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When did you first leave baby?

(29 Posts)
snarferson Sat 20-Jun-15 16:49:53

This has probably been asked before but when did you first leave your baby?

My story is I've been invited on a night out next weekend to see a band but my baby will only be 6 weeks 5 days old. I really want to go as i like the music and had a horrendous pregnancy and never went anywhere but I am equally terrified of leaving her and feel full of guilt at the thought. She would be left for about 5 to 6 hours with FIL who adores her (we only have 2 parents left between us, FIL and DM who I would trust more in this situation but unfortunately has brain cancer so can't babysit) .

I don't know what to do. What would you all do? And what have people done in a similar situation?

struckwithindecision Sat 20-Jun-15 16:52:22

I'd go and enjoy it if I was you.

Loulou2kent Sat 20-Jun-15 17:01:10

Go out & have a good time. If your FIL adores her then I am sure he would be more than happy to take care of her for a little while smile grandparents like to feel wanted & needed. Plus you deserve a night out. Don't feel guilty & you will probably really miss her & want to be home after a little while anyway!!

TopCivilServant Sat 20-Jun-15 17:03:05

The only answer is to do what will make you happy. It sounds like you trust FIL to look after your baby so go and have fun!

snarferson Sat 20-Jun-15 17:09:46

Thanks all. FIL is lovely I'm very lucky smile

There's just a niggle of worry and the thought I'd be a bad mum for leaving her that's at the back of my mind. Maybe I could ask him to text me every hour even if it makes me look like a crazy!

VenusVanDamme Sat 20-Jun-15 17:14:55

Go!! We left DS with DM overnight when he was 7 weeks and everyone was fine.

madbunnygirl Sat 20-Jun-15 17:16:54

Go and enjoy yourself! I saw Take That when my DD was 6 weeks 5 days and had a great time - and DH enjoyed having the evening with her without me faffing over her.

I was breastfeeding at the time too!

Charlette1 Sat 20-Jun-15 17:17:22

I first left my "babies" between the ages of 2 and 2 1/2, they were exclusively breastfed and we had no family on hand to help out so it was difficult. Our third child is now 4 1/2 and we've had one night out since he was born.

Charlette1 Sat 20-Jun-15 17:18:20

Oh that was 2 and 2 1/2 years not months.

CarlPoppaJaJiggyJarJardoo Sat 20-Jun-15 17:21:46

I left my eldest over night when she was 9 days old.

Heels99 Sat 20-Jun-15 17:21:55

Well my babies were in nicu so I had to get used to leaving them from the day they were born. So I was never really precious about it. I do think it's bonkers that people don't go out for years just because they have a child but each to their own. Can't remember when first left them for a social event.

CarlPoppaJaJiggyJarJardoo Sat 20-Jun-15 17:22:43

I left her with my dad not by herselfgrin

ch1134 Sat 20-Jun-15 17:43:36

It doesn't matter when anyone else left theirs. If you're ready it's ok. It varies so much. I first left mine to go to work when he was 6 months. Now he's 17 months and dh and I have had two nights out together so far.

snarferson Sat 20-Jun-15 18:54:14

Thanks everyone. I know only I can decide what's right but it really helps talking to others. I know I'm probably being a bit PFB! After all FIL managed to raise 3 kids so should be able to handle mine grin

Newtobecomingamum Sat 20-Jun-15 19:04:49

Go and enjoy yourself!! You deserve it and baby will be fine smile X

VenusVanDamme Sat 20-Jun-15 19:30:02

Heels - we were the same so wonder if that's why we left him quite quickly compared to others. He's 8 mo and we've had quite a few nights out and have a lot of weddings/birthdays in August so will be left then too!

Happyyellowcar Sat 20-Jun-15 19:33:33

Absolutely go! At that age they don't really mind who they are with - when they get clingy at 7,8,9 months it can get harder (but still go)!

PiggyBeekman Sat 20-Jun-15 19:37:25

6 days old. Went to a black tie charity dinner for a couple of hours with DH.
DD was EBF so I fed her before I left, then I set off back after the main course, she hadn't woken up. Was utterly lovely to get dolled up and out even just for a couple of hours.
No guilt whatsoever, and left DD overnight a few months later when I went on a girls weekend away. I love DD but I also love my child free nights smile

guineapig1 Sat 20-Jun-15 19:42:49

Yes absolutely go! Baby will be fine with your fil, have a lovely time, a break really does you good. Have fun!

guineapig1 Sat 20-Jun-15 19:44:52

Sorry, just realised I hadn't answered the question. First left DC1 at 12 days with Pil as I had an urgent dental appointment. Between travelling, waiting and treatment was away for about 3 hours in total. It was fine.

SqueezyCheeseWeasel Sat 20-Jun-15 19:45:56

Em, about 5 weeks overnight. We went to a weeding hundreds of miles away. All was fine

Roseybee10 Sat 20-Jun-15 22:44:24

About 4 weeks for a couple of hours with first dd. had been bought a spa afternoon and had to use it on my bday or would forfeit it. It was damn hard but I'm glad I did it as it was then easier to leave her later on.

I've left dd2 less because people don't want to babysit for two as much lol. So I'm glad I enjoyed a bit more freedom when I only had one.


skankingpiglet Sat 20-Jun-15 22:50:00

I went to see a band when DD was about 2mo. She was in DHs care, I was gone about 5 hours. She was absolutely fine, although my poor engorged boobs were less so! grin I really enjoyed the time off, even if I spent all my time talking about her!
She was 5 1/2mo when we first left her overnight with an amazing friend who'd offered her services. A lovely night away with DH dancing the soles off our shoes, and returned the next morning to hear them happily chatting away upstairs together. Again, she was fine and I had to immediately get the pump out!
So GO GO GO!!! She'll be absolutely fine, and you'll return remembering what it feels like to be you again smile

Postchildrenpregranny Sat 20-Jun-15 22:53:34

DD2 6 weeks. Went 'home' for a school reunion . EBF too and no mobiles but was able to ring DM once during evening and she was asleep. Didn't stay long -was about 20min drive away-but was desperate to see people I hadn't seen for 20 years(one 'girl' I was at school with was already a grandmother , which was quite funny)
DD1 for the first time overnight when about 18 m to do some very lucrative work for an ex employer (I had to drive about 300 mile round trip too) She was fine with DH

lexyloub Sun 21-Jun-15 05:39:02

Go out have fun wine

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