I have an 8 month old baby. From the first day my partner moved into the spare room and put in ear plugs. I knew he'd do this on work days, that's only reasonable while I'm on maternity leave, but he's still doing it on weekends, on holidays etc. I have stopped breast feeding in the last week, and have been mixed feeding since 6 months, so he's got a lot more opportunity to be involved in everything - he's just starting now to actually 'do' stuff, but not much of it happens without me asking him to do a specific thing. I think the general chore stuff of making bottles, getting bed stuff out, taking her for a bath etc will just improve, since it's improved a lot in the last 6 weeks.
BUT... in all that time he's only dealt with her between the hours of 11pm and 7am on 4 occasions. She's not a good sleeper, I'm exhausted and just want a night off where I can sleep for 8 hours. Or even 5 hours to be honest.
Every time we have a night scheduled in for him to be the main person getting up to her, there is a reason why it can't happen.. interview the next day, feels ill, she's ill and so on. Tonight it was meant to be happening - I put her to bed, came out of the room to find him tucked up fast asleep in the spare room. At 8.30. So... that's me on duty for the night again then is it? He's apparently 'ill' - he aches. Diddums.
Obviously we need to have a conversation about this for the future - I'm going back to work for a few days here and there as of next week, 4 days a week in September. He's also doing a 10 days in 9 days contract as of now. Even the nights before those days off there have been 'reasons' why he can't get up to her.
Apologies for the long rant (I'm FUMING right now) - what do you to try and make sure that childcare is a properly shared job? I want to get something sorted out in an almost formal way as I think that's the only way he'll actually start properly stepping up.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.
Parenting
How do you share childcare with your partner?
37 replies
ohthegoats · 07/06/2015 21:16
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.