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Would any parents of 3 (or more) like to come and tell me it WILL all be fine? Please!

(12 Posts)
FloweryBoots Fri 06-Feb-15 12:35:26

I'm 38 weeks today with DC3 and I think it's finally starting to sink in that we are actually having another baby! Number 3 was always a bit of a long term game plan for us - I had no desire to be pregnant again, or do the new born bit again (in fact if I could skip pregnancy and the first, say, 14 months that would be grand!). But 2 just didn't seem enough for us once they are older, and when they are grown up. So, number 3 is nearly here and Im starting to get a bit concerned about managing. Number 1 is 4 1/2 and in reception, number 2 will be 2 in March, and has also helpfully decided this week that naps are no longer required! I had a 2 1/2 year gap between 1 and 2 so number 1 was more able to play indipendentaly when we had a new born to handle, and was also really into board games and card games so we could sit and play those through the endless feeding happily. But this time the age gap is not quite 2 years, and number 2 is a much more physical child, and wants me to be involved and 'doing' with her all the time. Plus this time we just have to get up and get going for the school run, there is no option to just accept some days you aren't dressed before 10am. It's going to be very hard work, and very different. But someone please come and tell me it will also be fun, rewarding, there are ways to cope and manage, I wont just be an exhausted shouting heap by 2pm every day. Please. Before my 'bit concerned' turns into utter terror. Because it's too late to go back now.

kirbymaster Fri 06-Feb-15 12:38:29

Just think if you were actually working you would potentially have to get them all out the house at 6.30/7am. The school run always feels really late in the day for me

FloweryBoots Fri 06-Feb-15 12:40:59

I'll leave thinking about managing the 7.30am house leaving until I have to thanks! For now the 8.15am house leaving feel like it will be challange enough in the early weeks.

JugglingLife Fri 06-Feb-15 12:43:38

OP of course it will be fine! It will just be different, that's all. I found my DC3 the easiest baby, they just have to fit in. You are so much more relaxed third time round and if, like me, you know it's your last then you will find pleasure in the small things, like 3am feeds. Our DC3 is 7 now and is the brightest, funniest most feral wink child ever. I know life would have been easier had we stuck at 2 BUT the latter children just bring so much pleasure in so many different ways. You will be outnumbered and yes, that brings challenges. Yes, all 3 will drive you loopy on a regular basis, still wouldn't change it though. Enjoy every single second of your DC3, time will fly.

kirbymaster Fri 06-Feb-15 12:43:44

Seriously you will be fine. With no 1 I was out 7.30 every morn for work, and working 25 hours. Then with dc 2 I was out with both of them at 7.30 to a full time job. When I was at your stage of pregnancy with dc 3 I was out at 6.45 returning at 6, with 2 children, and heavily pregnant.

Everytime stressed it might be hard, but everytime fine after doing it.

GoldfishSpy Fri 06-Feb-15 12:45:32

We have 3. It is fabulous. DS3 has completely made our family complete.
Enjoy! smile

Zsazsabinks Fri 06-Feb-15 14:46:18

You are in exactly the same boat as me! Same ages (almost) of siblings (mine are 6 and 2) and same gestation (I'm 39+1). I'm having the same fears, not least because this week has been awful and I already feel like the shittest mother in the world to the ones I've already got.

DD1 tripped on her shoelace on the way home from school on Monday and fell on her face so hard she knocked out a (already wobbly but still) tooth. I didn't see it because I was talking to another Mum and holding on to the dog! Then Tuesday came and I smashed up my phone by trying to answer it whilst pushing the pushchair. Then Wednesday and I thought I'd take them to the park after school. Wasn't paying full attention again and thought DD1 was walking DD2 up the slide steps and back down the slide, actually, they'd wondered off to the swings and DD2 (2yrs) got hit in the eye by the swing and went flying, now has a black eye! Got home, was so concentrated on making sure DD2 wasn't unwell and cooking dinner that I didn't pay enough attention to DD1 who came down with a bug and puked all over her bedroom floor. I know that's an exceptionally bad week but seriously! It's all over the place, how can I add a new baby to that?! Too late now!!!!!!!!

Hoping that it's part baby brain and once the baby is out I'll be more attentive and things will be OK, but I've gone from thinking all is fine to absolutely panicking about how on earth I'll cope and baby could be here any day!

Sympathies then OP! flowers

MangosMangosMangos Fri 06-Feb-15 17:09:05

My DC's were similar ages to yours when DC3 came along, it was hard work at times but really lovely.

DC3 spent a lot of time in the sling (which he liked fortunately, and I was lucky to pick a sling that was actually comfortable) so it was like going back to having x2 DC's again a lot of the time as I still had 2 hands free or one in the buggy. I also liked not having to have a double buggy out all of the time.

I also used the arrival of DC3 as an excuse to stop ironing and start using Ocardo (which you may have done already).

Other things that helped were having enough school uniform so that if it all went horribly wrong and the washing didn't get done/organised during the week it didn't matter. Same with clothes for myself...I have a weeks worth all lined up on a Sunday evening so that I can just get up, shower and go.

I also had a read on the larger families thread, x3 DCs isn't exactly a large family but I thought if stuff worked well for 6+ DC's it might make life much easier for me with 3.

Good luck and enjoy, it will be great!

Yoruba Sat 07-Feb-15 08:19:20

My dc were almost exactly the same ages as yours when dc3 was born. 4.8 and 22months.

It has been FINE. Honestly, it really has. I'm not going to deny that there are hard bits when I end up shouting and then regret it! Yesterday I was making boiled eggs - dd was having a tantrum that ds1 has chosen the egg cup she wanted, ds1 then chose that moment to push 4 open, full boxes of cereal onto the floor! Which made me shriek! I shouted at ds which then made ds2 cry! But to be honest I think you adjust and people with 2 probably have stressful moments as well. There are definitely stressful moments but on the whole it's lovely.

Can you identify exactly which bits are worrying you? I found I was quite stressed about giving them all some one on one time with me, and also giving ds2 the same "babyhood" I felt the others had had. So I then tried to think of ways to make sure that happened.

You get into a rhythm with the school run etc, though yes that's one of the most stressful times of day! We just do the same routine each day with strictly no deviation! I also aim to leave 10 mins before we need to, this works about half the time and mean the rest of the time we are still on time!!
I bought quite a few books and toys and put them in the cupboard to bring out at tricky moments. We also did a lot of playdough in the early days as it kept the dc focused and calm after school and not fighting, jumping around etc.
get a cleaner if you possibly can - even for the first few weeks.
Don't have high expectations, I found myself beating myself up that ds just watched tv a lot in the early days - it's really fine!

My number 2 sounds a lot like your number two- it's definitely a bit tiring at times!! But there are ways of managing it - I tried to get us out feeding ducks, going for a walk, park etc and I would focus completely on him. That seemed to help. Is she in any child care? Would second a sling too - we had a close caboo you could feed in. Life saver!

FloweryBoots Sat 07-Feb-15 08:21:26

Mangos, really good point on the school uniform! It drives me nuts already having to remember to check things are clean enough or if we've run out because we didn't buy enough in the first place, there's something to address this week! I am actually one of 6 and can't begin to imagine how my parents coped, not a route I will be taking I can assure you, 3 is our stopping point. I remember asking m Mum once if they got to a point where adding another child didn't make much difference and she said after 3 (I don't entirely believe her though!).

Thanks ladies, I hope we will enjoy things as the last time round.

Zsazs, what a week. Sorry you've had a tough one, but it made me smile. Hope everyone is OK again now!

PenelopePitstops Sat 07-Feb-15 08:31:53

Look on the positive side, you have two ready made 'helpers' with baby.

Not a parent of 3 but I am one of 3 and I can remember helping out with the baby when I was a similar age to your eldest. When my youngest sibling was 2 and banned from sleeping in my parents bed, she would sneak into mine instead.

You will be fine, get the other 2 used to feeding themselves and 4yo helping 2yo to dress.

musicinspring1 Sat 07-Feb-15 16:42:56

My dc3 is now 4 months. Dc1 is in reception too and dc2 is 3. I echo everything above. Lots of school uniform has been a big help and Dc1 is trained to put school shoes, book bag etc in exactly the same place each day to save last minute panic. I have found once baby got into a more regular feeding pattern (every 3"hours) life became so much easier. So even of it's tricky to start remember that the baby will change so quickly and you're routine will continually evolve. Congratulations, I love having 3, wouldn't change anything. smile

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