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DS just got his ear pierced without my permission wwyd?

(55 Posts)
Tilly73 Sat 16-May-15 13:21:58

He got it done with another parent present (DS friends mum). She never asked me if I had given permission am I over reacting? We had told him he could get it done at 16 if he wanted to. He has only just turned 13

Fatstacks Sat 16-May-15 13:22:51

Take it out and call the other Mum.

Yanbu

ginmakesitallok Sat 16-May-15 13:25:23

It's only an earring. Bit shocked that another parent would get it done for him!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 16-May-15 13:25:46

I'd make him take it out, with penalties if he argues/refuses. Don't let him keep it. And yes, have words with the other mum.

ltk Sat 16-May-15 13:26:41

Yanbu. What does the other Mum say? You can tell him to take it out and keep it clean until the hole clOses up.

Panzee Sat 16-May-15 13:28:11

Make him wear one of these.

tryingtocatchthewind Sat 16-May-15 13:28:21

Take it out especially as you've told him previously he couldn't have it. Should close up pretty quick

SavoyCabbage Sat 16-May-15 13:29:45

What has your ds got to say?

Tilly73 Sat 16-May-15 13:29:52

Thanks for your replies, not sure what to say to the other parent though, don't know her all that well

Tilly73 Sat 16-May-15 13:31:18

He's really sorry, texted me to let me know
I've told him to come straight home and he's on his way

OneHandFlapping Sat 16-May-15 13:34:06

What kind of parent allows a kid who's not theirs to get a piercing? How hard is it to say I'm sorry you'll have to get your Mum or Dad to agree?

They obviously lack boundaries and are desperate to be Cool Mum/Dad.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sat 16-May-15 13:37:25

On the one hand the other parent is a twat, but on the other 13 isn't that young to pierce his ear. I think he should be allowed to make that decision at 13.

Fatstacks Sat 16-May-15 13:38:35

I'm astonished that anyone would think it's ok to do that to someone else's child.

I'm speaking as someone who offered to pay for and urged my own 14yr old ds to get a tattoo in Turkey.

luckily the bluff worked outside the tattoo parlour and that was the end of 18months of tattoo obsession

AnotherGirlsParadise Sat 16-May-15 13:39:21

I'd also have a word with the shop who did it. In regards to any piercing on a minor, where I work (and pierce) we require parental consent and for them to be present and sign the forms giving permission. I certainly wouldn't pierce a child who came in with a friend's parent! You can almost always tell when someone posing as the parent is lying (particularly when they can't remember their 'own' child's date of birth grin), and the shop shouldn't have performed the piercing.

DixieNormas Sat 16-May-15 13:41:28

The parent should have checked with you

But he is 13, id have let him. Mine had it in for about 2 years on and off then didnt bother anymore. cant see why the big fuss tbh

kilmuir Sat 16-May-15 13:41:51

I would be pissed off with the parent

MuddhaOfSuburbia Sat 16-May-15 13:43:09

The other parent is a twat

As for ds, when it gets sore (which it will) he will rue the day

Don't be too cross with him

dementedpixie Sat 16-May-15 13:44:32

They should have checked but on the other hand I wouldn't be that bothered tbh. I would let dd get hers done (she is 11) but she doesn't want them done yet

SanityClause Sat 16-May-15 13:48:37

A 13 yo is old enough to decide whether he wants his ear pierced. I agree that he was out of order to have it done behind your back, and the other parent was beyond the pale to aid and abet him, but if you hadn't come down all Victorian Dad on his arse, you wouldn't be in this position, now.

DD1 is 15, and wanted her lip pierced for Christmas. We let her, on the basis that if the school said to remove it, she must do so. She agreed (ie, took responsibility) so we let her. She uses a clear retainer for school.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 16-May-15 13:54:05

Totally disagree SanityClaus. A just 13 year old may want his ear pierced, bit its up to his parents to allow it or not.

DinosaursRoar Sat 16-May-15 13:57:23

He knew you wouldn't allow it, so even if 13 is old enough to make the decision for other parents, he went behind your back rather than try to argue his case with you.

Make him take it out.

boys with pierced ears look really naff and tacky anyway

Pipbin Sat 16-May-15 14:02:57

I think the fact that it is a piercing that is socially normal and ok for a child his age is beside the point.
The fact is that you said not to do something and he went and did it anyway. The betrayal and going behind your back is the problem, not what he actually did.
I would be having words with the other parents. Even if your DS said that you had said it was ok then she still should have called you to check.

Tubbytimmy Sat 16-May-15 14:04:35

Who paid for it?.

The other parent is a twat.

Tilly73 Sat 16-May-15 14:05:06

I know it sounds strict but it's still surely my decision untill he's 16

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 16-May-15 14:05:54

I'm a bit shocked that any other parent would have done that, tbh! I'm not surprised that your DS tried to get it done early though - maybe he thought that once the job was done, you'd have to let him keep it.

Shame, eh? wink

Yes, get him to take it out and hopefully the hole will close completely.

My DH made the mistake (according to him) of getting one ear pierced in his late teens, by his early 20s he realised it made him look a bit of a twat, so removed it. Except unluckily for him, he got some kind of abscess in his ear, so the front hole never closed up at all (the back hole did). Occasionally it flares up a little and you can get pus out of it; but he never completely clear it, and it never closes. Every now and then he has a rant about how he wishes he'd never got it done.

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