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20 day old baby - how much were you doing on a day-to-day basis?

(32 Posts)
parapluiepliant Mon 14-Sep-15 11:16:32

So I had my 3rd baby DD - on 25th August.
Was lucky to have a Waterbirth and no complications.

I have a DD 6 and DS 8 so there is the need to ' get on with it.' Particularly as this baby is a new relationship (am divorced).

Am wondering as it's been 6 years since I was in the newborn woods what you do/did with your time at this stage? I'm BF the babe and knackered. However, have just started to do the school runs.

This morning I had to rest when the baby slept. But house is a mess and I can't help feeling that DP expects me to be superwoman as I've done this twice before and it's his 1sf baby.

When did you start going to baby groups etc?
x

Mrscog Mon 14-Sep-15 11:26:38

Barely anything at that stage - after the school run I'd do a couple of light chores then just chill out with DS2 until the school run again.

DS2 is nearly 5 months now and I haven't bothered with baby groups, I find them tedious and I'd rather just do stuff at home/wonder around places I want to go/see friends/relax when my 3.5 year old is at pre-school 4 days a week!

LetThereBeCupcakes Mon 14-Sep-15 11:42:53

I only have the one DS (now 2.7) when he was 3 weeks I made it to a post natal group.

That was about it! I went there once a week and spent the rest of the time just dozing / BFing.

Enjoy your newborn.

ALongTimeComing Mon 14-Sep-15 11:45:57

Hahahha dear god woman! Give yourself a break. Are the kids and you dressed? Are you all fed? Are you semi-clean? If so well down! Sit on your bum and relax.

Perugia Mon 14-Sep-15 11:51:47

Good grief - 20 days old! I'd be amazed if you got off the sofa. You've recently given birth which is a huge physical ordeal (congrats by the way!) that makes you superwoman enough in my book. Most men would go to bed for a year.

Enjoy your time with your lovely squishy newborn and remember to prioritise your needs too. Sod the cleaning, everyone gets beans on toast or order a pizza. Even better get your DP to pull his weight!!

NewBallsPlease00 Mon 14-Sep-15 11:52:36

Ate cake
Drank (decaf) coffee
Watched homes under hammer
Velcro child allowed for little else...

gallicgirl Mon 14-Sep-15 11:52:58

My 2nd baby is 6 months old and I have a 4 year old who's just started school.
I bf too and I can quite honestly say DS was 4-5 months old before I felt able to leave the house confidently. Admittedly the baby was easy. It's the 4 year old who was a nightmare to get anywhere on time.

Instead, I've relaxed and just pottered about the house all summer. DD had fun playing with neighbourhood kids and in garden, occasional trip to playground but nothing major.

As for the house, I'd be happy if I kept on top of laundry and washing-up. If I managed to prep a meal for DP to cook when he got home, then that was a bonus. If I went out to a group, then nothing else would get done.

Feed the kids, keep them clean and the rest can wait. If you're REALLY bothered about the state of the house, get a cleaner in for a couple of hours.

The trouble with being superwoman is your partner will think that's normal and expect more. Be realistic with him about what's possible and make sure he helps too. Also, there's no harm in your older children helping with little chores like tidying their bedroom, emptying the washer, making sure toys are put away.

TurnOffTheTv Mon 14-Sep-15 11:54:37

Pretty much back to business by then. I had two older ones as well and it's bloody hard doing school runs etc. but my DP was back to work by then, and he works away so I just had to crack on.

horsewalksintoabar Mon 14-Sep-15 11:58:24

grin Baby groups??!!! You don't do those after DC3! It's in the guidelines. Look, I feel for you. I came into my second marriage with DC1 and had DC2 with 'new' hubby when DC1 was 8. Man it was hard...a steep learning curve. I was out of practice. DC2 was new hubby's first child. Just remember, you have the experience. DH doesn't. You know the drill. You got the T-shirt twice so have faith in your abilities. We did waaay better with DC3. This time around, 'not so new anymore' hubby and I walk around bleary eyed, I keep forgetting playgroup every week (I keep meaning to drop in but...I don't). If the kids are loved, well fed, nurtured and looked after, then that is all you need to be dealing with. Take it easy. Enjoy these quiet, peaceful days and rest if/when you can.

LittleBearPad Mon 14-Sep-15 12:27:08

Wrapped presents. It was Christmas Eve wink. But frankly other than look after DD (2 at the time) not a lot else. If the baby had been DC1 I'm not sure the presents would have been done.

parapluiepliant Mon 14-Sep-15 17:39:05

Some brilliant replies! Thanks for the solidarity. LOL horse - yeah I don't have a burning desire for baby groups but as I'm 41 now - all my friends are done with the baby stage so I'd better meet some mums of babies I guess x

hookedonamoonagedaydreem Mon 14-Sep-15 20:22:44

When did you start going to baby groups etc? I'm going to one for the first time (this time around) and DS is just over a year old!

I did just crack on and was going the school run by the time the younger 2 were 20 weeks old. To be fair though, there were quite a few nights (especially Fridays) when DH would return from work and send me to the sofa with a take away and a glass of wine. He would then send any straggles back to bed and clear up the devastation that was the rest of the house (I am no superwoman). There were also days when I did the school run in a blur of tiredness, returned home and went to sleep.

ALongTimeComing Mon 14-Sep-15 22:00:52

At least you'll know to never wake a sleeping baby. I had first time you get mum friends who made me do this so I could get to groups...then I met some older/second time around mums who laughed at me. Baby isn't woken, we go late or don't go. I have a cup of tea!

Vernonon Mon 14-Sep-15 22:04:14

When my baby was 21 days old I took her out for the first time - to local bf group. I did NO housework and dh used to make my lunch and all other meals.

horsewalksintoabar Tue 15-Sep-15 09:25:00

Oh my goodness OP I hear you! I'm 43 and my friends are long past nappies and Guinness Book recognition for longest ever period of sleep deprivation. I'm still waiting to collect my prize for this... It's 13 years late! But I think I have a secret fear of baby groups. The young mums might refer to me as the 'archeological dig' mother ("Cool!! Eggs and ovaries from 1972! They're fossilised!! They must have hammered out the dings for her last pregnancy!") Should I put 'feeling Biblical' on my Facebook status?

insanityscatching Tue 15-Sep-15 09:46:22

I was very much back to normal within days after each birth tbh. So dd2 was born on Saturday pm. Home on Sunday, took dd1 and ds3 to school on Monday morning and sent ds1 and 2 to school too. Picked them up at home time, did housework in between and cooked for us. Remember midwife coming one afternoon and she caught me making pastry and baking cakes whilst dd was in the pram asleep so she would have been less than a week old. Dh was self employed and so was back at work as soon as I came home.

RoganJosh Tue 15-Sep-15 09:49:14

I tried to get a load of washing either on, folded or put away each day.
Assemble something for dinner.
On a good day a five minute pick up of stuff from the floor. Maybe even empty the kitchen bin.

anothernumberone Tue 15-Sep-15 09:49:34

I was useless on DC3 BF was really, really a tough battle. I did do school runs because they were a necessary evil but everything else fell apart until we got into the swing of BF. I started baby groups at about 6 weeks though for my sanity. I did a circuit of them so I could socialise and not make a mess at home.

MirandaWest Tue 15-Sep-15 09:56:46

Ds was born late November and I definitely went to a baby group before Christmas. Tbh I did have depression (didn't realise this until later on) and I felt better being out than being at home with my thoughts.

DD was born when ds was 22 months and I was out and about doing the groups I'd been doing with him by the time she was a week or so. Easier birth that time and I was probably in a better place mentally (was on ADs during pregnancy this time)

stairway Tue 15-Sep-15 10:38:34

Hi there my baby was born late in august too.
So far I have not been to any baby groups. I plan to go in two weeks time as I'm still healing from a dreadful episotomy.
Atm I'm just chilling in the house in between school runs.. Husband wants me to do things and doesn't understand there is no time.

horsewalksintoabar Tue 15-Sep-15 11:08:05

insanity gets a well done sticker. grinwink I'm only joking insanity... Sort of. What me? Jealous?

insanityscatching Tue 15-Sep-15 11:49:07

Horse I'm just rubbish at sitting about and I really don't enjoy nursing babies tbh they bore me rigid.I'm somebody who when they come to visit the baby I hand them over and go and make tea/sandwiches or do some ironing all things I find more interesting. Thankfully I had babies who worked like clockwork (GF has nothing on me winkgrin) and so life was quickly back to normal.

parapluiepliant Tue 15-Sep-15 15:42:33

Insanity - you've got the strength of 10 men/women!! And the constitution of an ox I'd say ??
How do you keep going? And any secrets to your babies running like clockwork?!

Having said that - this baby is very chilled. I just find the constant BF knackering. Not sure how long can do BF with two others.

I might watch a film later and not feel guilty. I probably should be eating more chocolate...DP is already hinting about wanting his size 8 girlfriend back WTF!!

parapluiepliant Tue 15-Sep-15 15:56:04

Stairway
Congratulations on your babe. What date? My DD was 25th Aug. sorry to hear about evil episiotomy. you definitely have the right to sit and watch netflicks all day x

ApplesTheHare Tue 15-Sep-15 18:38:36

Congratulations on your baby! I was doing almost nothing but feeding DD, changing her and washing sleepsuits 20 days after she was born. DH did all housework and cooking and we've no other DC and also have a cleaner. It took me about 8 weeks to start getting out and about, though I did have a big PPH and needed to recover from that first. Take it as easy as you can, the newborn stage is HARD work.

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