Why is bedtime such a nightmare - just lost it as DD [sad]

[benandhollyonrepeat]

DD is 5 and can just be so damn difficult, it's just a whole host of really really annoying small things that add up to be so frustrating. For example gets out the the bath and just happens to stand on DS's foot then acts like it was an accident, brushing their teeth and just has to stand just too close to the sink and DS so he can't get to the tap, puts nightie on just happens to repeatedly put it on back to front arm in the wrong hole etc etc, eventually get into bed I try and tuck her in and she lifts her legs just as i'm putting duvet down so kicks the whole thing off again and again - and the list goes on. I say good night and she then gets out of bed about 7 seven times just moaning on about nothing and refusing to get back into bed until I eventually lose it and really shout at her and DS (who has down nothing wrong) of course they are now asleep and I am left feeling really guilty for losing it at them. arghhhhhh

[rhetorician]

sounds like my house, except that mine still aren't asleep. Total pain in the arse. I should say stuff about boundaries and being firm and that, shouldn't I?

[Nevercan]

And my house although I have figured out that my two do not like the light in the hall outside their bedrooms being turned off or doors closed. So if they get out of bed too many times I just say next time lights off and bedroom doors closed. After following through a few times they now seem to listen - most of the time...

[benandhollyonrepeat]

DD hates the door being closed and light off too so I threaten that too and then lost it and did shut her door so she screams which in turns upsets DS who comes out crying saying I've upset DD - all because I just want them to go to bed at a decent hour. God it has wound me up tonight!!!

[Iwillorderthefood]

If she keeps putting legs up, stop putting the duvet on, stop coming back. Maybe have a clock and show her how long you will be in the room with her and what time she needs to be in bed. In that time have a bedtime story. If she messes about,msjut the book at the appointed time, explain why and goodnight. You can also threaten no bed time story, at any time should behaviour not be appropriate. She will get the message, and you will hopefully help to foster a love of books.

[Lovelydiscusfish]

I'll sound like a big meanie now, but I don't put the cover on dd(3) at all, because I got so sick of her doing the legs thing. Nor will I engage in the discussion of which teddies she has with her to cuddle (tip I got from on here). After stories, water, wee, and cuddles, I breeze out, saying "you sort out the covers and teddies yourself. Love you. See you in the morning!"
We have also (and this might seem awful to some, but works for us) started to allow torch and book in bed. This was after I read a parenting book suggesting dc (even young ones) are just allowed to do what they like in their room after 7, as long as they stay in there and respect the parents' adult time. This is our watered down version of that, and it is working for us, touch wood.

[toomuchtooold]

discus, do you remember what the parenting book was? My twins are going into "big girl beds" soon and their sleep needs are starting to diverge a bit. I'd like to be able to give them a bit more freedom in the evenings as one is always tired before the other.

[Artandco]

I think lots of those things I would just leave.

So nighty on the wrong way just leave it the wrong way or get her to change it alone, she's 5 and can manage to put a long top on alone or sleep with it around wrong way

Same with duvet. Tuck in once, if she kicks off leave it, she is old enough to put it on. You can check she's covered later in Eve when she's asleep

Take her and brother out bath seperately or split so they aren't in each other's way. Or get both out and send daughter to get her own pjs on whilst you do brothers teeth, then he can go and get in bed ready for books whilst you help her clean her teeth