Five year old behaviour

[drivingmenutty]

Did anyone notice a sudden decline in behaviour at this age? My DD recently turned five and I feel she has been replaced overnight! For weeks now she has been rude, demanding, refusing to do as she is told, refusing to go to bed, saying awful things like she hates me etc, wishes she had another mummy. Some days are better than others, and it always gets worse after tea, tiredness I expect.

I just feel like I don't even know her anymore and it's really getting me down. We did a start a reward chart and she was great for about five days, seeing the stars on her chart build up. But she doesn't seem interested in that anymore, even though she was promised a reward at the end.

Generally I try to ignore her when she's silly and praise good behaviour, but sometimes when she's being that rude and defiant/out of control it's hard to completely ignore it and if I do tell her off she will just laugh in my face. No matter what I do she quite clearly doesn't care and I hate to say it but I feel she's the one in control. Then she seems to suddenly realises her behaviour and will be crying and saying how much she loves me and is sorry afterwards.

I need some new tactics because this cannot go on happening on a daily basis. A 5 year old has control over me. Everything used to be great and I've no idea what's happened.

ANY advice would be very much appreciated.

[Purplehonesty]

Is she at school? I noticed a shift in DS's behaviour when he started.
It is the tiredness as you say. I've found with ds that he needs a snack and drink immediately after school, in the car usually.
We then set the oven timer for half an hour and he gets free time then homework when it goes off. That saves arguments over homework.
Tea is early, five pm at the very latest.

And as for behaviour I still do time out after one warning with him, get down to his level and explain what he did wrong after and wait for apology. It really does work.
I try to praise him as much as I can and keep him occupied with jobs and tasks. I also make sure I play with him - he likes board games just now so we do that after tea.

My top trump is to threaten to remove his trains from his train set as he hates that. So if he is really bad I do that. Usually the threat is enough though.
PM me if you want to chat

[drivingmenutty]

Thanks, yes she started school in September. I have threatened to take things away before and have done but I shall try to enforce this more, and follow through with all threats too!

The general rudeness I can ignore, but when she is jumping in the furniture for example, despite being asked not to several times how do you just ignore it?! Shouting is obviously not working!

I'm really not enjoying parenting at the moment and it feels awful. I dread each and every day and the constant battles that come with it.

[Purplehonesty]

If ds was jumping on the sofa despite being asked not to dh or I would pick him up and take him to time out!

He absolutely hates the thought of missing out on anything so it works.
Remove and or distract - it's a bit like having a toddler I guess!

If she is being rude I would send her out of the room every single time. She will soon get fed up of being excluded from you all.
They pick it up from school, from what they hear in the playground I think.