Finding the weekends isolating(14 Posts)
I work PT & am generally home weekends as my husband tends to work weekends (shifts). We have a 18 month old son.
I find the weekends quite isolating
& get a bit stuck what to do. Most of my days off I organise play dates / go out to soft play etc but on the weekends alot of places geared towards my son locally are closed & my friends (I assume) are having family time with their partner & kids.
I find the days long & a bit stuck what to do. So today we are about to go for a walk to the bakers & later on I have some shopping to collect from town. Tom morning we will go swimming. But it's just me & LO, & as much as I love it being us 2, two whole days seem such a long time! I struggle with activities at home & find the TV is on more than it should be. He is not walking so trying to help him practice at home. When he does we could go for little walks to the park. Stuff we currently do is colouring, Lego, playing in the garden, & few other little things. Everything has a shelf life of about 10 mins.
I do (try) & keep on top of the housework too so I am not lazy or anything. I just a bit stuck what to do on my own with a toddler & no adult company.
What's triggered my post as I looked at the clock & realised it's 10am, & a little daunted & isolating that I have 2 days of this ahead. Again.
You have my sympathy days with a single toddler are long!
Have a picnic in the garden/ park
Go to the playground I know he's not walking but can you put him in baby swings, slides etc..
Have a bath, doesn't have to be in the evening, sometimes I have one with my LO mid morning and this encourages sleep, if yours still has a daytime nap
Try to include him in what you are doing eg if you are in kitchen cooking can you give him some pots & pans to play with on the floor
If gardening I let my LO play with the potting soil, gets very messy but enjoys the texture/ feel etc..
I also found the jumperoo really helpful before walking stage as they are upright, get a different perspective and can bounce in their for a while
Just extending normal activities reading books etc
Making a box den & putting toys inside
I've got a baby and have the same problem Thur/Fri. No clubs, dh at work, everyone else at work or busy.
Things I have tried:
Garden Centre (many have a soft play or toy area in the cafe)
National Trust type parks - some are free, some charge for parking. They tend to have lots to look at.
The local big library with a decent kid area.
Contacting no - kids mates and going for lunch, they are like "wow, cute baby, can I play with her?" and I'm like "YES!! Slurp slurp coffee..." Of course these need to be rotated so baby novelty doesn't run out lol.
If I've actually tidied up I invite people round. I mention cake and wine. Usually works lol.
...it is a bit maddening isn't it?
I could have written your post. Although my DH doesn't work every weekend it is quite frequent and he also has a hobby that takes up weekend time. I am often on my own from about 9.30-3.30 and completely agree that it is a real challenge filling the time at the weekend compared to in the week
My DD is 18 months and also a late walker. She only started walking on her own last week! I think that makes it even harder as they need you to walk or carry them around so there is no break. No words of wisdom just some sympathy really and to let you know you're not alone.
Swimming is great as it tires them out. Also just going to family type places that you would with your DH but on your own (cheaper with only one adult ticket to buy) eg zoo, aquarium, farm park, national trust etc. if you have any of those types of things locally.
My husband works shifts including every other weekend.
I do the following:
-Take them to soft play/swimming etc.
-Inside activities such as cooking, art etc.
-Catch up with friends who are single parents, football widows, single without kids etc.
We also do ballet on Saturday morning which means there is always something in the calendar.
I also try and make sure that I do more socialising in the week so the weekends on my own it is nice to spend some time alone with my kids and I look forward to it after spending days off at play dates and classes etc.
I do go along to things without my dh too so there are bbqs etc. Even before kids I got quite used to going to parties and weddings on my own so I am used to being the only one without a partner.
That said I do sometimes get fed up and wish I had decided to fall in love with someone who works 9-5 Monday to Friday.
Thanks everyone. I was feeling quite ungrateful as I know I am lucky to have him but the solo days are so long!
It does get better as they get older so you have someone to talk to!
I have 2 junior school DC, work FT and have shift working DH. It's hard because weekend is only time I get for laundry and housework but today DH is asleep so I'm hardly going to start hoovering. (Also housework is BORING)
Over the years I have got good at finding things to do, all my friends joke that if they need an activity idea they just ask me. Check websites, Facebook etc as there are often random open days at interesting places. Lots of industries have open days - farms, unusual buildings, all sorts. We had a tour of our new swimming pool while it was being built as it was 'construction workers open day'.
I also love reading, and often google a book after reading it to chat online about it which is nice. Esp the MN book threads as they are full of thoughtful people.
I was in a similar position, but it gets a lot easier. I found 18-24 months hard going alone for long days.
I spend all day every day pretty much alone with my two under two My toddler son is very high needs as well so we can't go to soft play or toddler groups, and he doesn't "do" walking, so we're stuck a lot of the time. I've just invested in some wet weather gear, and am going to be taking him and his 6 month old sister on walks in the park (hopefully), come what may. He gets very frustrated very easily and doesn't "do" toys so it's extremely hard to keep him entertained, so parks and play grounds are the best places for us (and they;re free, yay). A foot ball and open space = some breathing space for me.
DH works two weekends out of seven and we have a 3 year old Ds. I tend to try and organise something each day to stop us going bonkers. So swimming/Saturday morning cinema/soft play/national trust/macdonalds/inviting ourselves to grandma's for lunch/supermarket shopping/make cakes/watch a DVD/do puzzles. I get dh to build Ds a massive brio layout to keep him occupied as well! It is hard going and I do get lonely, especially as when he works a weekend he's out 6.30am-8.30pm... It's a long day...
I do think it's worth contacting your weekday friends to see if they would like to spend time with you. It's not uncommon for one parent to be looking after kids while the other gets something done, and be happy for the company even at the weekend.
Yes I wouldn't assume that friends don't want to socialise at weekends. Also some other friends might have partners who work weekends too. Have you checked if there is a story time at any local libraries?
I put mine in childcare for a couple of short days (8.30 - 2.30) per week at that age because I was so bored. They loved it. It's quite a good age for them at childcare. They love it: painting, play, stories, morning teas etc. You can then figure out if you can work or do volunteering or gym or whatever in those hours.
I'm on my own two out of four weekends and ive found it really tough and isolating.
The worse thing for me is not getting a weekend to rekax a bit then starting my working week on Monday absoluteky shattered.
We also struggle to try and cram everything in on the two weekends we are off together.
I recently bought a camper van to take the kids away at weekends but even that is hard on my own.
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