Would you use a wedding creche?

[ApplesTheHare]

My friend seems to really want me to use her wedding creche. DD will have just turned 1 but won't have started nursery yet. The creche runs from 5-9pm, and friend keeps saying 'there will be activities' when all DD will want is to have her tea, doss in front of cbbies and then crash out after some milk with her yucky beloved dummy.

Anyway, I told my friend months ago that I didn't think it would work out for dd and she keeps asking. Am I being really pfb about it...?

[swallowed]

No, I do t think they work.

My friend suggested I use one when pfb was 5 months old. No way would she have been happy to have been left with a stranger.

Now that she's 2 it would be no easier. I'm not going to leave her in a room with a total stranger. If we're at a wedding than its a family event and either I want her spending time with the family or, if she's too tired, in bed. In any case she'd go bonkers knowing I was in the next room but she wasn't allowed to see me.

YANBU.

[Fluffy24]

Is she worried you won't be able to attend otherwise?

[Fluffy24]

YANBU BTW - I wouldn't as it's one thing to keep LO up past bedtime to spend time with family but not to participate in activities in a creche.

[Iggly]

Does she have kids?

[Boosiehs]

I would use it. But probs because all he other kids would keep DS entertained.

[Pico2]

I'd let my 4yo use one if she wanted to, but unless she knew other children I doubt she would choose to. I wouldn't leave my baby with a stranger.

[Flisspaps]

I wouldn't have done with either of mine.

They were both like Cinderella's pumpkins and HAD to be at home in bed by 7pm otherwise all hell broke loose and I ended up with a screeching child and was unable to enjoy the event anyway. They wouldn't have played/chilled/settled in a crèche/gone to sleep in a pram etc.

I ended up going home very early for a couple of years which meant others weren't subjected to my children howling.

[53rdAndBird]

No. Mine would have howled the place down. Older kids, maybe, depending on the child, but at that age the only activities involved would have been Pass The Frantic, Freaked-Out, Overtired Screaming Baby.

[DeladionInch]

Ds had a wonderful time, but he was 2.5. At 1 I think he'd have hated it

[Vatersay]

No and certainly not at 1yo.

I assume she's desperate for you to use it as she's paid for it.

[LizardBreath]

My friend had one of these at her wedding. Several parents didn't want to leave children, didn't think children would settle. Every single one absolutely loved it and stayed with no fuss the whole time. Not to mention parents who didn't want to leave them also changed their mind within 15 mins of bored / fussy kids.

[ApplesTheHare]

I don't really know why she wants people to use it. She seems very keen though! I'm wondering if she doesn't want the speeches interrupted? I'm a bridesmaid so I've made it clear that DD will be cared for by Daddy on the day so I can celebrate properly. She doesn't have any kids and keeps saying she thinks the creche will be brill for the chilled out kids but appreciates it might 'not work for the highly-strung' ones. My DD is laid back but she's still a baby Friend keeps bringing it up so I'd started to think maybe I was being precious! If I had a couple of older kids I'd probably go for it but to bin a lone 1-year-old off with strangers seems a bit much!

[ApplesTheHare]

Thanks for everyone's perspectives btw, I've over-thought it and have no perspective any more.

Lizard how old were the kids?

[MI6Agent]

She can be prepared to pay at least £400

I looked in to it and it was very expensive. I instead opted for Elsa and Anna to visit at a cost of £70. 90 minutes entertainment right there

[swallowed]

Wow my DD would LOVE that MI6!!

[Passmethecrisps]

Before I had kids I would have thought that this was genius and anyone who didn't use it was a bit PFB.

Having a child now I am not sure about the sense of it. We left my 18 mo with a baby sitter in a hotel in our room while we attended an event. She was in bed though and was all relaxed in a dark room.

At close to 3 I think she would enjoy the Crèche but it would be a bit hit and miss. One day she would run in and have a ball. Another she was weep and wail wanting me.

You know your dd and what is likely to work

[Bedsheets4knickers]

I think a year old may like it for 1-2 hours but until 9pm no way. You could use it for as long as seems ok by your child. You've met the bride half way but baby's needs come first and when it's time to go it's time to go x

[Couldashouldawoulda]

I wouldn't leave my babies with a stranger; wouldn't be happy to. They'd melt down anyway, esp at such a young age and that time of day/night. It might work for more outgoing or older kids than mine, I suppose. They'd be much happier with their dad IMHO. Even then, once they get tired, that's it.

[BuyMeAPony]

It seems like she wants to be sure your DD won't be in the main room during that time. So if your DH is ok to make sure she won't be or will be completely silent then don't use the crèche.

[LizardBreath]

They were from babies that were under 1 up to 7/8 year olds id say? There were a lot of helpers and they had their own children's tea and party together. There was a quiet area for babies, with specific helpers and then all other ages were together, it was really good! The room with them in was just off the main room and there was cctv playing on screens outside so you could see what was going on without going in. If parents had wanted to not go to breakfast and stay with kids in other area they could have done so, but all put them in crèche.

Several of my friends had stated (to me-not the bride!) that they wouldn't use it but everyone did in the day and there were no problems at all.

[Christelle2207]

I doubt mine would be ok with this. If I had to I would take them, stay a little while and see if they were ok before leaving. However when I got married I thought about organising one of these and not having kids at the time probably would not have considered why people would not want to use it. People who don't have kids may not get why you don't fancy if but you may have to spell it out to them and risk coming across a bit pfb which you wouldn't be.

[elelfrance]

DD had serious separation anxiety at that age, there would've been no way in hell she'd have stayed with a group of kids and an adult that she didn't know, me or her dad (or a granny or an auntie) would've had to stay with her.

[ch1134]

You know best.

[ApplesTheHare]

Thanks everyone. I'm not going to use the creche. You have to book well in advance so they can bring the right number of staff to get the ratio right, and based on how DD is now, at that time of day it's not right for her. I'm also thinking that of she needs to go out for the speeches then me and DH can just take her and won't have to sit through them all anyway!

[Lilipot15]

I think you've made the right decision. At 1 year old, separation anxiety likely to be a big issue for her.