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7yo very afraid of death

(5 Posts)
Meerka Fri 19-Jun-15 10:33:40

Our sensitive (if wild) 7yo is struggling a lot with the idea of death.

It started a few months ago, he was asking at least once a day most days about our old cat who died when he was about 2. I found pictures of the cat and talked to him and let him talk

Then it morphed into questions about what happens after you die, he wanted to go into a war cemetary that we passed. Said that different people believe different things, some people believe you come back via reincarnation, some people think you just end, some people believe you go to Heaven.

Then it became a real fear that he would eat something poisonous and die ... he was asking about everything he ate and everything in the house.

Now he's frightened rigid that he'll get a disease and die (a friend had Impetigo and we thought he had it as he had a rash, he was absolutely terrified).

It may be relevant that I had a very bad preg 2 years ago and nearly went out twice, both times he knew I was very ill indeed although (I hope) he doesnt realise it was nearly the end. I was also completely unable to do anything with him for 8 months due to HG.

He also knows that my adoptive mother died when I was a slightly older child, also that my biol. mother died 3 years ago.

We talk to him when he raises one of his various fears and listen. Tried reading him books (michael rosen's Sad Book, Badger's Parting Gifts) but he won't read them, they are too sad he says.

I was wondering if anyone else has had this with their children and how they dealt with it if so.

any suggestions gratefully received!

holeinmyheart Fri 19-Jun-15 21:51:18

If this is any use, the top notch Psychologist specialising in children who was recommended to Kate McCan ( when she asked for help with dealing with her remaining children, ) said, ' always be truthful with children.
So when they asked about Madelaine and presumably why Mummy was so sad, she always told the simple truth.
It seems like you are doing all the right things. You are being honest.

This phase will pass if you answer matter of factly.
My GC have had various obsessions and they all passed.

Meerka Fri 19-Jun-15 22:18:50

Thank you hole, that's reassuring.

mygrandchildrenrock Sat 20-Jun-15 17:26:59

Lots of children do go through a real phase of worrying about death, but I think it helps to say that most people don't die until they are very very old. I know that some people die way before then, and it sounds like your DS does too.
My mother died when I was born and a grandson only lived for a couple of weeks, so my own DC and DGC knew not everyone lives until a ripe old age but telling them that most people do did seem to reassure them.

Meerka Sun 21-Jun-15 11:48:35

He's been indirectly exposed to death, and he -is- sensitive and yeah, he really is worried.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother and your grandson.

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