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DS hitting and throwing things when he is upset

(6 Posts)
mama1nenene Mon 29-Jun-15 10:39:03

my DS has taken to hitting and kicking me/things when he is angry or throwing object on the floor....like my phone or anything he can get a hold of.

I tell him him not to hit and then he hits some other object. I have tried getting down to his level and talking to him.walking away so that he doesnt feel that behaviour gets his attention and i have tried timeout....he is still doing it.

How do you discourougae/ stop this behaviour? He is 2.2 yrs.

do any one else dc do this or is it just mine?? Dont get me wrong...he is lovely most of the time :-).

holeinmyheart Mon 29-Jun-15 20:27:26

The thing is about a 2.2 year old is they can't actually explain what they are feeling about things. They just haven't got the maturity and insight or the vocabulary to explain their behaviour. They are just responding to the world they find themselves in, with raw emotion.
Their behaviour can seem bizarre if you accord adult understanding of the consequences to them.

So what to do to improve things? Because you can get to dislike them.

First of all, don't retaliate by behaving like them. You are the adult here and have to think that whatever you do, they will copy you and think it is a normal response.
So NO shouting. Shouting at a yelling frustrated baby in order to stop it yelling is a ineffective response

Try diversion strategies. For instance they want a ice cream. You say 'No' and they kick off yelling blue Murder. So take hold of them by the arms and say something like ' look over there, have you seen that big bird, it is looking at you! Be very theatrical. The same goes for throwing. Say sternly Throwing is naughty and it is not allowed. Then change the subject. If he is getting quite a response by throwing something then he is going to continue doing it. Dont respond except in a very calm and matter of fact way.

I find diversion strategies are the best with Two to five year olds.

It is very hard and tiring bringing up children but you are responsible for their emotional welfare. You have one go at bringing them up and giving them a stable and happy childhood.

The more patient you are with them and the more you are calm and respectful ( which is after all how you would like to be treated) the more you will get rewarded in shedloads, when they grow up.
Best of luck

mama1nenene Mon 29-Jun-15 20:44:39

Hi hole in my heart. Thank you so much for your response. It is much appreciated. I have tried the calm diversion thing and didnt feel like it was working so tried the naughty corner. I will definitely give the calm approach and diversion a try again. I have always tried not to respond with the aame behaviour i am trying to discourage as i think it is confusing to the kids.

Your response explained it all so nicely. So thank you.

Writerwannabe83 Tue 30-Jun-15 11:11:20

Watching with interest as my 15 month old is exactly the same and it's really difficult sad

holeinmyheart Tue 30-Jun-15 21:18:47

Thanks.
I am on holiday at the moment and there is a Mum with two children here.

All day long she whines and moans at her kids as in ' don't go in the pool' don't run as its slippy' she gets really worked up at the slightest infringement. They are all miserable. I have not seen her laugh with them once. She seems exasperated and annoyed with them all the time.

She then turns to me and says' my children are so difficult' but she actually doesn't give them a minutes peace.
I of course, say nothing.

But if you want the outcome to be quiet respectful children, you yourself have to be quiet, calm and respectful. It is so hard as you get so tired and feel like throttling them.

mama1nenene Fri 03-Jul-15 10:36:23

yeah it can be difficult...i guess the trick is trying to stay calm and manage it...i think sometimes we expect too much from the little ones...i feel guilty of doing that...expecting my ds to understand when i say something even though he is only 2...he doesnt understand the danger of things...shame...i do love parenting though..it is such an amazing journey and the best part is laughing and playing with the kids. I hope the mum realises this and takes some time out to enjoy the holiday with the kids. :-)

Hope you are having a good holiday.

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