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Do you still play with your children once they play together?

(15 Posts)
Changeling2015 Sun 19-Jul-15 22:30:52

I'm asking this because for the first 3 years of my PFB's life I played with her every day for hours. Once her sibling came along, I was still her playmate for a long time.

Then once her sister got older we often all played together, playing with dolls, role play, chases round the house etc, sometimes orchard games.

Now my two will go off and play together and don't need/want me around so much. At one level it's great as for 7 years I don't think I ever sat down to read a book or look at the computer in the day without a child swinging round my neck or taking over on the computer. At another level I feel slightly guilty like I'm now neglecting them ( I do of course bring in snacks, help them with things as and when they ask and usually make time in the day to sit and draw/colour with them).

However, I'm wondering whether I should be doing more to try to play with them or is it normal to let them do their own thing as they get older. I certainly can't remember my mum playing with me though I do remember playing with my sister. I just don't want to have this big regret when they are older that I should have done more. I did loads until eldest reached 6 (youngest 3) but just wondered what other people did as their children got older and whether it matters as long as they are enjoying themselves.

Keepsmiling1 Mon 20-Jul-15 10:31:07

My eldest DD has just turned 4 and her sister is almost 4 months. I have to admit I'm really looking forward to when they can play together! At the moment DD1 likes us to play with her although she will play by herself sometimes. I think you've done your job and should sit back and have a rest! There will be things she needs your help with but enjoy the time she wants to play with her sister!

LateDay Mon 20-Jul-15 10:33:57

Mine are nearly 2 and nearly 4. They've been paying together for ages now and I hardly play with them. I used to feel guilty, but I got over it quickly. grin

They seem to fight just as much as they play though.

mumofboyo Mon 20-Jul-15 10:58:39

Mine are 4 and nearly 3. They play together brilliantly and I just leave them to it. I have done so since the youngest was old enough to join the eldest's games. They do argue, which does my head in, but mostly they are lovely with each other. It's great because I can get on with jobs around the house or read mn or facebook without being pestered. They know where to find me if they need me and I do join in some of their games and read with them etc.

Roseybee10 Mon 20-Jul-15 11:57:57

My two year old dd has always seemed to prefer to play on her own. She gets annoyed with me if I try to join in most of the time. I feel really guilty. She loved playing with other kids. I feel like I've done something wrong.
I think it comes from being pregnant from when she was 18months to just over 2 as I had terrible nausea and exhaustion through most of it and didn't have much energy to play with her so she just taught herself to get on with it.

Changeling2015 Mon 20-Jul-15 21:10:46

Thanks everyone . I appreciate you taking time to respond. Yes I am enjoying the chance to do things around the house, put my feet up occasionally. It's just really strange to get used to it after so long.

toomuchtooold Mon 20-Jul-15 21:34:05

I sometimes ask myself this. After 3 years of people telling me about my twins "oh that's so nice, they'll play together" and me laughing mirthlessly and returning to stopping them from bopping each other on the head, they do now finally play with each other a lot and I sometimes feel a bit guilty if I've ignored them for a while. But as long as they're happy, I think it's fine, and actually very positive that they can go off and interact and invent their own games. And they do come back to me and sit and cuddle while we watch TV or read.

A question for everyone: how much do you get involved when they're fighting? I tend to intervene if one starts crying or if it looks like it's going to come to blows. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing in intervening when they cry though as I worry I'm training them to cry for attention.

BlueChampagne Tue 21-Jul-15 13:06:43

They are learning to amuse themselves and beginning to work out how to negotiate and compromise with each other - these are life skills so I'd let them get on with it!

There will be plenty of times when they want to do different things, and want you to play with them. You can always play or teach them a new board or card game if you want a break from drawing.

Re fighting, I tend to intervene if one of them comes to get me (they are 5 and nearly 8), but if it sounded serious I'd be on them!

Imlookingatboats Tue 21-Jul-15 14:25:05

No.

I didn't see my 3 for hours today. They're aged between 8 and 10.

Candlefairy101 Tue 21-Jul-15 15:13:34

I've just wrote a similar thread so I'm glad to come across yours!

Mine are just 5 and 12 months today, and the only thin they seem to need me for is good/drink/ change the TV channel lol xx

I also feel like I should be sat playing with them every time I see them together but I suppose I've just got to trust they'll ask me if they need me sad, I think like you I played with my oldest everyday all day and when my next came along it was a big change x

Changeling2015 Tue 21-Jul-15 21:53:37

Yes re the fighting, I'm never quite sure when to intervene. If I hear the youngest crying I do ask what's going on and my eldest will say "she's just pretending it's in the game" but my eldest can be quite controlling so I do need to check it is pretend. I'm trying not to intervene every time unless they are getting physical but it's hard.

toomuchtooold Thu 23-Jul-15 05:56:57

Sometimes DD1 will quickly say to DD2 "do it to me!" after she's done something that makes DD2 cry. DD1's a bit bigger so sometimes she hurts DD2 without meaning to. Luckily, they are starting to get really bored with me intervening so about half the time when I barrel in to investigate they're like [sniff] "I'm all right, I'm not crying"

BotBotticelli Thu 23-Jul-15 09:17:11

For anther perspective: I am 40 weeks pregnant with ds2 at the moment. Ds1 is 2.8yo.

I literally cannot wait until the baby and my son play together and I can sit on the sofa/read a newspaper again!!!!

When will this mythical age begin, I ask you?!? When the baby is around 2??

2 years and counting..,,,

Ds1 is very needy, play-wise and wants me to play endless imaginary games with his dinosaurs/trains/cars on the floor all the time. Can't wait for a break from it! (Disclaimer: more fed up with this than usual due to being 40 weeks pregnant and the size of a house!)

Changeling2015 Thu 23-Jul-15 20:36:14

It will happen nearer to 3 but when it does you won't believe it....and it will be wonderful and strange. Good luck with the new baby.

Imlookingatboats Fri 24-Jul-15 10:09:00

Bot, some of the funniest moments I can remember are when the kids start having their own little conversations.

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