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DS's best friend is moving away

(5 Posts)
EarSlaps Fri 26-Jun-15 21:57:35

I just found out that 5yo DS's joined-at-the-hip best friend is moving away sad. They are going to be moving about 40 minutes away, so they should still get to see each other but he won't be at school anymore.

I know DS will be absolutely devastated. They have been really close ever since they started school (they are now at the end of Year 1 but both summer borns) and they just click! DS does have other friends, including a couple of close ones, and plays with the other boys at school (but not girls- they are silly and only like princesses apparently hmm) but he has nobody he is as close to. When other friends come round it's always slightly tricky with lots of little fallings out, but with his best friend I never hear a peep, they just play so well together. He is just such a lovely little boy

DS is a slightly 'tricky' person- he's very highly strung, extremely stubborn and very anxious about lots of things so I am really worried about how he's going to cope with this. He's also prone to a lot of angry outbursts, especially when he's tired.

Can anyone offer any advice for how to support DS through this? I think it will be akin to a bereavement for him.

Lweji Fri 26-Jun-15 22:20:51

I'd be hoping for the best.
Children can be resilient and cope better with people leaving than we give them credit.

As for softening the blow, I would arrange to visit some weekends initially, and maybe arrange skype calls in between.

In addition, you could give him some chances to meet other children, particularly as the holidays approach.
As school is breaking, they probably wouldn't see each other so often during the holidays, so it is a good time to get used to it.

I'm sure he will be ok. He will probably either find another best friend, or adapt himself to playing with the other children. Nothing lasts very long at this age. Unlike for adults. smile

EarSlaps Fri 26-Jun-15 22:34:54

Thank you for the reassurance smile.

He has another couple of close friends (including one who regularly tells me that DS is one of his best friends) but they don't seem to share as many interests.

DS isn't really into sports, as a lot of the other boys are, and won't play football at break time in case he falls over and hurts himself hmm. Other friends are into computers or super heroes and they aren't really his cup of tea either. DS is a bit 'strange' - lots of people seem to know his name and are friendly with him, but he appears quite distant and stand-offish with people. I do wonder if this stems from undiagnosed hearing loss when he was younger or if this is just his way. He's also quite clingy with me.

I think we'll book him into a few different holiday clubs and have meet ups with various friends. I'm also really hoping that a place comes up at Beavers for him- we signed him up years ago but you never seem to get a response when you do so I'm hoping we made it on the waiting list!

Lweji Sat 27-Jun-15 00:11:44

Sounds a bit like DS. He often seems very aloof, and other kids sometimes say he is very quiet, but he has a group of friends at school and they are usually happy to see him and play with him.

At 5 he hardly gave attention to other children but was part of a small group of boys. A neighbour girl was always reaching out and he never gave her much attention (at least when I was around).

We moved countries and he soon found other friends.
I'm sure yours will be fine too. smile

EarSlaps Sat 27-Jun-15 07:10:55

Children and their social skills eh?!

I know ds's friend is going to be told this weekend so I'm not sure if we should tell DS or wait for his friend to tell him.

To complicate matters we are moving home too, but only locally. DS has been worried enough about that as he really hates change.

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