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supervised access causing trouble

(4 Posts)
chickenfuckingpox Sat 11-Jul-15 09:14:45

my boys have supervised access with there dad twice a week for three hours a time there have been a few problems with this my ex is very controlling and ive decided to go no contact with him unless its an emergency and via email any other time his parents are the supervisors

problem since ive gone no contact ive had his mom calling me trying to do the controlling thing like he did (his contact is from 4-7 he always rang to say they were coming over despite me telling them the times dont change just show up only call if the times change etc) i stopped her doing that then her husband borrowed my ex car so she rang me about that i told her i dont need to know this just pick the kids up as long as he is not in the car its not an issue they are pissed at this massively so the kids have been coming back with unexplained bruises i reported this to the health visitor who passed it on to the social worker and they want me to tell the social worker directly in future (we dont get along)

then there is the proclamation his mom collects/drops off the children and makes a proclamation on my doorstep like you didn't put a bib in the bag so i guess we will have to buy our own! (loudly enough for the street to hear) and his t-shirt was dirty you didn't send clean clothes (he was in clean clothing when i sent him) he has done a dirty nappy and we had to change it because it stank! we changed him and put one of our nappies on him today the money one was ridiculous she actually stepped back from my door and made sure my neighbour was watching thrust a huge envelope at me and proclaimed here is some money FOR THE BOYS (my daughter was standing right next to me) she is like the fucking town cryer half my street are out when they show up just to see the performance

they feed them food like cold sausages cheese and ham the last meal they had was cold sausage rolls and cold sausages chocolate cake and just general shit i also think they are giving him squash with additives he is sensitive too so to cause me more problems

they use suncream his fucking dad knows he is allergic to and ive told them too just so he can spend the night scratching

they constantly allow my eldest son to play on a console the entire time he is there knowing full well he needs time to wind down or i have difficulty getting him to sleep

they have told my eldest he is not to talk to me

they have also told him he can live with them and eat cake play on his console and see his daddy all the time if he misbehaves enough i will hit him and he can go there

im not going to hit him but my god he is acting like a shit to me and his sister and brother he is biting scratching screaming hitting we are all being affected by this im being consistent with punishments and insisting on real food not junk food etc he has just shoved his brother into a plastic box head first because he was trying to walk past him

the youngest couldn't get to sleep till gone ten the last time they went over there he is never like that at home

things were settled with the contact but since ive stopped talking to my ex it's escalated to all this

i really dont want to send them over next week i feel like i just get "my" son back and they shove him full of crap and turn him into a missile designed to hurt me his mouth towards me is awful you cant cook your nasty to me i hate you its your fault daddy cant come home he shouted at you which means YOU WERE WRONG you're being spiteful im not eating your food GET ME A DRINK NOW I SAID! NOW! YOU'RE LAZY! you lie you do you're a LIAR

his nan is "OCD" (apparently) my son picks up her traits easily and is sniffing his fingers constantly to make sure they are "clean"

i cant sleep my eldest son keeps climbing into bed with me as he is upset by all this youngest is jealous of this and joins in kicking and scratching at him to get him out the bed i remove them both then my eldest son is sobbing in his bed and sneaks back into mine later he is obviously not happy with this situation

i really dont want to send them next week

Meandmygirls2009 Sat 11-Jul-15 20:58:41

Oh no that sounds awful sad

Meandmygirls2009 Sun 12-Jul-15 12:48:17

Can you get advise from your health visitor or social services?

crazytyke Mon 20-Jul-15 13:26:36

The food and entertainment choices I think you just need to let go - it's 6 hours a week, not enough to significantly affect their diet or lives.

The general attitude is something you can clamp down on I think but again you have the vast vast majority of the time with them to do so.

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