What's the best book for new mums?(17 Posts)
Just that really, am due my first in a few weeks and realised I know nothing about actually looking after a baby! Does anyone have any recommendations on books so I can gen up? Ideally I want something that covers everything!
Your baby week by week is useful - it tells you what your baby will do/need each week.
Apart from that, just wing it. 5 years in and I've not been found out yet
Your natural instincts will be more useful than any book will ever be. Just go with the flow, we all pretty much make it up as we go along!
What kind of things are you worried about?
I bought a few books but tbh I never really read them. I found trusting my own instinct worked much better and also asking for advice on forums.
The only trouble with a book that covers everything is that you are only going to get one perspective.
There is no 'right' way to do it as your baby might not need or want the same things as my baby for example.
You'll be surprised at how much you know instinctively when baby is here
I guess I'm thinking more practical things like what to put them in to sleep and best way to change a nappy. The basics really!
Your baby week by week is great. It was invaluable for me in the first couple of months. Anything by Miriam stoppard is also good. I found after about 3 months i stopped consulting books so much.
Honestly just follow your instincts. Babies don't read books, all you're going to get in books is one (more than likely childless) person's view and there is no guarantee your little one will 'conform' to these. Do you have friends, family you can ask how they did things?
Rule of thumb for sleep is they need one more layer than us.
I got a swaddle pod for mine for the early days from Argos which basically is a swaddle blanket with Velcro which was a life saver as I suck at swaddling.
During summer I would just do a vest and swaddle pod and possibly a cellular blanket depending on temperature (I'm in Scotland lol).
Now my four month old is in a sleeping bag.
Nappy changing is just always wipe from front to back and if it's a girl then you need to clean their wee lady bits coz poo gets stuck in the folds and creases.
Oh and if you're having a girl it's quite normal for them to have a tiny bit of blood in their nappy at a few days old due to hormones (like a period almost). Dd1 had this and hubby got such a shock when he changed her but someone had warned us about it thank god.
Never happened with dd2 but her nipples leaked for a few days.
There are two books that I would highly recommend.
One is "your baby week by week " as mentioned by a few others too. There is a couple of pages on each week about what to expect in terms of how much crying/sleeping /feeding etc.
it's not a parenting style /guide, it just tells you what to expect that particular week.
The other book which is brilliant on a practical level is "first time parent" by Lucy Atkins. It's a "how to swaddle/ how to put on a nappy/ what clothes should they be wearing / what's a normal bump/temperature/ when to call the doc" type book.
Practical basic info that will boost your confidence levels about coping.
First time parent!
A how to guide with no guilt/grand theories.
Though the return to work bit is rather personal/middle class ... All women hate the idea, why not get a naice home based job like writing instead of your city job that's soulless? Not very relatable if you have a career you believe in such as a caring profession (it assumes shallow office) or your income needs to be reliable and you can't just magically become a writer.
Dad's sharing in the role are treated as a novelty.
Loved the book up till that chapter, where I felt told how to feel and it was very sexist re dad (massive assumption he could/would not go part time, nor want more time with kids... that's how mums feel).
We also had 'first time parent' by Lucy Atkins - I really liked the common sense approach. One of my favourites said something along the lines of 'don't feel too guilty if you're in the loo/shower and they start crying - if they were a younger sibling you wouldn't always get to them instantly'.
Thanks very much all - I will definitely check these recommendations out!
I find Penelope Leach's "Your baby and child" very helpful. The newborn chapter is great then it has a separate "settled baby" chapter. It also covers everything up to age 5 so it is the type of thing you can dip in and out of to look for the answer to a specific question rather than having to read it all in one go.
What mothers do, especially when it looks like nothing.
Wish someone had given me this in the early days (when I had time to read while feeding). Just a nice book that sort of reinforces the theory of 'you'll muddle through, and it will be alright for the both of you'.
Just do what I did and come here every 5 minutes looking for help!
Couldn't have got through giving up expressing whilst DH was abroad without the support of MN.
Likely whatever scenario crops up someone here has experienced it
Despite not having managed to follow it at all (and in retrospect, being glad I didn't try very hard), I'd actually recommend reading the first chapter or two of Gina Ford's Contented Little Baby, just to get an idea of the newborn rhythm. Most people are really surprised that newborns need to sleep again so soon after waking, and even if you don't want to introduce a routine so early, knowing her timings can help you know when you REALLY need to help them to sleep, no matter how, so you can avoid an overtired baby.
Then to see the opposite approach, read the A-ha Parenting blog, which is all about gentle parenting. And read about the 4th trimester.
Then see what feels natural to you.
I had what to expect, the first 12 month and also wonder weeks. I like wonder weeks but it's not really about how to look after a baby. I normally look on the Internet.
The most frustrating thing I found was leaky nappies just remember to poke the fills out on the legs I didn't figure it out for ages and had lots of accidents as a result
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