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Bad mum and eating

(11 Posts)
Firsttimemum84 Sat 25-Jul-15 08:41:01

Hi

I have a 2 yr old DS amd meal times are becoming a battle ground. He won't eat anything normally without cajoling, silly games etc. It then normally starts with me removing him from the table to sit on the floor for some time out but invariably I find myself getting so stressed out by it all and his wilfulness (can't think of a better word for it) that I end up shouting. Then he cries and I cry and it is all hopeless! Please help-hate being someone who loses control and shouts, not the parent I want to be.

BlueThursday Sat 25-Jul-15 09:43:39

I have friends who now let their DCs "eat on the go"

They put the food on a small table and let the children go back and forward to it. They know eventually proper table eating will be required but for the moment it works

mumofboyo Sat 25-Jul-15 10:23:23

What worked for me was just leaving my dd to it. I'd make her (them - I have an older ds too) a meal, put it on the table and then get on with other jobs around the kitchen, more or less completely ignoring her whilst she ate; then, after around 20 minutes, I would just take it away. It took about a week for it to work because she was so used to meal times being stress times that she didn't want to settle at the table. I didn't offer any snacks or anything in between meals for those few days either, to make sure she was hungry enough for dinner. I also avoided going down the route of only offering what I knew she liked; I gave her the stuff we had a problem with too (curry, stew etc) because I like them and so do ds and dh and I didn't want to limit all of our meals for the sake of one fussy toddler.

This is what worked for me; of course it may not work for you. I think the important thing is to distance yourself from her a little at mealtimes and she might relax a bit more into eating them. Failing that, could you get help from your health visitor?

mumofboyo Sat 25-Jul-15 10:23:43

*him sorry

NoraRobertsismyguiltypleasure Sat 25-Jul-15 10:29:59

You are not a bad Mum, but you do need to relax around mealtimes. It sounds like it has just become a power struggle. Try making snacky meals that you put out on the table and allow him to choose what he would like to eat. If he says he has had enough, say that's fine and let him get down. If he has not eaten much and is then hungry an hour later tell him he needs to wait until the next meal (maybe bring it forward a little) and then do the same the next time. Let him have some control.

Pumpkinette Sat 25-Jul-15 12:34:18

I second the leave them to it approach. Meal times used to be a battle but now we just put it on the table and let her get on with it. The only times we have any issues now is if we all sit at the table together to eat so we avoid that now for the most part.

Firsttimemum84 Sat 25-Jul-15 17:43:56

Thanks all for your helpful comments, think I will give the leave them to it approach a go. Can't be worse than it is at the momentgrin grin Just another thing, any advice on how to deal with 'naughty' behaviour such as throwing food on the floor, upending plates, pouring water etc. Is the age old 'just ignore it' the best policy do you all think?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 25-Jul-15 17:58:29

Put everything on your plate and tuck in yourself, I bet suddenly food will become interesting once you've backed off and stopped the battlingwink

purplemurple1 Sat 25-Jul-15 18:06:58

We all eat together the toddler tends to come and go but now his sister is eating he is much more interested in his food and hers. Once the adults are done the meal is cleared away.
Thrown food etc he is told off (stern voice no shouting) and has to clear up his mess (obv we help but he fetches the cloth, brush etc takes things to the bin). We don't timeout for that type of thing but its rare for us anyway.

TravellingToad Sat 25-Jul-15 18:14:57

Stop the battle. Seriously. There is no such thing as picky eaters in the third world. Healthy toddlers don't starve themselves to death either. I provide the food, without comment. If they don't want it they can get down. But with no snacks offered (lots of distraction until next meal) they then get hungry and the next meal they wolf down.

Never play games or trick him into eating. He's either hungry or he isn't.

Firsttimemum84 Sun 26-Jul-15 02:24:51

Thank you all for your messages. Am going to try this all tomorrow morning. Wish me luck.wink wink

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