Baby ignores me :-((6 Posts)
I'm probably being stupid but it's really bugging me that my 10 month old DS doesn't seem bothered that I've been away from him. I went back to work when he was 9 months and he'd been at nursery a couple of days a week getting used to it and then went 4 days. When I pick him up he wants to come to me but doesn't smile or seem happy to see me. I put it down to tiredness but felt bad about it. We decided to get a part time nanny to reduce the amount of time he had to go to nursery but when I first came home from work on a nanny day he totally ignored me at first - not even turning around at the sound of my voice for the first time in his life. He smiled and played with me eventually but I couldn't belive he wouldn't turn round to look at me even though I called his name over and over. It's never happened before! Sigh. I have to work but I feel like it's ruining my relationship with him. Will he grow out of it? I'm also pregnant with number 2. Worried that will make things even worse. When I'm home with him our relationship is lovely and he's quite clingy. He just doesn't seem to care that I've gone when I go away or that I'm back. Am I overthinking it? Thanks. X
I'm sure any mum would feel the same but yes you are over thinking it. He's obviously trusts that you will come back to him which is wonderful and he's probably content playing. If he didn't trust that you would be home then he would be whinging for mummy all day and then it would be a huge relief and all smiles when he did see you. I would just take it as he's comfortable with his routine and doesn't feel insecure that you won't come back. And like you said you have a wonderful relationship and he can be clingy so don't over think it. I imagine we all picture them to be ecstatic to see us after being away a few hours but we can still dream! xx
I honestly think you are overthinking it. When I got a nanny, my then-tiny DS used to gently push me out of the room so that he could have her to himself. (She was fantastic.) This is EXACTLY how it should be, and made me feel much happier about leaving him when I went to work. He's now 13, and our relationship couldn't be stronger.
You sound like you have a very settled, happy baby who feels entirely secure about your love for him. I wouldn't worry.
My 14mo DS is similar to this. I only work 2 days a week and only short days/from homeand he does to my mum on those days and frankly acts as though he couldn't care less. On the other hand my DH who works FT and long hours, so he doesn't always see DS every day, he screams for as soon as he leaves the room even on weekends. I truly believe it's because he is secure in his attachment with me and knows I'm always there and will come back soon, whereas when DH leaves he never knows if he will see him again that day. Try not to take it personally. It is hard though.
Thanks very much everyone. It's really good to hear it from poeple who aren't family (who just say 'of course he loves you!') and get some perspective. I am happy he's independent and relaxed, of course, so if that's all it is then great. I just really hope the boys adore their mums thing happens for us! Never occurred to me it wouldn't but now I'm thinking how hard that would be! X
I would be pleased as others have said. Some babies are clingey some are not. When I was pregnant with 2nd my 1st got really upset everytime I left him at nursery, but now 5 months in he's calmed down. They go through phases of this as they grow. Don't be upset, they still love you and depend on you :-)
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