14 mo biting other children at childminder

[Littlef00t]

DD bit a child at the childminder yesterday. They were all playing and I presume she got overexcited or stressed or something and bit the child's leg.

She has been teething and has got two shiny new teeth today, so I think it's related as she does tend to be a bit more bitey when she's teething. She's been nipping me breastfeeding, but also lunged and bit my shoulder or chest when I'm removing her from a situation and she's unhappy about it.

I just don't know what to suggest the childminder does in response. Naughty step seems massively excessive for a 14 mo, but its vital she knows not to do it as I doubt the other parents would put up with it for long.

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

We went through exactly the same with my DS at about that age (he's now 2.3). It's really, really awful. He goes to nursery 3 mornings a week and I used to dread picking him up.

Nursery were really supportive. They worked really hard to try and establish what triggered it (nothing really - though he was much worse when tired). We got into a routine of telling them if he'd not slept well and they would keep a closer eye on him to try and stop him biting.

If he DID bite, nursery staff made a huge fuss of his "victim" - lots of cuddles etc - whilst DS watched, then they calmly told him it was unkind to bite, it hurt his friends etc. It sank in eventually (or he just grew out of it).

You have my sympathies - it's horrible, but they do grow out of it!

[Jackiebrambles]

Don't stress, its TOTALLY normal and they all do it. My DS has bitten at least twice at his nursery and has been bitten at least twice too! They grow out of it.

I'm sure your childminder has dealt with this A LOT, i'd be very suprised if they haven't.

I think the normal response is obviously a very firm NO and an explanation of why 'Look how sad you've made XXXX, biting is very wrong'. And also to give lots of affection and attention to the child who was bitten.

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

I think the normal response is obviously a very firm NO and an explanation of why 'Look how sad you've made XXXX, biting is very wrong'. And also to give lots of affection and attention to the child who was bitten.

That is the best way to deal with it. 14 month olds live in the here and now, any lessons about biting hurting or being unkind only mean anything directly after the action.

They do grow out of it and lots of children go through the phase.

[Littlef00t]

Thanks guys. The childminder hadn't discussed 'punishment' with us and tapped her hand and put her in time out! She was instinctively following the style another parent had requested she use but imo not suitable for such a young child.

Happy to speak to her that a firm no, fuss of the victim and taking her away from the situation is more appropriate, just hope it doesn't happen too often

[Jackiebrambles]

Yeah a hand tap and time out isn't appropriate imo. Time out doesn't work on such young kids I don't think. And I wouldnt want anyone 'tapping' my kid!!

[Littlef00t]

I've spoken to the childminder who is a good friend even before we had dd, and I trust absolutely. The story from DH was somewhat enhanced.

She said the tap was more talking with her hands and demo was like you might with an elderly lady, 'how are you, grasp/tap hand' doubt this make sense to anyone! and time out was her taking her away from the situation and sitting with her, stopping her from carrying on the 'fun' which I would have done too as she clearly needed time to calm down or have a cuddle.

She's been biting me a lot recently when she's finished with a boob, and I've just been taking her off and saying no, but think I need to get firmer. Do people think it's ok to put her on the floor for a couple of seconds. She won't like it and I'll pick her up again and carry on, but it needs to stop, it's painful!