Leaving toddler overnight for first time - how much to tell her in advance?

[CityDweller]

We're planning on going away for night and leaving DD w/ my mum. DD will be nearly 2 yrs 5 mo and is very verbal/ understands pretty much everything you tell her. She's also going through a phase of being very attached to me as I'm 25 wks pregnant.

I'll be staying with my mum (w/ DD) for the week leading up to going away for the night w/ DH. How much should I tell DD in advance that I'll be away? I'll leave on Friday night after DD is asleep, and be back on Sunday afternoon... I'm worried she'll be really anxious/ sad/ upset to wake up on the Sat morning and just find me gone, but I also don't want to make a big fuss of saying goodbye to her at bedtime on the Friday night in case it makes her sleep poorly.

Any tips?

(p.s. I've left her plenty of times before with DH, when I've been away for work, for e.g., but this is the first time both of us are going away)

[princessvikki]

I would try to make it exiciting for her. Ask your mum to plan some of her favourite things to do , baking, crafts ect, say something like, mummy and daddy have to go away for the night but your going to stay with nana like a big girl and have lots of fun doing ..... And we'll be back soon and you can show us all the things you've been doing. Saying goodbye at bed time is probably a bad idea, can you leave a bit earlier and then just make it a quick bye have fun see you soon, and your mum can be ready with a distraction

[lexyloub]

I wouldn't build it up too much as she may then get over anxious about it. I'd just say on the Friday night that she's going to a fun day and night with nanny and grandad on the Saturday and you'll see her on Sunday and bring her a present and leave it at that. She'll be fine kids are very resilient.

[Roseybee10]

My dd loves the idea of a 'sleepover' so we talk about her having a girly sleep over with her gran and she loves it.

[CityDweller]

Good idea lexy, recently when she's been upset about me not being around I tell her she's having a 'special Daddy and DD day' (for e.g.) and she seems to like the idea of that. So I think saying at Friday bedtime that tomorrow she'll be having a 'special grandma and DD day' will at least mean that she's not too bereft when she wakes up and finds me gone. She loves my mum (although doesn't see her very often as she lives some distance), and she'll be used to being there as we will have already been there a week together, so that should help too.

I know she'll be fine, but I want to make it as easy as possible for my mum and don't want her to have to spend 36 hrs comforting DD!

[lexyloub]

I've realised that I miss my children a lot more than they miss me when they stay over at grandparents they're too busy being spoiled to miss me