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Parenting

When did you first leave baby?

28 replies

snarferson · 20/06/2015 16:49

This has probably been asked before but when did you first leave your baby?

My story is I've been invited on a night out next weekend to see a band but my baby will only be 6 weeks 5 days old. I really want to go as i like the music and had a horrendous pregnancy and never went anywhere but I am equally terrified of leaving her and feel full of guilt at the thought. She would be left for about 5 to 6 hours with FIL who adores her (we only have 2 parents left between us, FIL and DM who I would trust more in this situation but unfortunately has brain cancer so can't babysit) .

I don't know what to do. What would you all do? And what have people done in a similar situation?

OP posts:
struckwithindecision · 20/06/2015 16:52

I'd go and enjoy it if I was you.

Loulou2kent · 20/06/2015 17:01

Go out & have a good time. If your FIL adores her then I am sure he would be more than happy to take care of her for a little while Smile grandparents like to feel wanted & needed. Plus you deserve a night out. Don't feel guilty & you will probably really miss her & want to be home after a little while anyway!!

TopCivilServant · 20/06/2015 17:03

The only answer is to do what will make you happy. It sounds like you trust FIL to look after your baby so go and have fun!

snarferson · 20/06/2015 17:09

Thanks all. FIL is lovely I'm very lucky :)

There's just a niggle of worry and the thought I'd be a bad mum for leaving her that's at the back of my mind. Maybe I could ask him to text me every hour even if it makes me look like a crazy!

OP posts:
VenusVanDamme · 20/06/2015 17:14

Go!! We left DS with DM overnight when he was 7 weeks and everyone was fine.

madbunnygirl · 20/06/2015 17:16

Go and enjoy yourself! I saw Take That when my DD was 6 weeks 5 days and had a great time - and DH enjoyed having the evening with her without me faffing over her.

I was breastfeeding at the time too!

Charlette1 · 20/06/2015 17:17

I first left my "babies" between the ages of 2 and 2 1/2, they were exclusively breastfed and we had no family on hand to help out so it was difficult. Our third child is now 4 1/2 and we've had one night out since he was born.

Charlette1 · 20/06/2015 17:18

Oh that was 2 and 2 1/2 years not months.

CarlPoppaJaJiggyJarJardoo · 20/06/2015 17:21

I left my eldest over night when she was 9 days old.

Heels99 · 20/06/2015 17:21

Well my babies were in nicu so I had to get used to leaving them from the day they were born. So I was never really precious about it. I do think it's bonkers that people don't go out for years just because they have a child but each to their own. Can't remember when first left them for a social event.

CarlPoppaJaJiggyJarJardoo · 20/06/2015 17:22

I left her with my dad not by herselfGrin

ch1134 · 20/06/2015 17:43

It doesn't matter when anyone else left theirs. If you're ready it's ok. It varies so much. I first left mine to go to work when he was 6 months. Now he's 17 months and dh and I have had two nights out together so far.

snarferson · 20/06/2015 18:54

Thanks everyone. I know only I can decide what's right but it really helps talking to others. I know I'm probably being a bit PFB! After all FIL managed to raise 3 kids so should be able to handle mine Grin

OP posts:
Newtobecomingamum · 20/06/2015 19:04

Go and enjoy yourself!! You deserve it and baby will be fine :) X

VenusVanDamme · 20/06/2015 19:30

Heels - we were the same so wonder if that's why we left him quite quickly compared to others. He's 8 mo and we've had quite a few nights out and have a lot of weddings/birthdays in August so will be left then too!

Happyyellowcar · 20/06/2015 19:33

Absolutely go! At that age they don't really mind who they are with - when they get clingy at 7,8,9 months it can get harder (but still go)!

PiggyBeekman · 20/06/2015 19:37

6 days old. Went to a black tie charity dinner for a couple of hours with DH.
DD was EBF so I fed her before I left, then I set off back after the main course, she hadn't woken up. Was utterly lovely to get dolled up and out even just for a couple of hours.
No guilt whatsoever, and left DD overnight a few months later when I went on a girls weekend away. I love DD but I also love my child free nights Smile

guineapig1 · 20/06/2015 19:42

Yes absolutely go! Baby will be fine with your fil, have a lovely time, a break really does you good. Have fun!

guineapig1 · 20/06/2015 19:44

Sorry, just realised I hadn't answered the question. First left DC1 at 12 days with Pil as I had an urgent dental appointment. Between travelling, waiting and treatment was away for about 3 hours in total. It was fine.

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 20/06/2015 19:45

Em, about 5 weeks overnight. We went to a weeding hundreds of miles away. All was fine

Roseybee10 · 20/06/2015 22:44

About 4 weeks for a couple of hours with first dd. had been bought a spa afternoon and had to use it on my bday or would forfeit it. It was damn hard but I'm glad I did it as it was then easier to leave her later on.

I've left dd2 less because people don't want to babysit for two as much lol. So I'm glad I enjoyed a bit more freedom when I only had one.

X

skankingpiglet · 20/06/2015 22:50

I went to see a band when DD was about 2mo. She was in DHs care, I was gone about 5 hours. She was absolutely fine, although my poor engorged boobs were less so! Grin I really enjoyed the time off, even if I spent all my time talking about her!
She was 5 1/2mo when we first left her overnight with an amazing friend who'd offered her services. A lovely night away with DH dancing the soles off our shoes, and returned the next morning to hear them happily chatting away upstairs together. Again, she was fine and I had to immediately get the pump out!
So GO GO GO!!! She'll be absolutely fine, and you'll return remembering what it feels like to be you again Smile

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Postchildrenpregranny · 20/06/2015 22:53

DD2 6 weeks. Went 'home' for a school reunion . EBF too and no mobiles but was able to ring DM once during evening and she was asleep. Didn't stay long -was about 20min drive away-but was desperate to see people I hadn't seen for 20 years(one 'girl' I was at school with was already a grandmother , which was quite funny)
DD1 for the first time overnight when about 18 m to do some very lucrative work for an ex employer (I had to drive about 300 mile round trip too) She was fine with DH

lexyloub · 21/06/2015 05:39

Go out have fun Wine

snarferson · 21/06/2015 06:13

Thanks all. I'm going to go. Tickets bought Grin

OP posts:
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