Help, feel like I'm sinking with the house

[withalittlebitofluck]

Just as above. 4 children 3 are 3 years and under. I cannot keep on top of anything ironing and washing etc. house is not dirty but it's certainly not tidy. Each upstairs room has washing to go away, my room also has a large pile on the floor. My older child's room is awful. I can't get in there with 3 others.


So mums and dads how do you keep on top of anything house wise? Need tips to help make a change. (Also nights are broken with children so I am exhausted which makes the situation even harder so be nice)

[ffffffedup]

No advice but just to reassure my washing situation is exactly the same. It's a never ending vicious cycle, the fact that it's actually been washed is good enough for me. Don't be too hard on yourself I doubt many people live in a perfectly tidy house 100% of the time and if they do they probably don't have kids

[lucidlady]

Hugs. It's hell isn't it. Strangely I found doing smaller loads of laundry more regularly helps me keep on top of things. I put one wash on per day and put the previous days wash away each night.

[ffffffedup]

I try to keep on top of the kitchen bathroom and living room anything else is a bonus and shortlived

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Lower your standards. Job done. Seriously, if you have a tidy house with kids, your spending too long tidying up.

[BlueThursday]

I've only one small DD but DH works abroad so a lot of the time I'm on my own.

I try to do at least one washing a day and one item of housework a night once DD is in bed

That does exclude the kitchen, that's done daily and a quick swish of the toilet

If the ironing gets on top of me (usually DHs golf stuff I just can't be annoyed with it) I call a local ironing company; really helps the load

[WanderingTrolley1]

I don't, OP.

[IDismyname]

Can you get some help via Homestart? They have volunteers that'll come and see you you once a week and give you a hand. You can self refer. Not means tested.
I was a volunteer. Used to help a mum cook once a week so she could wean her 2 boys. It helped her to know that there was always good food for her DCs. It helped her feel in control.
HTH.

[fabuLou]

Cut out the ironing asap. I gave up after no 3, now have 4.

[withalittlebitofluck]

Thanks all. I tend to only iron the stuff that has to be ironed. If it's been tumble dried its shaken then folded.

It's not that bad, but I grew up in a tidy home which was show home most the time. I struggle with time as it is. I always feel that playtime with me involved doesn't happen enough.

I just wondered if anyone else is in the same boat feels that no matter what they do they never have a tidy and organised house.

[withalittlebitofluck]

I should- no home start in area, I also work in sure start and would feel embarrassed asking for help in my home. Hope that doesn't sound too silly.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

I can't.
I just learnt to live with it.
Once the dc's are grown up,I can be a bit more on top,until then I refuse to be nothing more than a drudge trapped by the demands of keeping an orderly home.

[Debs75]

I have 4 dc's. 1 of which is disabled. Some days I feel like I am drowning in debris.
The worst thing for me is not doing things as they need doing. I wash clothes and dry them but they can take forever to get upstairs into the drawers. Me and DP share a lot of household chores but not on a rota so we often find we have both left the pots as we feel the other will be doing them.
I do hoover often as we have pets and the hair annoys me.
Like the PP says lower your standards a little until you get the house to a reasonable standard, I never polish as I haven't the inclination or time, I also don't iron unless the kids are at school which has given me extra time to keep on top of the dc's toys this summer

The worst thing is that in my job I actually help young mums to keep their houses clean. Some of these have never been shown or included in cleaning house, some are just plain lazy and don't want to do it. With them I give them 5 minute jobs which are just as they sound:
It takes 5 minutes to collect dirty pots and put them I the kitchen
It takes5 minutes to hang a line of washing out
It takes 5 minutes to strip a bed and change the sheets.

also have 10 and 30 minute jobs for when they get in the swing of cleaning. Some of them are really motivated by this as it is small bits of cleaning which add up to a tidy house. and my alternative is we will just declutter a room a day and I will throw out anything which looks like rubbish.

A

[withalittlebitofluck]

Debs, I too work with young mums and dads and help them with all aspects of parenting...
I Hoover 3 times a day hate crumbs. 2 wash loads a day and I do sort them into rooms and ironing basket it's after that which goes Pete tong. Youngest is 6 months and 3rd is 20 months and it's just blinking hard. Even just taking stuff upstairs is a mission with them both.


Hopefully this time next year it will be better.... Fingers crossed

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

I think in our parents day, kids had less, less clothes, one to wear, one in the wash, less toys, less indoor play. Less time, all that walking to shops daily for bread. So now they have tons more, and your are expected to be a full on, playmate and teacher. ( why does the world and his wife show up on the day you give up? Some sort of mess police)

[withalittlebitofluck]

Good point Sally. I do try to live 'simply' but we're lucky and do have very generous family. Who weekly treat the children to toys or see a outfit while shopping. It's just never ending ????

[afreshstartplease]

Hi op

I have three dc 7 and under

My washing situation gets like yours too, it's a constant battle for me

It is getting better as they get older though

Older two will when bribed help out with their own washing etc which mines I just have to do mine and 2 year olds

I find cleaning threads on mn help lol

I do spend most of my weekends cleaning and tidying unfortunately just to try and stay a float

[fourtothedozen]

Thow away your iron. It is not necessary. I have never met a 3 year old who cares whether their clothes are ironed or not. We are a family of 4 adults and one teenager and I don't own an iron.

[florentina1]

Boxes, boxes and more boxes are the answer. The create an illusion of tidiness.

A large box for each child's clothes, so that as soon as they are dry they are put into the box. Same with toys. Into a room, bend down chuck a toy into a box.

I also put a box at the bottom othe stairs. If something is not needed immediately and is stressing you by being there chuck it I the box to be dealt with later.


Finally a tidy neat home with 4 small children, is unlikey to be a very happy place.

[Kennington]

Get a washer dryer with a fast cycle
Mine does one that is 30 mins for a wash- not completely full. It is perfect for lightly soloed clothes. Then a heated hanger for them to dry.
Freeze large vats of food and have a dishwasher with a fast cycle too.
The fast cycle stuff was a massive life changer fore I could do 3 washes in one day and dry them reasonably well.

[hookedonamoonagedaydream]

Ages ago there was a thread on the larger families board for sharing tips. Found it! really old thread, but really helpful

Washing is just constant in our house, twice a week (if I can) I throw it all in the front room on the rug and sit and watch TV while sorting it into piles, I creep into the DCs rooms and put it away at about 10/11 at night.

I do think you have to lower your standards, I have thrown an old sheet on the floor nest to the dryer in the (sort of) utility room, all clean dry washing get folded/throw on the pile until I have time to put it away. Often of a morning the DCs are getting dress from stuff I pull from the pile!

I never supermarket shop. Ocardo are amazing, I have had missing items once or twice over the few years that I have been using them. Baths/showers are only every other night.

Cooking is banned after school (war can break out in the time it takes to cut and onion or peel potatoes) so its all re-heats from the freezer during the week and pizza on Fridays (another tip stolen from the above thread). I have discovered frozen ready mashed potatoes, jars of sauce for bolognaise and even chopped frozen onions.

The slow cooker is amazing if you are in during the day and can throw stuff in at lunch time. I cook rice in the rice cooker (more revolutionary than it sounds, I used to ruin the rice because a nappy needed changing or i would put the rice on but not get dinner on in time).

I also always have a meal in the freezer, fish fingers, chips and frozen veg. If it all goes completely wrong I can fall back on that.

Best mantra on some days is 'All fed, none dead', this allows you to put them to bed un-bathed. I have wet wiped muddy feet before and packed them all off to bed because I was simply exhausted.

...sorry I have rambled on rather! It does get easier (in some ways) as they get bigger, 3 of mine are now big enough to be thrown out into the garden for the morning and can dress and feed themselves (and are potty trained) which makes thing much less arduous.

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

There are some good tips. It would depend on how you work. I have done the 'walk round each room and father rubbish, cups , washing' etc only to find the room is never fully clean. Then I tried the one room at a time, so would not leave the kitchen to do something else until it was done. - this makes me feel better! As does a tidy living room when kids are in bed. Quick tidy up before daddy gets home works aswel

[withalittlebitofluck]

Thanks all some great tips. I reliese that things will never be tidy but I would like things to look non toy cluttered... If that makes sense. Thanks all.

Hooked I am going to take on your mantra... All fed none dead!

[ThatBloodyWoman]

Every so often I take time to just step back and evaluate whether what we do is the best way to do things.
Sometimes we get so stuck in a rut,we can't see the trees for the wood.
Perhaps there's a time of day where it'd be better to do something.
Or perhaps its better to ignore the day by day mess in the living room,just do a mass tidy at weekends,and instead spend that tidying up time doing something else.
With little kids,sniffing and/or inspecting clothes is quicker than washing everything uneccessarily.
If children aren't crawling,putting things in their mouths,sometimes its more important to do surfaces than floors.

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Also, I always had a bag packed, spare clothes dummies etc in the car, I'd get up, look round, think sod it! Head out for the day. The thing with house work is that weather you so it today or tomorrow it's still yours to do. Its not like you're leaving it for anyone lease is it?

[Littlef00t]

With washing I found having lower standards and letting things be worn when they were slightly dirty or stained really cut down on overall washing.

Dd wears her pyjamas for quite a few days even though they have a bit of breakfast down them, because no one sees them and the stain/dirt isn't hurting anyone.

I'll have a t shirt and trousers I'll wear after work all week because it's only on for a few hours in the evening.