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Toddler and newborn- how is it done??

(21 Posts)
Whoami24601 Mon 13-Jul-15 18:18:43

How do people get into a routine with 2 children? I've got DD (3.1) and DS (10weeks). I really want to start a daytime routine now. DS is starting to nap, rather than just sleep the days away,so I want to set up something to make sure he's getting enough sleep. The thing is he's struggling to sleep more than 5 minutes at a time as DD just won't be quiet and leave him alone! Am I going to have to start putting him upstairs? He feels a bit young for that to me, but I can't see another way hmm also how do people manage to implement a routine with a toddler to entertain? She's a boisterous one and gets bored if we're stuck in all day. Any advice/ tips welcome smile

LibrariesGaveUsPower Mon 13-Jul-15 18:23:43

You are right. You cannot realistically have a baby napping in a room where a child is playing (unless you get very lucky with both. Someone will be along shortly to say it is easy). Naps in other rooms, sling or out in the buggy.

A pattern to the day rather than a routine.

junemami Mon 13-Jul-15 18:37:52

Carrycot from pram in a travel cot has been the best thing we did - safe place to put baby down if you need to go to the loo etc too. Aside from that dc2 has had to slot in most days, though now at 5 mo definitely seems to need a long nap mid morning and mid afternoon + early evening. Walks to park in double pushchair/sling. Baby groups I can take both too, or library rhyme time. I've actually found I've adapted to no 2 than I did the first time round (not that it isn't really hard at times, it bloody is, but I find the eldest more difficult & think she would be even if we didn't have dc2)

crazytyke Mon 13-Jul-15 20:57:57

2.4 yr old and 3 month old here.

I definitely vote for getting the baby napping upstairs. I found I felt guilty for the baby not getting decent sleep downstairs, and always feeling like I was telling the toddler to be quiet. worst of all worlds.

I'm still working on long naps in the cot, but baby reliably goes down for a morning nap at 9ish which means toddler can have some quality time, or if we're getting ready to go out then at least I have chance to pack the bags etc. Apart from that I've found sling naps are best as can tend to toddler reasonably well at same time

crazytyke Mon 13-Jul-15 21:00:22

I would also suggest working towards a pattern rather than a routine.

my baby usually has 3 naps - 2 short (45 mins ish) and 1 long (1.5-2hrs) with 1.5hour awake periods between. The order of the naps varies frm day to day. When toddler at nursery I try make the middle nap the longest. on days like today when I was out with toddler the baby was a bit neglected until late afternoon when she got her 2 hours in the sling.

LittleBearPad Mon 13-Jul-15 21:01:22

No real routine here but DS tends to nap in the buggy (at home or out). We have no routine to speak of but we seem to survive.

Whoami24601 Mon 13-Jul-15 21:04:39

How did you get baby to sleep in the cot? He won't nap unless he's being held (though does go down v well at bedtime). He just screams and screams until I pick him up again! I'd love to be able to just put him down upstairs and get on with things, but I don't see how!

Whoami24601 Mon 13-Jul-15 21:09:57

Oh LittleBearPad the routine is as much for me as it is for DS! I find the chaos of newborns v stressful. I need to be able to plan my days around naptimes and feedtimes or I feel I may lose the plot!

grabaspoon Mon 13-Jul-15 21:11:04

I am aiming to do this with a 19 month and newborn

I am aiming to do breakfast at 7/8 then out the door at 9am (when the baby will nap) toddler can then do a group while little one sleeps or "plays". Feed the baby at 11 just before we walk home and baby can hopefully nap while older child has lunch and their nap. Baby awake again for feeds and can sleep again when we go out to groups (or a local walk) Then baby can nap while I sort tea or be fed then bath and bed.

knittingbee Mon 13-Jul-15 21:50:54

4yo and 13mo here.

We went/go for a pattern rather than routine here too. Usually outdoor activity in the morning, then lunch and nap for DC2 while DC1 and I have some CBeebies quiet time. After that we play together, then I start dinner.

Moreisnnogedag Mon 13-Jul-15 21:56:47

4 yr old and 12 week old. DS2 sleeps upstairs. Ds1 is fantastic with his little brother but cannot be quiet enough for a full nap (2-3 hrs).

Saying that though DS2 will just settle himself of to sleep (compared with ds1 who slept in my arms till he was six months). I'm not sure what I would have done if it was the other way around.

Lilipot15 Mon 13-Jul-15 21:59:26

Grabaspoon - I perused that routine too, then the shock of cluster feeding hit with DD2. Certainly we could do the morning routine, but she feeds so frequently in the afternoon and evening I need another pair of hands to help with my toddler to be able to keep on breastfeeding.
If you are planning to bottle feed I suspect that routine might be attainable but I swiftly decided it would be setting myself up to fail to even try it. Guess things may settle down, but at the moment I'm having to plan afternoon activities to accommodate for a baby feeding every hourish!

Sorry to rain on your parade but I can't see how the contented baby books fit in with early breastfeeding (although a friend of mine swears it is doable).

LittleBearPad Tue 14-Jul-15 01:16:04

Is GF living in the 50s. What's all the guff about daily shopping! And drop DC1 at nursery. Hahaha. Getting us all out the house by 10am is a success here.

uppereastsidemom Tue 14-Jul-15 03:14:24

2.6 year old and 10 week old here! Toddler was in childcare up to a few weeks ago when we moved country grin so it has been a big adjustment but luckily DD2 is a relaxed baby.

If toddler has no activities planned in the morning we go out for a walk first thing for DD2's first nap. Then home, feed for DD2 and quiet play for DD1. Get DD2 down for (what I hope will lengthen and become) lunchtime nap. Lunch with DD1 then she goes down for a nap (but I think is heading towards dropping it sad). DD2 usually up and fed before I wake DD1 from nap. Then out to the playground etc for a while and DD2 will have a nap in the sling while out. Home around 5 and will feed DD2; dinner for DD1 at 5.30 or 6pm. Bedtime is great at the moment as DH is able to come home to help - I bathe DD2 at 6.30 and settle her (usually takes till about 8pm) and DH looks after DD1 but I nip in to read her her stories and kiss goodnight.

When DH can't come home I bathe DD2 then DD1 straight after (she watches TV while waiting), then DD2 screams while I get DD1 ready for bed; DD1 generally hops into bed no bother, and doesn't want stories, as she gets fed up with all the racket....

If DD1 has activities during the late morning, DD1 usually just has two shorter naps in the sling instead of a lunchtime cot nap. But would have her first nap in the cot.

I have to admit, things were complete chaos until I read the GF book that grabaspoon mentioned blush. DD2 is EBF in case anyone was wondering.

grabaspoon Tue 14-Jul-15 07:06:24

I don't want this to descend into GF thread. I just think for sanity (mine and the children) I need a routine like this (toddler is almost in a routine like this (not a GF baby just fell into it as it is a typical toddler routine) and it would work well if newborn fitted alongside this. Baby feeding every 3 hours so hopefully this will all fit into the day.

Artandco Tue 14-Jul-15 07:19:03

We have smaller gap (1 year). So apart from an extra few naps I put both newborn and 1 year old onto same schedule in general.

So baby had extra am and pm nap. But otherwise they napped after lunch together, and ate same times, bathed same times, settled for bed same times. So if eldest ate breakfast, I would eat with him, and baby breastfed at same time whilst I ate. At next baby feed, ds1 would also have snack/ or breastfeed also.
Still do the same 5 years on with regards to same time feeding/ bedtime/ bathtime.

If baby was having nap indoors they napped in Same room as us either just on sheepskin rug, or in sling, or in pram. Eldest was able to keep relatively quiet as we would use those shorter nap times to read together, draw together, get play dough out, bake. So baby was fine to sleep with just general noise around, but probably would have woken to screaming and running around. They both slept together during longest nap of the day

Lilipot15 Tue 14-Jul-15 09:01:53

Not meaning to criticise anyone who has managed a GF routine - I would like mine to be like that!
Seriously, how have those of you who are BF managed it with the cluster feeding? Maybe I need to read the book again.
My baby is only 4 weeks, still feeding very frequently afternoon and evening, and seems refluxy at night.

Whoami24601 Tue 14-Jul-15 14:01:04

He napped in his cot grin it took about an hour of faffing to get 40 mins sleep, but it's a start! I managed to get a shower and feed me and DD in that time so better than nothing. Am going to stick to a bedtime routine- currently going up at 10 but going to try (gradually) to move it to 8 so I can get a few hour to myself in the evening. I think like PP say though a flexible routine is best. It's being able to put him down mainly that I'm worried about. A step in the right direction today grin

OneFlewOverTheMumsNest Tue 14-Jul-15 19:42:52

Dd2 only 3 weeks old but following for ideas.

Whoami24601 Tue 14-Jul-15 20:05:00

We've had another nap. 45 mins this time, but less time to get him down - about 30 mins I think grin He's been up there for a while now (about an hour) and quiet, but when I went up he wasn't asleep. I was just getting worried that I was never going to be able to put him down for a nap at all! We can work on timings later, but he doesn't seem to manage to stay awake for long (only about an hour between waking and going back to sleep). This could be due to exhaustion because he hasn't had a proper nap for weeks mind!

crazytyke Mon 20-Jul-15 22:11:09

I have a sleepyhead in the cot which really helps I think. dd snuggles hee face into the side the way she does my body

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