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Baffled by crying

(13 Posts)
SacherTortured Sun 15-Feb-15 09:15:40

We have a 7 week old baby - our first. When we take him out, or if other people come round to the house he seems really content. Sleeps the whole time, wakes for feeds, then goes back to sleep.

When we're at home alone with him he won't sleep for more than about half an hour before waking. He then cries about 90% of the time he's awake - the main time he settles is on the changing table, unless it involves changing clothes. We do all the checks - look for hunger signs, change his nappy, wind him, check temperature, cuddle him, rock him, try to soothe him, talk to him etc. I've hung things on his cot in case he's bored. I have the radio on for background noise. We've tried white noise apps, a swing seat, everything! We're using a dummy sparingly because I don't want him to become hooked on it and I figure if it drops out while he's asleep he'll just start crying again.

During the night he's a bit better, thankfully, but this is really starting to break us. He was tongue tied and we've had to have it divided twice because it reattached. I expected him to be unsettled but the thing I don't understand is why the difference between being out/around others and being on his own with me and/or his dad. It's making me feel like such a crap mum. I just don't know how to stop him crying and the thought of him being unhappy really upsets me.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Is this just a phase he'll grow out of? I'm finding it really difficult to cope with.

BMO Sun 15-Feb-15 09:18:29

Do you try feeding when he cries? You say "look for hunger signs" but I would always just offer a boob as a first resort before trying anything else. Also if a dummy works, use it! You really don't have to fret about the possibility of them being hooked on it later. Babies need to suck.

nilbyname Sun 15-Feb-15 09:21:56

Have you go a good wrap sling? I expect your baby just wants to be near you. Moby wrap is fantastic!

Also, dummies are not the work of the devil. Use one if you need to.

NerrSnerr Sun 15-Feb-15 09:24:36

The only thing that worked for my baby was to be put on huge boob. She was the same when with others and out and about because she was interested with what's going on, but when at home on the settee she just wanted to feed.

SacherTortured Sun 15-Feb-15 10:15:33

Thanks all. Really reassuring to get such a quick response! Unfortunately not able to BF because of tongue tied complications - tried everything but it just wasn't working. I try as hard as poss to work out when he needs bottle but sometimes he catches me out. I have been using the dummy at this point if he has to wait for bottle. Again, this doesn't seen to be a problem when we're out.

Cuddling him doesn't seem to help but haven't yet tried a sling - good idea.

Take your point about the dummy, there are pros and cons to everything. It's so hard to know what to do for the best.

BMO Sun 15-Feb-15 10:30:35

If he's not breastfed then he's even more likely to need a dummy. Babies have an instinctive need to comfort suck, and they can't do that with a bottle in the way they can at the breast - a dummy is a substitute.

Really typical that babies just want to feed/suckle/cuddle at home but will go longer periods when out and about.

SacherTortured Sun 15-Feb-15 11:50:03

Thanks BMO. Good to know it's typical behaviour at least!

Does the need to suck diminish ie when we start introducing some solids? Just really paranoid I'm going to give him dental issues later in life if I use a dummy. But then I didn't have a dummy and I sucked my thumb and ended up with braces. Can't win! confused
Thanks again for your support. X

nilbyname Sun 15-Feb-15 12:11:49

Dd has a dummy that we binned at 18m

Friends son had a dummy that she binned at 9m

I totally agree,
Some babies are more sucky than others!

BMO Sun 15-Feb-15 12:14:06

The great thing about dummies is you can just get rid of them. So long as they are just kept for bedtimes after about a year then don't worry about dental issues.

seaoflove Sun 15-Feb-15 12:16:31

If the dummy works, use it. He'll get hooked on it but that's the point of them - comfort!

I find dummies fall out when a baby enters a deep sleep, but they carry on sleeping.

SacherTortured Sun 15-Feb-15 21:18:48

Thanks everyone it's been really encouraging to have your support today. X

Katekoom Sun 15-Feb-15 22:14:53

Our 5 week old is very much the same, screams blue murder at me but looks doe eyed at others. I think its different faces. I think that the majority of the time it's being overtired that does it, so i endeavour to put her down before she gets cranky. At the moment she spends about 30mins in total a day where shes not screaming/sleeping/feeding. The majority of time spent feeding.
I figure its just babies, dont beat yourself up x

SacherTortured Mon 16-Feb-15 09:56:42

Thanks Kate. Good luck with everything x

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