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Parenting

Gentle/ Ap parenting but with lack of support

5 replies

littleraysofsunshine · 29/06/2015 22:22

How do you manage when family members just don't see how you want to parent? They instead stick by the way they were brought up.

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Lweji · 29/06/2015 22:26

Which family members?

When they are alone with the children? Or in your presence?

It's very hard to let go of your own instincts and ways of doing things, and children must also learn how to deal with different people and approaches.

So, I'd expect relatives to let me get on with it and follow my lead in my presence. When alone, just along as they don't do anything dangerous or that I'd consider bad for the children, I'd just let them get on with it. Having said that, I'd be likely to show them the advantages of my way, if that was the case.

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littleraysofsunshine · 29/06/2015 22:30

In laws, parents. Uncles etc. and with the whole stereotyping thing. Blue for boys,ooooh boyfriends ,if my four year old is friends with a boy) etc. really irritates me. Really does.

Or using ridiculous lack of empathy, or just really random stuff.

If they choose to have there hair down ( my miss four is such a free spirit, loves her long hippy hair! But a member will always try to put her hair up, as its "messy" and others will think so to. What!!!!!!?

I say... We don't care what others think of our appearance, be yourself!

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LittleBearPad · 29/06/2015 22:33

What have any of those got to do with AP?

None sound too problematic. Just ignore them.

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Lweji · 29/06/2015 22:47

Just keep standing your ground, gently and politely, but firmly.

But I think you need to look into yourself to see why you are irritated by their behaviour? Is it some sort of defence mechanism? Relax about it. You have different styles and approaches, but exposure to their different ways and how you react to them teaches your children a lot.

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littleraysofsunshine · 30/06/2015 07:07

The thing that bothers me is how I will resolve a situation by being empathetic. They will say "oh well you won't have sweets" no one will like you if you're moody or whinging.etc

Then it makes me wonder what it's like if they're watching them when I'm not there.

Undermining the way we do it. Our ways, little things we have in our routine etc. even when we are there