let her sleep on me. I've been extremely tired these days.
I can't stop crying, can't believe I let this happen she means everything to me and I can't believe I could let her get hurt sad(
I can't stop thinking about it wish I could turn back time or wake up from this horrible nightmare sad

BeverlyGoldberg Thu 17-Sep-15 10:45:58

It's so hard feeding a little one when you're tired. I really feel for you.

I think you should take her to A&E for an xray to be on the safe side.

AlisonWunderland Thu 17-Sep-15 10:47:17

Maybe get a sling so that she is supported if you doze off?

tribpot Thu 17-Sep-15 10:47:57

Honestly, you would be amazed at how often this happens. Everyone feels as you do, as if they are the worst parent to walk the face of the earth - but the reality is, it's feeling like this that means you are not the worst parent to walk the face of the earth.

She sounds absolutely fine to me but if you have any doubt at all, please do take her to a walk-in centre or call your midwife/health visitor. They absolutely will not think you are a monster.

Try not to beat yourself up about it, you sound very tired and in the need of a good sleep. Can your DP/DH support you to make sure you get plenty of rest?

Gobbolinothewitchscat Thu 17-Sep-15 10:48:11

Oh you poor thing

I'm sure she will be fine but I'd take her up to A&E just to be checked out.

Once you've done that, in a few days, I would speak to your HV (if they are not crap!) to try and get some advice on how to put her down in her Moses basket to sleep at night. You'll have a few bad nights to start with where you'll be up and down with her constantly re-settling her but it will be worth it for both of you

Florriesma Thu 17-Sep-15 10:48:26

This is why you have Gps. Go and see them. They won't mind and will put your mind at rest or send you to and if there is a concern. They are the voice of reason. All the internet will do is worry you more.

Florriesma Thu 17-Sep-15 10:48:41

This is why you have Gps. Go and see them. They won't mind and will put your mind at rest or send you to and if there is a concern. They are the voice of reason. All the internet will do is worry you more.

ChristineDePisan Thu 17-Sep-15 10:48:57

Poor you, six weeks is a tough time in so many ways

Firstly, yes, they mean actual vomiting, so keep a close eye on her but don't panic. Pretty much everyone has dropped or let a baby fall at some point - they are much sturdier things than they appear.

But sleeping with her in your arms, especially when you are so tired, is not a sustainable long term approach. Have you read the SIDS guidelines for safe co-sleeping?

Fugghetaboutit Thu 17-Sep-15 10:49:49

Yep done this, rolled off changing Mat onto laminate floor quite high. Took him to A&e to be safe as so little.

Actually ds fell off bed last night (now 2.5yrs) don't feel bad. Takes a couple of days to stop replaying it in your mind.

tabulahrasa Thu 17-Sep-15 10:53:29

My DP dropped my DD from the couch at a similar age...he didn't even tell me till she was 4 (years) hmm

She was clearly fine, lol.

You're clearly way too tired to have her on you though (well if course you are, you have a newborn, lol) you need to try and work out a way of co-sleeping safely.

lougle Thu 17-Sep-15 10:53:29

I doubt A&E would want to xray a newborn without signs that there is an injury. If she seems well then by all means go to the GP but A&E isn't appropriate, imo.

hotfuzzra Thu 17-Sep-15 10:58:10

My baby rolled off the bed recently. I was trying to go back to sleep and wasn't watching her. She cried for a short time, then she cheered up and was completely normal. Fortunately lots of my friends and family had forewarned me and I did feel confident that she would be fine. DH panicked me slightly by suggesting we go to A&E but when I rang my HV at 9am on the bloody dot they said it was fine to keep an eye on her and only go to GP if she was behaving abnormally. FWIW they said not to go to A&E and the GP should be the first port of call.
It sounds as though you have done the right thing and are keeping an eye our for unusual signs. Perhaps as she's littler than mine was I'd call HV or call GP just in case.

Can you try side lying? Maybe not full Co sleeping if you don't want to but at least with feeding in bed, perhaps using a bed rail too, if you do drop off they can't go anywhere until they're moving crafty feckers

Rest assured that nearly all parents will drop a child at some stage. They're wriggly buggers and we've only got two

cjt110 Thu 17-Sep-15 11:04:35

Its extremely easy in those first few weeks to dose off when feeding. I very nearly did it a few times. I would get her checked just to be certain all is ok - I am sure it is. Don't beat yourself up about it too much. Accidents happen. Perhaps just try and make sure you put the tv or something on to keep you a bit more awake.

I once trimmed my DS nails when he was little and caught his skin in the clippers. He screamed and cried, I cried for longer than he did and even "confessed" to DH when he got home from work.

As long as she is ok, then don't be too hard on yourself.

LoseLooseLucy Thu 17-Sep-15 11:04:56

I've never dropped my child, but she did roll off the bed once, and I felt truly awful for days afterwards.

Try not to dwell on it too much, she'll be fine.

Lilipot15 Thu 17-Sep-15 11:06:31

You will have learnt a very scary lesson. I would definitely ring your GP to request a check and also as someone else said your health visitor to discuss safe ways of cosleeping etc.
You will no doubt have been looking on the Internet and seen that falling asleep with a baby on a sofa is a risky activity so you need to work out ways to feed safely and see if you can get more rest.
Hope your baby is okay.

BumgrapesofWrath Thu 17-Sep-15 11:07:42

My DS fell off a ledge onto a kitchen for at that age. Absolutely fine!

My concern would be more that you fall asleep on the sofa. I think you should consider feeding lying down and co-sleeping.

quangotango Thu 17-Sep-15 11:10:23

my ds1 did this at about 6 weeks, he suddenly flipped off the sofa while I was just kneeling in front of him gazing adoringly at him. Then a few days later we decided to go for a walk with him in the sling for the first time, DP had the sling on, lots of faffing about adjusting the straps etc, finally ready, we put him in and he shot straight through as we'd forgotten to do the bottom up. He landed on the bed luckily. He's 10 now and absolutely fine. This kind of things happens to most new parents, please don't beat yourself up about it.

quangotango Thu 17-Sep-15 11:12:15

but please find a safer position to feed in. Have you got a breast feeding pillow?

ohnocourtingdd Thu 17-Sep-15 11:15:28

Another parent here whose DD was dropped at 21 days old. I took my DD to A and E and was told that as she had cried immediately on dropping then that was a good sign and to keep an eye on her for the next 24 hours. If your DD does not seem unwell then I do not think you need A and E but watch her closely.

I know its extremely scary and believe me it plays over and over in your mind for days but you are not a bad mother.

Best wishes

TheWildRumpyPumpus Thu 17-Sep-15 11:15:51

It doesn't feel like it now, but her falling on the floor is probably safer than her ending up wedged in some other position on the sofa while you sleep. Babies bounce smile

Co-sleeping can be great when done safely, but an over-tired adult on the sofa can be dangerous.

wtfih Thu 17-Sep-15 11:16:05

Thank you all for your kind words of reassurance.
Will take her to the walk in clinic at 5. I don't know about a&e, my nct friend banged her baby's head on the wall, took him to a&e and she's been told to monitor him.
I have a co sleeping crib and a sleepyhead.
I obviously want to do the right thing she just screams so much when she's not in my arms it's heqrtbreaking. If I place her in the sleepyhead while shes asleep she wakes up within minutes. Tried it countless times. She then gets super tired and annoyed if I continue the feed, sleep place in sleepyhead and repeat.
She falls asleep with my nipple in her mouth every single time. I was considering buying a dummy but I'm worries she won't feed as well after and we have just started gaining good weight now.
She is not difficult, only feeds twice during the night and most days she's just happy as long as I hold her in my arms. I don't know what to do.
Not sure about the hv, I don't want her to think I'm a bad parent even though I've obviously been appalling by allowing this to happen.

LittleBairn Thu 17-Sep-15 11:17:04

Please don't feed in a sling whilst on the sofa incase you fall asleep that is seriously dangerous advice.

We co sleep & bf but you need to do it safely, doing it on a sofa is very dangerous and sadly many babies die this way. A family member lost their baby this way.

TreeBird16 Thu 17-Sep-15 11:17:35

Its not a breastfeeding pillow she needs - its help getting used to feeding lying down. Co-sleeping is your friend in this situation.

OP you must have been exhausted. These things happen. They are still upsetting for the Mom but babies are tough little feckers ;-)

If concerned being her to your GP for peace of mind but she sounds bright and alert by your description

Florriesma Thu 17-Sep-15 11:19:21

Hv has seen and heard it all before. I wouldn't let that out me off.
Some babies need holding a lot but if I were you I'd post in feeding because between the possessing and the dislike of lying flat it sounds suspiciously like reflux. And go to see the he. It's not you being crap. Youre just muddling through and doing your best like every other mother.

MaisieDotes Thu 17-Sep-15 11:19:56

When I was 6 weeks my father was striding down the pavement in a holiday village, carrying me on his shoulder, when he slipped on a plum outside a greengrocers and went arse over elbow and I landed on my head.

I was fine and went to university and everything grin

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