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Should I pull 5yo DD out of an after-school activity or insist she continues?

(8 Posts)
vladthedisorganised Fri 13-Feb-15 09:55:58

DD has always been an outgoing sort, and I signed her up to a drama class after school as I was sure she'd love it (she has 'put on shows' at home for as long as I can remember). She was originally quite keen on the idea.

She was on the waiting list and joined a bit later than the rest - the first week she left the class in tears as she had been hungry (bad mummy forgot to pack a snack), and since then she hasn't really been joining in at all with any of it. The drama teacher has said she'll try to work on bringing DD into the class a bit more, but DD insists she doesn't like it and 'just doesn't get on with drama in general'.

Conversely, DD absolutely loves a Spanish class that she does after school and would happily do it every day, which I wasn't expecting.

What I'm not sure about is whether to pull her out after four lessons, or to insist she carries on with it for a bit longer - she doesn't 'need' to do it (although the extra time for me is a huge help as it means I can leave work later) but I'm a bit conflicted - I don't want her to get the idea that she can pick up and drop activities on a whim; but neither do I want her to sit on the sidelines every week feeling upset, which is no fun for her or the teachers - I've taught drama in the past myself. In general DD is going through a really shy phase and talks a lot about having no friends at school - not sure if this is part of the same thing?

It's quite small, but a dilemma nonetheless!

dementedpixie Fri 13-Feb-15 09:58:41

if she isn't enjoying it then I would let her stop - it's not as if she chose to do it in the first place, if it was you that signed her up to it

BananaPie Fri 13-Feb-15 10:00:30

It's meant to be a fun extra activity. If it's not fun, let her stop.

SomethingAboutNothing Fri 13-Feb-15 10:00:30

Could you set a date, say 2 months time or whenever you feel best, and say she has to give it a good go until then but if she still doesn't like it then she can stop. That way she will learn that she has to try things and not just stop at the first hurdle, but equally she can stop if she really doesn't like it then.

TheYellowCat Fri 13-Feb-15 10:17:18

I'm not really into enforced extra curricular activities, apart from essential ones like swimming. Especially when they're little. So I would let her leave.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Fri 13-Feb-15 10:22:43

She loves the Spanish, so she is not avoiding all extra curricular activities and can clearly mix with others. So maybe she just does not like drama or this particular drama class. . ANd she is so young she is probably tired after school and needs to just go home and chill out and "be".

To me it sounds as if you might be using this drama class as a bit of a child minding service. Not fair on your dd.

DeanKoontz Fri 13-Feb-15 10:29:52

If you force her to do it, you might find that it has the opposite effect in that she'll be reluctant to try anything in case she doesn't like it and you still make her go.

Also, she's only 5, two activities a week might be too much.

vladthedisorganised Fri 13-Feb-15 15:54:09

I think I will just pull her out. She did originally choose it herself, I just paid for it - apologies that that wasn't clear, I didn't intend to drip-feed - but there is no point in her going if she is no longer enjoying it.

Thanks for the constructive advice. And I wasn't intending to use it as a child minding service - though the extra time was useful if she had enjoyed it.. but then I'm a shit parent at the best of times sad.

FWIW I also pulled her out of swimming when she went through a stage of hating it so much she refused to go in the building - though she enjoyed it at first, she hated it after two classes were combined and the pool got too crowded to allow for comfortable swimming. She has hated the water ever since and I'm sticking to fun swimming until she's confident enough to join a class again.

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