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Why do I bother(7 Posts)
First time poster. Long time lurker. Feeling really fed up this week. I've been feeling under the weather so I've spent a lot of time at home this week with my three year old DS and 9month old. I've been trying to do some fun activities though and not just have cbeebies on all day. I've just spent ages setting up a painting activity outside to make the most of the lovely weather and to spend some quality time with my son while the baby sleeps. I don't think he even spent two minutes before he decided to ride his bike instead. Why did I bother! It's really pissed me off, so I've flounced inside like a toddler. Normally this sort of thing wouldn't bother me but I think it's just the end of a very long week.
You sound tired. Have you had any time to to yourself lately?
I think as parents we set things up for our children, expect them to be thrilled and then it is a massive disappointment when they are bored stiff after a couple of minutes. .
I remember, a few years ago now, when I went to a lot of trouble to take my DS to London Zoo for the day, it was a long journey, expensive and I thought it was a real 'treat' - he didn't enjoy it at all.
I've learned to set my expectations really low - and now I have a teenager who doesn't even like being seen in public with me. .
I have dd (3) and DS (11 months). Did exactly the same the other day. Managed to get DS to nap and got all the paint stuff out for her. But I learned from my previous mistake of getting it all out.
This time I gave her 3 colours, and 3 brushes. She painted for about 20 mins.
I think the less is more approach with toddlers/preschoolers helps as they just have less to concentrate on.
It is frustrating though so I completely get where your coming from. Their attention spans are far shorter then ours and also I can see that in Dd's head she was like 'yay! I painted. Well, I'm done then'
I didn't mind too much as it only took like 2 mins to get out and 10mins to clean it all up again so no real hardship.
As pp said, set the expectation bar low, also 2 kids of those ages is hard work.
I'm knackered by tea time each day!!
Roll on September when dd gets her 3 yr nursery time!!
Sounds like you are tired and maybe bored so trying to do some lovely mum/son stuff. Problem is they generally have other ideas!! Been there too many times!
Yup, less is definitely more at this age. I have had this with my 3 year old too (also have a 9 month old). Went to the effort of hiring a babysitter a couple of times to get one-on-one time with him, taking him to the park and for a special lunch. He wasn't impressed in the slightest!
I learned my lesson and next time I got a babysitter, I went out shopping on my own and for lunch with a friend instead ... I do still make time just for him during the day when I can but I keep it simple, just reading a book together or doing stickers.
Had the same problem when my DC were younger. My DD would sit all afternoon doing puzzles. I felt guilty that I never spent the same time with DS until I accepted the fact it was because by the time I set anything up he was onto something else.
Give it another 10 years you will be on here asking for help as he can spend all day on one activity - namely playing the xbox. Their concentration seems to improve then!
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