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Help - we need to get 30 month old's behaviour back on track - what are your favourite strategies please?!

(4 Posts)
uppereastsidemom Mon 10-Aug-15 02:01:37

So DD1's behaviour has got really pants recently. She had a massive tantrum today in a restaurant leading to us having to leave in a hurry, which was just not on.

We have had a lot of change recently (moved country, new baby, the whole gamut) and I am now a SAHM, where she would previously been in full-time nursery. I have certainly been guilty of not paying her as much attention as I would have liked since the arrival of DD2, but DD2 is now a bit older so it is time to get back to normal.

In addition DH is around a lot more at weekends now - we previously would have both worked long hours and done a lot of 'shift' parenting individually, so we're finding that having to be consistent and united together is quite challenging!

The main issues are getting her to follow instructions e.g. don't go into the sandpit etc; and dealing with her testing us and pushing boundaries. For example, today we were on a train and she wanted to get out of her buggy onto a seat (there were no seats free) so she threw a massive tantrum. Then a man stood up to let her have his seat - it was completely mortifying.

I feel as though I need a consistent approach that both DH and I can both use and that can be implemented out and about, as we spend a lot of time out, so the naughty step won't work. She responded well to a star chart for potty training, but I want something to stop bad behaviour rather than just rewarding good behaviour as we try to do that anyway. A friend whispers 1...2... at her DD which seems to work a treat but I'm not sure what the premise is? I don't have time to trawl the parenting books / websites, so any tips?! Thanks in advance!

LucyBabs Mon 10-Aug-15 02:16:08

Is 30 months a 2 and a half year old? ( bad at maths)

My ds has been full on hard work since birth!

He is almost 4 now. We went through hitting, kicking, biting us and his older sister.

He loved his tantrums, he was a pro. All I said when he mis behaved as a two year old was a very firm NO
Each and every time he did something bold. He did eventually stop.
Then a year later it started again. We could reason a bit more with him. He understood consequences by 3 and a half.

Recently it may be boredom (school holidays) he has started hitting me and dd again.
Yesterday he slapped me hard enough to hurt me and... I hit him back.. Now I slapped his hand but he understood why. I explained I hit him back to show him how it makes someone else feel.

This won't be everyone s approach. I don't slap my dc as it actually teaches them nothing.

Sorry for rambling and hope this helps smile

uppereastsidemom Mon 10-Aug-15 02:41:50

Sorry yes 2.5.

Slapping isn't for me but thanks for the reply. Actually what shocked me today was that DH mentioned slapping DD to get her to stop tantruming, so I realised that we need a new approach badly...

LucyBabs Mon 10-Aug-15 02:51:02

No sorry didn't mean slapping as a way of "controlling" tantrums blush

I meant an older child can under stand when they cause pain or hurt to someone else by their actions.

For your dcs age i suggested a very firm NO which helped us

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