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Argumentative 6yo

(11 Posts)
HardcoreInternetFriend Mon 01-Jun-15 22:12:54

What is the best way to deal with an argumentative child? My DS1 is going through a phase (I hope it's a phase!) of arguing a lot. So for example, he will ask a question about a film, I answer and he disagrees with me and won't back down for ages. Or if he has been told off for something, like carrying on when he is supposed to be doing homework, he will argue that he wasn't carrying on, etc etc. At the moment, if he keeps arguing with me I have been putting him in time out for a little while but is there another way to deal with this better? Anyone else have any experience??

HardcoreInternetFriend Mon 01-Jun-15 22:13:39

I should say, I do try to reason calmly with him, but I seem to get drawn into the argument too, hence the time out, I need it as well!

Velociraptor Tue 02-Jun-15 11:35:30

I have an argumentative 7 year old. I try not to engage with the arguing. There is a lot of agreeing to disagree in our house. If you find out how to stop it though please let me know!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 02-Jun-15 11:57:01

Don't engage once you have answered, takes two to arguesmile

holeinmyheart Thu 04-Jun-15 19:25:44

I had spirited argumentative children ( not all of them) in fact in between the arguing they were saying 'why' all the time.
The most argumentative ones are now Doctors. Looking back, I think that they actually had enquiring minds.
So your DS may be the same. If I had known exactly how they were going to turn out I might not have been so impatient with them.

I had one go at giving them a wonderful happy and secure childhood and I am not sure I was always as nice as I should have been,

Six isn't very old. They are not really old enough to plot and think ' how can I make my Mother' really annoyed today.

I think it is a phase they go through, arguing and testing the boundaries. I think you should be as patient as you can.

When they leave home it becomes awfully quiet without them.

HardcoreInternetFriend Mon 08-Jun-15 11:49:14

Thank you for the advice and experience too, I will try to be as patient as I can, it's not always easy though! I have just implemented a reward chart so hopefully that helps.

holeinmyheart Tue 09-Jun-15 07:35:46

Well their childhood is the only one they are going to get and how we behave towards them has a phenomenal impact on their future. You only have to look at the thread 'We took you to a stately home etc' to see the devastating impact some parents behaviour have on children.

They are the helpless children and we are the adults. They are too young to plot. When they behave contrary to our wishes, they are just being children.
If we then scream and shout at them and handle them roughly we are giving them a clear message that this is acceptable behaviour.
What we should be doing of course is treating them with patience and respect. In fact treating them how we ourselves would like to be treated.

It is bloody hard when you are dog tired, not to be tempted to lose the plot and scream and slap. If you then watched a video of yourself doing that, wouldn't you be thoroughly ashamed ? Because you know it is wrong.

Count ten, be patient, get down to their level and be kind to them. When they are grown up they will repay you for every kindness in SHEDLOADS.
No parent is perfect.

HardcoreInternetFriend Tue 09-Jun-15 09:25:38

I would never scream at my DC or lay a finger on them. But yes I do lose my patience mainly when tired and that's why I use time out, although I know some people think time outs are also cruel. Thank you, it's good to have a reminder to be a lot more patient!

holeinmyheart Fri 12-Jun-15 21:24:16

Well hardcore none of us are perfect. Certainly not me, but I am experienced regarding bringing children up.

I think it is good idea to think ' would I like what I have just done/ said to my children, videoed and played back to a disinterested audience?

If the answer is NO, then I don't think we should be doing/ saying whatever.

Children do remember their childhood and they are affected by raised voices and harsh words. Unfortunately more than you think.
Also although they won't remember your words exactly, they will remember the feeling their home life engendered.

I just don't want you to be sorry in the future for things that you did.
Best of luck because I know you are a caring person otherwise you wouldn't be posting. X

DIYandEatCake Sat 13-Jun-15 01:55:14

Um... OP was simply asking advice on dealing with an argumentative child wasn't she? Don't see any evidence of screwing up anyone's childhood confused.
I have an argumentative 4 yo, younger I know, but sometimes I can divert her with humour (argue something ridiculous back), simply say 'ok, we disagree on that then', or if it's something important, 'I watched you do x, we're not going to argue about this'.

lexyloub Sat 13-Jun-15 04:10:12

My 7yo will argue black is white and also if he doesn't like an answer I've given him he'll keep asking the same question over and over in the hope of a different response it drives Me insane

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