Newborn feeding - am I stupid??(15 Posts)
Newborn daughter being formula fed, now a week old and seems to have fallen in the pattern of feeding 10-30ml every hour at least. Rarely takes a 'big' feed, only 60/70ml at most. Keeping us up all night so feel very emotional and like the worst mum ever right now. This situation occurred when I read in my baby book to feed on demand and that newborns only cry for a feed. How do I get into a routine of feeding very 3-4 hours larger amounts?
I'm not an expert on formula, but newborns have tiny tummies and they need feeding little and often. You are responding to your newborn's needs - that makes you a great mum, although I appreciate sleep deprivation can make it hard to feel that way!
I'm sure someone who knows more about it will come along soon, but at a week old, it all sounds pretty normal to me.
Firstly, you are definitely not stupid! The amounts sound about right from memory (I FF DS). Have you tried giving her a small amount, giving her a 5 min wind break then seeing if she wants a little bit more? Effectively taking a little more time to feed but it may help? You probably have but thought it's worth a try! As the pp says, at this stage they do need little and often so I very much doubt it will be like this for very long.
Sleep deprivation is awful but hopefully it won't be long before you get a decent stretch. I remember being chuffed at 4 hours straight
Hi, my lo was like this when he was a newborn - fed tiny amounts every 1-2 hours even through the night - it was a nightmare ... but slowly slowly he started taking a bit more and by a month old we'd got to 3-4 hours between feeds, and by 4 months he was sleeping 10 hours straight at night.
I know this isn't much comfort right now ( the first few weeks I honestly thought he'd feed like that forever and I would never sleep again ) but just carry on with what ur doing, feeding on demand is the best thing for them, try and ignore the housework ( and random people's advice - I had someone tell me when my DS was 3 days old that I was spoiling him and shouldn't feed on demand as he needed to " get with your schedule" )and sleep when the baby does and most importantly remember that it will pass.
Good luck and congratulations on your new baby.
Newbors have a tummy the size of a walnut if I recall correctly, at a week old they feed tiny amounts very often. Completely normal!
You are not a failure, newborns' tummies are teeny tiny at this age and empty quickly so little and often is totally normal at this age and for the coming weeks whether bf or ff.
3-4 hrs is a long time to go without food or a drink (I definitely drink more frequently than this). I advise to go with your instincts and offer a feed when baby cries/feed in demand, feeding to a schedule you try to impose will invariably lead to lots of tears - yours and your baby's. Longer stretches will likely naturally emerge in the coming weeks. Must follow your baby's lead and you can't go wrong. S
Just a suggestion, but are you sure your DD is hungry after only 1 hour and may actually just be looking to suckle to sooth herself? If you tried giving her a dummy and she's happy /settles then might be not hungry at this 1 hour mar. If she's not happy she may be hungry.
My dd fed every 2 / 2.5 hours and I tortured myself that I was doing something wrong as all the books said 3 hours. Nope, she just was hungry and had a voracious appetite.
At your DDs age 60/70 ml in one feed is really good! Her tummy is tiny and that'll be the most she could probably have at one time.
I relied on the baby whisperer - it really helped me out so if you need more guidance might be worth checking out her books.
Some baby's are "little and often" babies, just like some people. Mine was like this, though bf. Slowly and surely the feeds spaced out.
If you're knackered could your oh help with feeds?
As NotA says, I am definitely drinking more often than every 3 hours in this heat!
Mine was BF but didn't go more than 2 hours without a feed until she was about 4 months old.
Thanks everyone, my midwife said 3-4 hours should be how often she feeds so I've been so stressed thinking Ive been doing it all wrong I felt awful. I'm glad you all think it's normal
Oh good I am pleased! My dd had a strong sucking instinct so dummy was essential for her otherwise frankly I hadn't the first idea if she was hungry or just wanting to sleep but needed to suckle to do this. This meant for me and her dummy was real god send.
Re the 3 - 4 hour thing I'd say totally ignore it and go with your instincts. Not even once ever did my dd go 3 - 4 hours between feeds. It was always 2 / 2.5 hours but it took me several weeks to feel confident I was doing the 'right' thing when HC worker kept saying otherwise. I'd say if she's having 60 ml she's hungry and may just need replenishing often. If she's only having 10 ml then it's probably not food she wants but this is just based on my personal experiences, for what they're worth
Good luck! Enjoy these precious first days (even if you do feel a bit like a tired zombie!)
It's so hard not to get caught up on what mw or hv or books say. With my first, the mw at the hospital told me they would t let me leave unless dd was taking 1-2 Oz a feed and I ended up obsessed with how much she took.
Both my girls have been little and often feeders tbh. My younger dd wanted fed every 2 hours until about 3-4 weeks old. Thank god for the perfect prep. We just made a bottle and let her take what she wanted. She gradually extended to 3 hours at around 4 weeks and by 8 weeks she was every 4 hours.
The early days are so hard but it doesn't last forever and you're doing exactly the right thing feeding her little and often. It's so hard when you're in the moment but it will pass quickly I promise. X
You are not stupid! Similar to what Bobian123 said though - are you sure LO is hungry? Feeding every hr is quite a lot - think you'd only expect that of a prem.My two used to display hunger behaviour when they were windy - head-bobbing, rooting, crying - and like you I found myself feeding DD1 really frequently at first. So she would get windy, cry, so I would feed her again which made her more windy, cry more and I'd feed again etcetc. I soon realised that actually she needed a good winding. Once I figured that out, i would spend a good amount of time helping get her wind up, she'd settle then feed larger amounts at bigger intervals. DS did the same thing but I obviously learnt from DD and realised that it was wind, not hunger. Honestly, wind is such a pain in the butt at that age! I'm all for feeding on demand (why would anyone withhold food from a hungry baby?!) but I think when you're a new mum you're lead to believe that that means every time a child cries, they need a teat/nipple in their mouth which is not necessarily the case! So maybe try giving her a really good wind after feeds - and I mean wind, wind, wind! I also found Infacol great - it has a cumulative effect so the more you use it, the better it works.
Also, think back this week. Have you gone 4 hours in between having a drink / something to eat? 4 hours is a massive gap!
Congratulations on your baby. Enjoy the newborn smell
it wont be long before her cries change and you can recognise a very distinctive hungry cry! in the meantime, be assured her tummy is tiny right now
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