Did I drop newborn??

(43 Posts)
PretzelPrincess Tue 05-May-15 23:15:18

I'm really panicking right now. I have a 3 week old and sleep deprivation is starting to kick in. I'm having flashbacks to last night where I picked the baby up from the floor next to the Moses basket.
I can't tell if this actually happened or if it was some sort of a dream.
If it did happen then how did he end up on the floor? Did I fall asleep while feeding him and drop him??? sadsadsad
There have been a few other occasions where I think something's happened but it was just some form of dream. Nothing major-for example I've woken up thinking I need to put milk I've just expressed into the fridge but it turns out I haven't actually expressed yet.

PretzelPrincess Tue 05-May-15 23:17:01

I'm just so worried that I did drop him and that if I did I might do it again. sadsadsad
I'm so upset and angry with myself.
DS seems fine today and I can't see any signs of him being hurt. I can't even discuss this with DH as I know hel be so angry.

madwomanacrosstheroad Tue 05-May-15 23:18:16

Talk to your health visitor. Could be anxiety and you may need a bit extra support.

FATEdestiny Tue 05-May-15 23:19:19

No one here can actually answer your question.

It would be worrying if the baby was on the floor in the night. Could this be to do with anxiety? I would talk to your doctor about these kinds of thoughts/dreams. Don't worry, you won't be judged. Just helped flowers

Vladimar Tue 05-May-15 23:19:55

I used to have these flashbacks too if it helps. Or put baby in the cot safely then wake up in a panic convinced baby was lost under the quilt.

I don't know if you dropped you baby but you should so upset I just wanted to share that I had these kinds of panics and it seemed real

Vladimar Tue 05-May-15 23:20:29

Excuse typos

Vladimar Tue 05-May-15 23:21:14

Also is your partner generally supportive??

PieceOfTheMoon Tue 05-May-15 23:22:09

It was probably a dream - if it had really happened I think your instincts would have kicked in and properly woken you up. If DC seems fine, they probably are, but you could see GP or HV to set your mind at rest.

Is there anyone who can look after DC for a few hours to let you get some proper sleep?

Vladimar Tue 05-May-15 23:23:10

Really you should be able to turn to your partner for support..

PieceOfTheMoon Tue 05-May-15 23:25:33

DH used to have these kind if dreams when we had DS1. I used to wake up to find him scrabbling around the bed looking for DS, this went on until he was about 2! Used to drive me potty. I once caught him out in the hallway looking for DS under an ornament - that was a low point.

Primaryteach87 Tue 05-May-15 23:27:09

Honestly, it was probably a dream, precisely because you are so careful. It's your mind rehearsing what you must do. I had dreams every other night that my baby was crying when they were a newborn. I'd shake my husband awake, only for him to tell the baby was fast asleep!

sleepyhead Tue 05-May-15 23:28:04

It's common to have these sort of sleep deprived anxiety dreams ime. Both dh & I used to wake in a panic and scrabble around for the baby (who was safe in his cot).

It was always about them being lost under the covers or dropped on the floor.
It's a desperate feeling, but I doubt you did drop your baby. You'd have woken like someone poured ice water over your head if you did.

Didactylos Tue 05-May-15 23:28:51

Ive had similar dreams - woken DP up in a complete panic to berate him for leaving the baby on the foot of the bed instead of putting her in the cot-
total gubbins but it felt so real I was totally convinced it had happened confused

it may 'just' be sleep deprivation but talk to your HV - not sleeping, anxiety and fearful episodes like this may be a sign of an underlying issue and she may be able to offer support and assistance.
last comment on your OP - Why do you think your husband will be angry - is he supportive?

TwilightSparkle Tue 05-May-15 23:32:14

I used to regularly dream I'd fallen asleep with the baby in bed with me, and wake up and frantically look for her under the duvet. She was always in her Moses basket. I had even scarier dreams as well. It seems pretty common and it's just a understandable anxiety dream. Those early days with an newborn are stressful.

I think if you had dropped your baby you would be so shocked the adrenalin would kick in - you'd have woken up properly and acted on it- and you would remember it very clearly.

PretzelPrincess Tue 05-May-15 23:34:27

I really hope it was a dream. I will talk to HV if I'm not feeling better by her next visit.
I'm just worried because I know I have fallen asleep whilst feeding him. Maybe I'll try and not feed him in bed.
DH is really supportive and helpful, I have no complaints there. He's offered to do some night time feeds, takes DS1 out during the day so I can rest etc. I guess I'm just embarrassed that I could have let something like that happen.

PretzelPrincess Tue 05-May-15 23:35:36

I really hope it was a dream. I will talk to HV if I'm not feeling better by her next visit.
I'm just worried because I know I have fallen asleep whilst feeding him. Maybe I'll try and not feed him in bed.
DH is really supportive and helpful, I have no complaints there. He's offered to do some night time feeds, takes DS1 out during the day so I can rest etc. I guess I'm just embarrassed that I could have let something like that happen.

PretzelPrincess Tue 05-May-15 23:36:40

It's reassuring that others have had these kind of thoughts/dreams.

CoffeeChocolateWine Tue 05-May-15 23:39:56

I used to have similar 'dreams' when both my babies were newborns..I put it down to sleep-deprivation and a bit of new parent anxiety. There were lots of times when I would wake and sit bolt upright thinking that I was smothering the baby with a duvet, knocked him out of bed, or that I'd left him somewhere or lost him when in fact he was sleeping soundly in his cot and then find myself thinking about it the next day. There was also a memorable time when my DD was a week or so old when my son woke me up uspet and I saw his little outline holding something floppy in his arms. OMG how my heart leapt and I flung myself at him to get the baby out of his arms...only to find it was in fact his teddy! Anyway, I digress...but just to say I know what you mean about these flashbacks and weird dreams.

We can't answer your question for you, but my instinct would say that if you dropped your baby in the night, your baby would have cried a lot and you would have been in a terrible state (very much awake rather than semi-conscious and having to wonder the next day if it really did happen) and your husband would have woken. I don't think you would have been dozily lifting your silent baby back off the floor and carrying on with a feed if that makes sense. But if you are worried, as previous posters have said, talk to your HV.

Katekoom Wed 06-May-15 00:54:38

I'm sure as others have said that it was a dream. I think the adrenaline would kick in if you found baby on the floor and fully wake you for sure.

I've fallen asleep whilst feeding before and it is dangerous! However Mw advised me to lay down and feed this way (I was breastfeeding. If you're bottle feeding then I would aim to make yourself less comfy. And do speak to the Hv, that's what they're there for.

Its so hard at this early stage but will get lots easier xx

StupidBloodyKindle Wed 06-May-15 02:02:47

Hello OP
First off...flowers brew cake

A woman on here once said she was so sleep deprived she tried to breastfeed the duvet.

I once woke up in full panic sat up bolt upright shouting: Where's the baby? Where's the baby?
DH says: She's here, she's here, don't worry
I turn round, look at her, then say quite firmly: That's not my baby! grin

Lack of sleep will do that to you.

If your dh can do the odd feed, that will really help you. If you sleep while the baby is sleeping likewise. If baby falls asleep with you or sleeps better with you, say in the afternoon, maybe he can keep an eye out , be in the same room but just as an extra pair of eyes.

To make you feel better...my 9 week old fell off the sofa whilst I fell asleep feeding her sad
Even though she took the duvet with her so landed softly as one could in those circumstances she yelled the place down.

It is not at all likely you dropped your baby and it carried on sleeping or you slept through its cries.
Babies' bodies are more relaxed when asleep, thank God, so maybe less sustainable to damage than when fully alert BUT a big drop fall will mean crying usually...I can only think of one occasion when my baby was so knackered she fell off a day bed and slept face down on the carpet blush. She was older but not a bump on her so must have landed well.
All three of mine have fallen from a proper bed but at the crawling stage (they are now 13, 4 and 2 if anyone was considering calling social services). Crying was involved not just the babbies and a bump/bruise which means it is less likely this happened to your baby.
When heavily asleep my toddler is fab, I was carrying him up today and knocked him on the door frame by accident and he didn't stir but he is now two.

What I have learnt:
Do some catch up sleep now with dh either being watchguard or doing a feed for you...as you might hit the 'wall' week 6/7 or when there is a growth spurt. Cluster feeding is a nightmare, I remember it well. Have some more cake

Avoid bf on a sofa. Never did it with dc2 or 3.

Consider temporarily moving a mattress onto the floor making sure no gap between mattress and wall. Did this with a futon mattress with dc3 and coslept. Was excellent and saved my sanity during the first year.

Do make sure if you co-sleep or bf in a bed that your dh is either watching or your baby is completely out of your duvet.
My second one wriggled under the duvet once...that wasn't a dream but I woke up in time fortunately.

After dc1...no sofa feeding. Ever again. after dc2.... no duvets, sleepsac for them and warm pjs for me
dc3...futon mattress on the floor. Got there eventually fortunately with no casualties.

The little sleep sack things the babies have are a Godsend for out the duvet cosleeping and for cot comfort. Babies anyway, as mine got older they spurned the larger ones, no chance of being under duvet or blankies, all three kicked everything off from 18 months.

A side cot next to your bed might work for you or bed rails or bed side buffers, all available on the Internet.

Huge hugs to you. Have been where you are three times. Gets easier by the third the baby stage anyway
There will be at least one fall/accident in the first year. You will cry. You will feel responsible. The whole of mumsnet will tell you it is a rite of passage and hold your hand.

In case you are ever faced with a definite fall scenario...you are watching out for loss of consciousness, vomitting and the best guide ever - their eyes...are the pupils the same size. Any sign of grogginess, being out of it. I use butter on bumps and a cold compress although the latter might not do much acc to some recent research, it makes me feel better. Monitor for two hours (I used to keep mine awake but gp said let them sleep if normal nap time). If still teeny tiny I would of course go to A+E. On the one occasion I did that I was treated with nothing but compassion and sympathy.

Take care of you and try to get a bit of REM sleep even for one night.
All the best
Kindle Xxx

strawberry01 Wed 06-May-15 02:10:40

I think it was probably a dream too. If you had dropped the baby surely they would have cried. You would have probably also woken yourself right up if that happened.

I used to wake up thinking I had fallen asleep with DD in the bed and would be panicking looking under the covers. It was horrible. She was always sleeping soundly in her basket.

Eltonjohnsflorist Wed 06-May-15 02:37:25

OP you poor thing. Like Pp I have woken up panicky the baby is in the bed and it has taken me some seconds to come round enough to realise she's in her crib.
I strongly suspect you didn't drop the baby as I can't imagine they would be quiet had that been the case. newborns have a strong "startle" reflex when they think they're being dropped which involves screaming and stiffening their body and mine does this when she is nowhere near being dropped- it's really loud.

I'm in 2 minds whether you should talk to the Hv about anxiety. This seems normal especially when sleep deprived and I just wonder if it will start off a trail of actions you may struggle to stop. Alternately she may say what we've all said, it's common in sleep deprivation and normal new parent anxiety.

I think if I were you I'd see how I feel in a few days

Trapper Wed 06-May-15 04:45:04

Sounds like a dream to me too. Sleep deprivation is a bitch and nothing prepares you for it. Please take your partner up on the offer of sharing night feeds.

5YearsTime Wed 06-May-15 05:34:01

Sounds like a dream and anxiety over a newborn.

My DH has dreams about losing the baby in the bed and I picture danger wherever-like dropping from a bridge or dropping a knife when I'm tidying in the kitchen. It's like a horrible hyper alterness.

Elllimam Wed 06-May-15 05:49:46

Soundest like a dream to me too. Babies who fall out of the bed scream . I used to have regular dreams in my first few months where DS was lying across my stomach. I would then wake in a mad panic, where was he? Erm in the Moses basket where he had been all along. It's sleep deprivation :/

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