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If you have two mobile preschoolers...

(11 Posts)
Hygellig Sat 06-Jun-15 21:14:54

...how much do you feel you can manage with no other adults, in terms of trips and days out?

I have a DS aged 4.5 and DD aged 2.5. I'm finding it increasingly difficult taking them out when I'm not with DH or another adult. For example, we recently went to a little farm nearby that has an indoor playbarn. We decided to come out of the playbarn and have an ice cream. We had just sat down at a picnic table to eat them when DS announced he needed a poo (of course he hadn't needed one five minutes earlier). So we had to balance our ice creams on the table and go to the toilet. Then he decided he couldn't poo. We came back to the melting ice creams only for DD to then decide she needed to go the toilet. So we had to leave the ice creams again...it would have been easier if I'd been with a mum friend who even if the adult-child ratio had been the same could have stayed with the other children while I took one of them to the loo.

I do take them to a few other places which have been a bit easier but they always seem to want to go in different directions or look at different things. I also normally only take them out on their bikes if I have another adult with me, as DD will zoom off on her balance bike whereas DS pootles along at walking pace but wants me to stay next to him. The park can also be difficult as they want to go on different things and sometimes both need help. In theory I can take both of them swimming now by myself but I haven't attempted it, as I know they would both want me to hold on to them. DS is at morning nursery and most afternoons recently we've just been staying in the house and the garden as I otherwise I get anxious about trying to keep them both safe and near to me. Whilst I don't want to wish their lives away I keep thinking it will be much easier when they are four and six.

Asleeponasunbeam Sat 06-Jun-15 21:22:27

I still struggle with mine at nearly 3 and nearly 6. And I'm a teacher, used to millions of the little buggers. DD is even fairly compliant these days, but it's still difficult.

It's really, really hard! No advice really, sorry. I'm really conscious of how DH never has to manage them both in the way I have to. We both work full time but I do all the nursery pick ups, swimming lessons etc.

Asleeponasunbeam Sat 06-Jun-15 21:23:39

Oh the anxiety about safety. I end up so shouty and it's always because of that. Car parks are my worst places.

poocatcherchampion Sat 06-Jun-15 21:28:10

Ive got a 1& 3/4 yo and 3yo. I don't worry about taking them out.

In the example above I'd have taken them for a wee before ice creams (dd2 cant hold very long yet) and have said whoever could have a poo after ice cream and if they were really desperate to eat faster. (And then I'd think that I didn't have any change of clothes again and hope my gamble paid off)

I never go to the park - cba, though dh does sometimes and it seems OK

I do occasionally take them both swimming but they both wear rings.

I do most things with them but use a buggy as a crutch - dd2 is more wayward and usually a single suffices these days, although they swap around a bit.

I expect it is different when they are a older and more opinionated smile

01818118181 Sat 06-Jun-15 21:35:07

I have 2 very mobile preschoolers! 2 and 3. I lay out ground rules before things like getting out of car- getting them to both get out the same side of the car helps. It means one of them climbing over seats but means they're never out of sight. Generally I avoid nightmare situations but some things can never be helped. Many a time I've just packed up an walked out of places like farm parks resulting in the 3 of us crying all the way home! I've been reassured our gets easier as they get older but I'm not so sure!

You are not alone OP.

01818118181 Sat 06-Jun-15 21:36:46

Should say 3 & 4 they've had birthdays! blush

Mummify Sat 06-Jun-15 21:39:07

I love when the adult to child ratio is favourable! I have 2 under 5 fully mobile. There is no way I would go shopping / walking anywhere for any length of time without putting the youngest in the pushchair - very impressed you take them out on bikes! I do take them swimming alone, but I didn't have the guts to do that until I got home from work one day and my husband said he had taken them swimming alone. I thought well if he can do it so can I! I always take things to distract (small toys / colouring books and crayons / healthy snacks) then have something unhealthy (a milk bottle sweetie is fave) for if the going gets really tough and I need compliance immediately! Toilet and nappy changes are v hard when it is 1 on 2 - no advice really, just feel your pain! I got a buggy board recently which is good and bad in equal proportions - keeps eldest in one place but they are so heavy to push!
In general I try to go out when they are not cranky (so in the morning), be at home for naptime (so I can make the most of it!) pack the distractions as above and not rush - if I go at their pace they seem much calmer.
I expect the next few years will bring their own challenges - their increased independence will make it easier but I already know I'm going to look back on these crazy days with longing.

Hygellig Sat 06-Jun-15 21:52:53

Glad I'm not alone in finding it hard. We do usually take the buggy for DD and have a buggy board although I'm trying to not let DS go on that very much any more. We have a nice park about 15 minutes walk away but I actually find it easier to drive there - otherwise they will both want to scoot which is scary when it comes to crossing the main road. Then they get tired on the way back as it is uphill, so I end up pushing a buggy, with DS on the board and both scooters balanced on the buggy.

Will make sure to insist they go to the loo before any ice-cream stops, even if they say they don't need to. I am actually quite looking forward to DS being at full-time school in September as DD on her own seems quite easy in comparison.

Asleeponasunbeam Sat 06-Jun-15 21:56:59

I haven't introduced scooters to mine. Too scary and fast for me!

RatOnnaStick Sat 06-Jun-15 22:04:48

I'm the mother screaming like a fishwife at whichever child has run off this time blush. Mine are the same age as yours and I find it really really hard if its just me and them. We have a familiar route of local farm park, a couple of town parks and the woods near my home. There is no way on this earth I would attempt swimming or even soft play because DS2 needs so much attention still. Bikes are saved for the weekend with DH except around the garden.

Our week consists of preschool for DS1, a couple of groups for DS2, seeing my parents every tuesday and taking DS1 to his swimming lesson on friday followed by a picnic in the park. The occasional farm visit in holiday time.

Other than that we stay around the house or friends houses where they can be confined more easily.

I can't wait for DS2 to become a bit more independen

RatOnnaStick Sat 06-Jun-15 22:07:29

I don't mind DS1 having his scooter but only if I have DS2 corralled on my back or in the pushchair.

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