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MIL chest infection -should she visit?

(9 Posts)
furryleopard Wed 18-Feb-15 06:47:17

My MIL is due to visit this weekend to see our 4m DD (and us!) but on the phone last night she told my DH that she has yet another chest infection I think it's about her third this year. The doctor has given her antibiotics again and steriods. She smokes a lot and we had already planned to insist she washes her hands at the very least before coming near DD but preferably changes her clothes etc... DH's aunt thinks MIL shouldn't come because of the chest infection but MIL is still planning to come. DH asked me if I was happy with that as if we're not he will put her off. We aren't sure - the problem is my DH works in retail so rarely gets 2 days off together it's not clear when the next time she can come will be, she seems to permanently have a chest infection anyway and to be brutally honest she lives to see her grandkids, they are what keeps her going. Aside from visits of this nature she has very little to occupy her and has been looking forward to this for weeks. She's a lovely woman and won't come if we aren't happy but she says she's just planning to watch DD on her playgym etc... so not too much contact. Should I say ok come? If we say not to come she'll be very disappointed. I'm unsure what would be for the best.

ch1134 Wed 18-Feb-15 07:13:02

Why wouldn't she come? Is she too poorly? Could you visit her instead?
I might be wrong, but I thought that viruses are contagious but not infections?

Booboostoo Wed 18-Feb-15 07:37:38

My understanding is that chest infections are caused by viruses or bacteria, both of which are contagious through coughing and sneezing.

When did MIL start on antibiotics? They should have an effect within a few days and with precautions (careful when coughing/sneezing, loads of hand washing) it could be ok. It is a risk though and having a poorly four month old, even if it is not serious, is not fun.

Mrscog Wed 18-Feb-15 07:43:02

Bacterial chest infractions are not easily transmitted, they're generally a secondary effect of a viral infection in people with weaker respiratory systems - asthmatics, smokers etc. the virus is probably long gone, so especially if she's sensible with hygiene I think it will be ok.

furryleopard Wed 18-Feb-15 07:58:47

To be honest I try to avoid as much as possible going to hers as I find my chest tightens in the smoke, I dread to think what it feels like for DD. We have to wash everything afterwards otherwise the smoke smell lingers so we have been over for a day once since Christmas. I certainly wouldn't want to sleep at hers. We could do that instead though but mil would still have a chest infection.

I assume she started the antibiotics yesterday as she didn't mention it previously. If it wasn't for DD I'd just say come but with DH's aunt being against it that was what made me think. I think we'll have to see how she feels on Friday but I'm inclined to risk it.

I don't know how ill she was feeling as DH just said she was coughing and weezing as normal and if asked she'll just brush it off.

ch1134 Wed 18-Feb-15 08:03:21

I can see why you wouldn't want to go to hers. But if she lives to see the kids and will travel to you when she feels rotten...
Any reason why it can't be put off for d few days?
I think I'd just tell a white lie.... 'baby's been a bit run down, I'm a bit worried about the chest infection, by all means come but maybe in a few days... be careful coughing around baby etc'

coalscuttle Wed 18-Feb-15 08:07:06

If she has had a viral or bacterial cough you could catch that, but you can't "catch" her chest infection. That's just what it has developed into in her body - prob because she smokes and has less robust lungs. If she had the bug long enough ago for it to develop into an infection she's probably not even contagious any more.

MrsMaturin Wed 18-Feb-15 08:16:08

Very unlikely she's infectious. I think dh's aunt should mind her own business tbh. This is between you and mil. Why is she even involved?
Let your mil see the baby and enjoy her grandchild while she can.

furryleopard Wed 18-Feb-15 08:19:16

My DH is back at work, he is in retail so doesn't really get days off together unless for holiday and he used most of his holiday up in DDs early days and on my pregnancy appointments but his rota has just hit on a Sat/Sun together so we arranged this visit. It'll be a few weeks off at least before he next gets two days off together.

There's a chance she'd be in the same position next time anyway she often has chest infections (and is refusing an x-ray so the doctor can only really prescribe antibiotics but that is a different thread!).

I think the risk to DD is perhaps less than the benefits to MIL so I think maybe we'll just go with the original plan.

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