Oh, I'm in a pickle. My DD is 19months and a treasure. I'm reluctantly back at work 2 days per week and my mum comes to ours and looks after DD. I am very grateful for this - childcare is very expensive and varies in quality where we live so it's really the only way we can manage. Unfortunately, my mum is the interfering type - gives tonnes of unsolicited 'helpful' advice (criticism) and pulls the wide-eyed innocent face when called on any of it. None of what she does is overt, she would never openly question our parenting decisions, she just quietly undermines and it's getting hard to bear. For example, my DD was sick last week and I took the day off work to take her to the doctor. Mum decided to come to ours for the day anyway to "take the pressure off me" but instead spent the whole day second-guessing how I was looking after DD. Including bodily lifting my feverish, sad toddler off me and taking her into another room to read stories to her. After I'd asked her to leave us be for a while until the paracetamol kicked in. I have even come home to the furniture rearranged in DD's room "to make it more convenient."
It's not just me! My husband also gets infuriated by her criticism, and over Christmas she went to stay with my sister who reported the same sort of behaviour and sent mum packing a week early! Unfortunately I feel a bit like I've got to 'wear' it as we do rely on mum for childcare. She's also bailed us out financially recently so there's layers of obligation going on.
Does anyone have any tips or insight that might help me deal with this, day to day? I'm fantasizing about moving far away but that's 1-2 years away right now!
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Parenting
Grandma who oversteps boundaries.
14 replies
TropicalHorse · 11/02/2015 06:24
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