Why you love being a parent :)(134 Posts)
After many months of discussion of the pros and cons of having children. DH and I have decided to 'casually try' for a little one.
I am super scared and unfortunately some threads on here don't make me feel any better!
So, please tell me what you enjoy about being a parent/what has made you smile today!
It is a very different kind of happiness. One in which you can be having the most awful time in all the world and everything feels like it falls to pieces and the next moment one of your children says or does something and you are the happiest you have ever felt. It's a roller coaster!
The best part though is their little faces and hands and feet and bodies and voices that you made !!! and just want to be constantly cuddling and squeezing forever.
And watching them grow up into real people that you genuinely enjoy just chatting to and spending time with. That's awesome too.
Well at the moment my ds is screaming and throwing a paddy because I won't let him watch another bloody episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Generally though children are lovely. My ds gives a lot of love and is adored by everyone, because he is usually a very happy toddler. Just not at the moment!
They are a lot of fun and create a lot of happiness in between making you want to tear hair out!
Being loved unconditionally.
The excitement I feel when it's time to pick them up after work.
The cute, sausagey arms and legs!
Watching them become indivdual people.
The cuddles and slobbery kisses.
Mine are now 16 and 18 and such good company! They've always been loving and affectionate and lots of fun. I've loved every stage, and we've managed to keep a social life going on as well.
Aw, this is nice! I know there are horror stories too but it's nice to read the positives.
clam, great to hear about maintaining a social life! If it happens for us I don't want it to change our lives in the all-consuming way. I'm worried about that and also the effect on my relationship with DH....
Well, most of our friends had children at around the same time as we did, so they were much of an age. So, we got into the habit of meeting up at someone's house with babies in tow, chuck them in travel cots if they were good sleepers (mine were, thankfully) or, whoever wasn't jiggling a baby on their shoulder, got the spuds out of the oven. Mil lived close by too, and the kids adored her and viewed her house as a second home, so that was useful for times we wanted to go out without kids.
It's not a popular view here on MN, but we didn't fully subscribe to the popular, "our world revolves around our kids" thing. Don't get me wrong, I love them to bits and they've had a pretty good run of things all-told, but at the end of the day, we were the grown ups and it was us in charge, so they had to fit round us too.
But if you over-think it, you'll never do it! And don't forget that people love to scare you with horror stories of how awful kids can be. I was terrified, when pregnant with ds1, that I was never again going to have an evening where one of us wasn't pacing up and down the sitting room with a screaming baby. When he arrived, he slept like a top! Dd was even better.
im a new parent and It's so bloody hard.
However,my 9 month old seeks me out and gives just me the best hugs I have ever had.
You feel love like you've never felt before. Yes it's hard but the crying and tantrums are easily out wayed by a single smile and a baby snuggling into you for comfort just melts your heart
To be honest I love it all. Except for nappies. Otherwise I wouldn't change a thing.
A little person with their own personality. .. even as a baby you see them develop and grow and learn. So exciting.
I agree with Running, it's hard work. And it will change your relationship, but for the better.
I'm sat listening to DS gurgle at DH whilst DH narrates changing his nappy and getting him ready for bed. Even at 16 weeks, just a smile from DS makes it all worthwhile, and seeing how DH is with him makes me love him in a completely new way
And don't necessarily believe all the doom mongers - even breastfeeding, DS has always been a good sleeper!
It is love like I never imagined. I can't explain it, and never got it until I had my girls.
It can be hard work but so is anything worth having. I hope it works out well for you both.
I was in the same position as you about 3.5 years ago. We now have two boys, 2.5 and 8 months. It's really hard work, especially after #2 arrived but I wouldn't swap back to our life before kids (at least not most of the time). Both of them have been / are SHIT sleepers, which is rough but you manage. This afternoon I and the older one were laughing fit to burst just because he was pointing out all the big bins as we walked through town - with an exaggerated "oh look mummy" - the best thing was that he knew it was funny!! I know it sounds like a really small thing but they just make you see things in a whole new way - well through the eyes of a child - and it's lovely!
My LO is not a good sleeper and is sick all the time and has loads of dirty nappies (despite being breastfed).
He is amazing and is smiles absolutely melt me.
There is a purpose to my life - I had a very full life before but now I NEED to be here and be healthy for my LB.
My relationship with DH is totally different (granted little one still only 15weeks) but I see him as even more amazing now he is A daddy.
Nobody posts the good stuff because they are in the moment or because no-one likes a show off or because the moments in themselves are enough but the great far outweighs the hard bits.
... We're trying for no. 2 despite para 1 above
My DD is 23mo and when she's poorly I love that all she wants is cuddles from me
despite wanting her dad at every other moment
I love watching her learn and grow. In just the past 2 weeks she's gone from taking a few hurried steps to walking down the street by herself, and she's always learning new words ("oh no gods sake!" ) which is amazing to see.
Thanks for all your posts It's nice to hear you all speak about the love you feel and that you DH are strong/stronger.
I generally have a happy life, with DH, family, friends and my hobbies but I do feel like there is something 'missing'. It's a weird feeling, I used to think it was because I had some unknown talent that I needed to find and that would make me satisfied (like playing the piano or something - I know that sounds odd!!) I never really feel strong emotions, like really happy or really sad, just ticking along feeling okay...... I do wonder if a little person will make me feel different in that sense.
Clam - if it happens for us I will take your outlook. I think there is still a bit of a taboo around being frank when it comes to parenting, that a little person arriving does not mean that the parents suddenly disappear as people and have to focus entirely on the baby.
wotamidoing - yes, that you have you 'in' jokes with one another!
Because my children are the nicest people I have ever met and I can't believe my luck that I get to live with my most favourite people in the world.
Sorry I don't have the link, but put 'this baby claire harrison' into YouTube.
Watching her little face light up when she makes a new discovery. Hearing her giggle. Seeing her excited about things and watching her chubby little legs toddle round the place and lovely cuddles. Having DD is the best thing ever and so much more fun than I expected!
Right now, listening to my 2 playing a game together happily, roaring laughing, using their imagination and DD telling DS what to do in a nice, older sisterly way. They are 8 and 6 and I am loving this stage.
The baby stage is very hard but my favourite memories are those of peaceful late night breastfeeds and lying on the sofa with a tiny baby asleep on top of me (--while I watched recordings I didn't get time to watch during the day--); watching them grow so fast and learn new skills; excitement at the little things like a snowfall, a train, an ambulance, another child interacting with them in the playground.
It does put pressure on your relationships, your life in general gets thrown up in the air sometimes, but it's worth it and in my experience your love and passion for your children and wanting the best for them is something that is a great bond between partners.
Because DS went to the shop with DP to get sweets the other day. Chose his favourite, and then said 'something for Mummy' and picked out what I like. He's just 2. I've asked DP if I can be buried with a very old bag of peanut M&Ms.
My son has spent a lot of today throwing a soft ball around and laughing hysterically at it. He has an amazing giggle. When I went to get him out of his cot after his nap he gave me the most beautiful smile, reached his arms out and clung to me. Don't get me wrong, at 18 months he is hard work but sometimes just thinking about him makes my chest ache with love.
-Everything is new and interesting to them so when you see the world through their eyes it becomes more interesting too.
-My son looks at me and we smile like we have a secret in joke. Oh my god.
-Everything he's learnt has been exciting (to me!)
Yes it's unimaginably hard and it makes your heart hurt like nothing else and it's bloody exhausting but it's also rewarding, exhilarating, mind blowing and hilarious.
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